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To think it shouldnt have to be one or the other?

(22 Posts)
Bogeyface Fri 14-Jan-11 09:02:19

Had a conversation last night with a friend, prompted by the BLW v puree thing, and she was adamant that BLW was the only way to go.

I always puree weaned mine, but thats mainly because its what everyone did when my eldest 2 were babies, and I just carried on. But I said that with this one I will probably do a combination of both.

I like the idea of BLW, I think it will help introduce tastes and textures at an earlier age and help avoid the gagging problem I did get with my second particularly, when I introduced lumpier food. It took quite a while to get her off pure purees.

But I do also like the convenience of puree weaning and with a big family time and routine are important. So I am thinking that I will do a bit of both. She said that this would be confusing and do more harm than good and got quite cross with me! With the younger ones I did lumpier food from the beginning as I pureed our meals and you cant really get those as runny and smooth as shop bought without practically making soup, and they managed!

I will just take it as it comes, I am v relaxed about baby care anyway, having done it so often, and tend to try things and see if they work and not lose sleep if they dont! I will do the same with weaning for this one.

AIBU to do this or will I end up with a baby that wont eat either finger foods or purees?!

BlueCat2010 Fri 14-Jan-11 09:04:23

Nah - the baby will let you know what they want. I did the puree thing with DS1 so automatically went to do the same for DS2, only to find he didn't want puree........ he wanted real food!

TattyDevine Fri 14-Jan-11 09:10:37

"BLW" is not some magic superior thing and purees are not some kind of damaging thing that will hold them back.

Just feed your child. If its a piece of apple, hand it to them. If its yogurt, spoon it into them.

If its roast dinner and they are barely 7 months, you can puree it, but if they are 9 months, get them to feed it to themselves.

They are unlikely to be a better or worse eater than if you did or didn't do it. Nobody can really determine if it changes anything like that anyway because they can't go back and not do it with the same child and compare the results.

Your child will still gag if they get a chunk of food too far back before they are ready. Their gag reflex is set quite far forward. It will ease off when they are developmentally ready.

Do what you feel is right. I think most sensible people do a bit of both anyway don't they?

3littlefrogs Fri 14-Jan-11 09:15:25

Thank God there wasn't all this when mine were little. I just cooked everything without salt, steered clear of potentially indigestible stuff,squished up the things they couldn't chew, and they were all eating everything and feeding themselves by the time they were about 14 months.

It never occurred to me that there were diffent "methods". Your friend souinds a bit neurotic. You sound very sensible.

TrillianAstra Fri 14-Jan-11 09:15:39

I'd just like to congratulate you on being one of the few AIBUs I have seen this morning that actually makes a coherent question.

Am I Being Unreasonable To think it shouldnt have to be one or the other?

Lovely. Thank you. I don't even mind the missing apostrophe because you have asked a question that makes sense.

I believe that technically if you put anything in your baby's mouth then you are not doing BLW - BLW is strictly only the baby feeding itself.

But YANBU, there's no reason at all why you can't feed your baby a mixture of solid, mushy, and pureed foods, which it will then eat by a combination of spoon feeding and smearing-over-its-own-face.

AntonDuBurk Fri 14-Jan-11 09:18:06

By waiting until 6 months for both of mine, I found that I was introducing finger foods fairly rapidly alongside the more "traditional" purees. More so with DS (who is now 7.5 months) as I was considering BLW anyway but rather lost my nerve! smile

I have seen comments here that suggest that some babies may get confused by this approach as the sucking off the spoon mechanism is different to the chomping bits mechanism but I haven't personally had any problems doing the two in tandem.

ScotlandR Fri 14-Jan-11 09:20:09

LMAO at the idea of adhering so strictly to 'the rules'!

Your friend sounds a bit mad neurotic. Ditch her and go to Starbucks and strike up a conversation with someone who's child has chocolate cake all round their face.

BaronessBomburst Fri 14-Jan-11 09:28:44

Oh dear. Of course you can do both! I started with purees as wasn't quite brave enough for BLW but after a week or two switched over. DS soon let it be known that he preferred chunks and feeding himself and at 10 months is only just showing an interest in the spoon again. Also, not all aspects of BLW suit all children. DS went through a phase of just swallowing everything without chewing so had to be given tiny lumps of squishy food. And even now he still chokes on apple and can't cope with sticks of raw vegetables, yet can deal with a whole M&S sandwich no problem. You just have to play it by ear.

BaconFlavour Fri 14-Jan-11 09:38:16

I did "straight" BLW with my first (which was great), then, for various reasons, with my second we started on purees then changed to finger foods only after 6 months - which also seems fine so far. So nerr to your friend grin

Bogeyface Fri 14-Jan-11 09:56:45

thanks chaps!

