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AIBU in regard to exposure to chicken pox?

(105 Posts)
InWithTheITCrowd Tue 11-Jan-11 19:13:40

I'm musing here. Don't know if IABU or not.
DS = 17 months old.
Family party (DH's family) on New Year's day. DH's cousin has 2 year old son, let's call him Barry. DS and Barry played all night together - drinking out same cup, having a great time.
Next day - DH's cousin sends me a text
"Just to let you know Barry has chicken pox. We did know yesterday as he had loads of pocks, but we covered them up so none of you would be concerned. Hope you understand - we didn't want him to miss out on party. Hope your DS doesn't get it. Sorry"

On one hand - most kids are going to get chicken pox, right? and I'm told the younger the better
But on the other hand... what the hell? why would you do that? They could have at least told us so we could have made an informed decision as to whether or not we exposed DS

Anyway - DS has got chicken pox - yesterday. I'm assuming from being exposed on New Year's Day (although that is, of course, an assumption)
Bad timing with work commitments and he's JUST started at nursery, so will have to have time off and also a couple of events that we had coming up next week which will now have to be cancelled.

I want to contact DH's cousin and tell her that I think she (and her DH) were irresponsible and shouldn't have knowingly exposed us. Or should I leave it well alone?

For the record - I haven't had chicken pox before, so will be mighty miffed if I bloody get it!

InWithTheITCrowd Tue 11-Jan-11 19:14:36

And what's even worse... at the party was a 3 week old baby! I would be supremely p*ssed off if she were mine!

thisisyesterday Tue 11-Jan-11 19:15:47

hmm now I am/was the kind of person to jump at the chance of my kids getting chicken pox so it would be over and done with

BUT, I would be absolutely fuming with them! who are they to decide whether or not you all want to be exposed to it? how fucking irresponsible and selfish!

so yes, i WOULD contact her and tell her exactly what I thought of her.

BeerTricksPotter Tue 11-Jan-11 19:16:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Katz Tue 11-Jan-11 19:16:28

i think they behaved apallingly - what if you or someone else at the party had been pregnant and weren't telling. Chicken pox generally only happens once, and its not a huge hard ship having to stay home for a week in isolation. its one of my pet peeves.

bupcakesandcunting Tue 11-Jan-11 19:17:20

She is a twat. If she'd messaged everyone first to make sure they didn't mind (I wouldn't mind) it would be one thing. But taking him when she knew then having the brass neck to text you going "oh yeah we knew, just didn't want to spoil Barry's fun. Soz n that."

Twat. I would tell her she is one.

InWithTheITCrowd Tue 11-Jan-11 19:18:05

Thank goodness you've all said that
I know what you mean about getting it young and over and done with thisisyesterday - but I was just so shock at them effectively making this decision for us.
Silly buggers!

QODneystones Tue 11-Jan-11 19:18:23

Terrible thing to do - I have told lots of times of my disabled niece who is brain damaged from intentional exposure to chicken pox by her mum and aunt.
They live with daily guilt - if she'd just got it, no guilt - fate - but they did it on purpose

bupcakesandcunting Tue 11-Jan-11 19:19:07

And katz is right; what if someone was early pregnant and not telling. I would smack her out if I were preggers and she's exposed me.

purpleknittingmum Tue 11-Jan-11 19:19:51

That is bad

I caught chicken pox when I was 8 and a half months pregant from standing on a neighbours doorstep!

The midwife took a blood sample and then a week later they wanted a sample from a pox, but they had dried up a bit by then

When my daughter was about 8 months old she had shingles but I had forgotten about the connexion with that and chickin pox. She didn't seem to be in too much pain, it was just sort of scabby bits on the side of a leg

NancyDrewHasaClue Tue 11-Jan-11 19:22:43

Extremely irresponsible.

Chickenpox is extremely dangerous in children under 3 mths (I think the stats are fatal in 20%)

Although I thought chickenpox is only a risk to pregnant mums if they haven't had it themselves.

nannynobnobs Tue 11-Jan-11 19:22:55

YANBU at all. I'd be furious.

FrequentNutter Tue 11-Jan-11 19:24:21

Actually he was contagious at the time, you are contagious when the pox are out and weeping. Before that it is not contagious.

Cannot believe you are in the position you are in because of someone elses selfishness.

I would certainly say something as it is downright irresponsible.

InWithTheITCrowd Tue 11-Jan-11 19:24:33

I am really annoyed about it - but didn't know if I was being PFB-ish.
Thanks all - I'm going to call her on it definitely.

FrequentNutter Tue 11-Jan-11 19:26:25

Use camomile lotion on the open sores stops them from itching the sores scar, my son had it when we were in Tenerife when he was four. We were lucky to hide it enough to get him home.

heartofgold Tue 11-Jan-11 19:27:01

i understood it was contagious from a day before the spots come out?

onceamai Tue 11-Jan-11 19:27:38

they should have told you and given you the choice.

bupcakesandcunting Tue 11-Jan-11 19:28:51

I would text her back and say something like "Well, obviously DS is going to catch pox at some point so now is as good a time as any but think you should have said because of baby being present and what if someone else was early prg?! Not good!"

InWithTheITCrowd Tue 11-Jan-11 19:30:07

Apparently Barry's rash/spots started on New Years Eve. They starting scabbing over about 3 days after.
I spoke to my nurse-friend at the time (as was a bit concerned) and my nurse friend said he would have been contagious from a couple of days before the rash, right up until they started scabbing over.
Don't know if that's completely accurate, but that's what I was told

InWithTheITCrowd Tue 11-Jan-11 19:31:39

I'm going to phone rather than text, I think. Don't want to fall out with her, but i do want her to know how we feel

mutznutz Tue 11-Jan-11 19:33:50

That's disgusting and all cos they didn't want to miss a party FFS. I'd be fuming angry

Mind have in a tiny way got your own back by publicly calling their child 'Barry' grin

(Apologies to any Bazza's out there)

PaisleyLeaf Tue 11-Jan-11 19:35:09

I think it's up until they've finished scabbing over.

How dare they! Like someone else said, what if you'd been pregnant. Or your DS has some sort of immunity problem, or anything actually - it wasn't up to them to decide.

pollywollywoowah Tue 11-Jan-11 19:35:59

shock angry

YANBU at all.

And as for the newborn baby being there and they still didn't say anything shock shock shock shock

Imnotaslimjim Tue 11-Jan-11 19:37:16

My DS come out with pox on Christmas day, and we were close to cancelling a family reuinion dinner at MIL on boxing day because of it. Can't believe she was so selfish to not tell you til the next day. as the others said, what if there was a pregnant lady, who hadn't had them. And that little tiny baby, its a major risk at such a young age why would she take that risk?

I'm furious on your behalf so you must be steaming. I'd let her know you are annoyed tbh

Boohooyou Tue 11-Jan-11 19:37:46

I would be really pissed off, so bloody selfish just so their ds didn't miss a party!
Can't believe they were stupid enough to tell you afterwards though !

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