She is a bit neurotic and PFB with both of hers. I know she is horrified at me with my lot, I am sure she thinks that I neglect them because I dont spend my every waking second focussed on them. The fact that we went out once when she had her bag of tricks stuffed to the gills with wet wipes, spare clothes blah blah and I just had my purse was enough to send her skyward!

She is lovely, dont get me wrong, but hard work sometimes! We were only discussing it because I mentioned a thread on here about how parenting "rules" change and how different it was when my eldest was born 20 years ago versus when my youngest 6 years ago versus now and it went from there.

I did gently point out that my other 5 kids are all fine so I cant be that bad a parent (they are all older than hers, although the youngest only by a year) but she said, and no I am not joking "Oh you must be lucky then"

Glitterknickaz Fri 14-Jan-11 09:58:47

YANBU, by the time I was up to DD (dc no 3) I did both, after all in life there are smooth textured food and food you chew so...

mousesma Fri 14-Jan-11 10:01:17

I've just started weaning DD and we do both purees and finger foods. I do the purees because I'm keen to get some food into her as soon as possible to see if she'll go to bloddy sleep of a night. I do the finger foods because I want to get her used to different textures of food and the idea of feeding herself.

She really enjoys both!

Glitterknickaz Fri 14-Jan-11 10:03:14

mousesma snap.... DD could gnaw at a banana or whatever whilst I spooned puree in purely to make sure she wasn't hungry! Took so long to fill herself up otherwise.

Bogeyface Fri 14-Jan-11 10:14:07

Glitter and Mouse, thats why I am thinking I will do both. Because I think it will take all day for the baby to have enough to satisfy its hunger when it is feeding itself!

Thanks for the reassurance that it works.

I was going to do it anyway but nice to know that I am not the only one!

ENormaSnob Fri 14-Jan-11 10:18:51

Yadnbu

AlwaysbeOpralFruitstome Fri 14-Jan-11 10:26:25

'The fact that we went out once when she had her bag of tricks stuffed to the gills with wet wipes, spare clothes blah blah and I just had my purse was enough to send her skyward!'

grin A women after my own heart!...you, not her. YANBU, I don't get the fuss about weaning. Offer them a variety of foods in a variety of forms, you will soon figure out what they like and what their capable of handling, them JUST DO THAT...until the move on (which they ALWAYS do...eventually). What's with all the rules? We are programmed to survive, we have to eat to do that so babies will learn when they are good and ready.....and breathe.

She sounds ever so slightly toxic and in need of extracting her head from her own sphincter. "Oh you must be lucky then" - cheeky mare, if anybody has a right to call themselves an expert it's the person with 5 (some grown) children. If she can't see that there are a variety of ways to successfully rear children then she's not as clever as she probably thinks she is!

SmethwickBelle Fri 14-Jan-11 10:37:06

YANBU, I agree.

The thing that irritates me about BLW is that it gives a name to something that people have been doing one way or another since the dawn of time and adds perceived constraints.

"Is it still BLW if I mash up the potato I give my baby?" is a query I remember from one BLW forum.

I think most people hand their children some stuff to gnaw, let them smoosh soggy stuff around their faces and mash up and spoon in some stuff too.

The only way to confuse a hungry baby is to hide his banana.

Aniyan Fri 14-Jan-11 10:54:06

OP, I'm doing the same as mousesma and glitterknickaz with DD who is 9m now.

When she was 6m I started her on purees as I had with DS 11 years ago, but she wanted 'real' food she could feed herself with from the start, so now I give her finger food and sneak in spoonfuls of mashed food at the same time to make sure she's full up.

She will sometimes take yoghurt & other things from a spoon without needing the distraction of finger food, but she definitely wants to do it herself whenever possible, which is fine by me.

I'm much more lazy laid-back this time around and happy to let DD find her own way. I've only once had to intervene and hook a lump of banana out of her mouth that she was really struggling with.

3littlefrogs Fri 14-Jan-11 11:46:06

All my children like to have a supply of spoons, a supply of finger foods, and a regular supply of something tasty on a spoon by me. Anything less resulted in howls of hunger and frustration. When their own food was gone, they would happily steal from other people's plates.......fine round the family table at home, but slightly embarrassing in a restaurant if the neighbouring table has food within easy reach. blush

3littlefrogs Fri 14-Jan-11 11:47:05

LIKED - not LIKE....they are all grown up now!

WimpleOfTheBallet Fri 14-Jan-11 11:50:32

I did both...fed DD puree and offered her bits to suck on....she is fine! Like 3lttlefrogs...she and her little sister both were fed and also offered things to hold.

Quenelle Fri 14-Jan-11 11:57:34

YANBU I don't think it has to be one or the other.

But BLW is letting the baby feed itself, that's why it's called baby-led.

What you'll be doing - if it has to be given a name - is traditional weaning, a mixture of puree and finger foods.

Or you could just call it feeding your baby how you see fit and balls to anyone else's opinion grin.

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