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to have been a little bit humiliated by this

(29 Posts)
chaya5738 Tue 11-Jan-11 15:26:06

I was sitting in a cafe yesterday when suddenly the girl next to me packs up all her books, gets up in a hurry, and moves to a table on the other side of the cafe. I got quite a fright from it because it was done so aggressively. I think because I looked up so surprised she called out across the cafe "I am sorry, it is just that I really don't want to get sick."

I had coughed (politely into my tissue) and that is what had spurred her to move.

I ended up having a laugh with her and saying I completely understood etc (I mean, I DO understand, I always HATE sitting next to someone with a cold on buses etc) but did feel quite humiliated because it was a busy but quiet cafe (everyone on laptops etc) so basically everyone heard including the guy two tables down from me who looked up.

The girl also had a North American accent, which is relevant to the extent that I think people with foreign accents usually attract more attention (I find my attention is draw to someone if they have a different accent from the usual one I hear in my town).

As way of confession, I have had the flu but it had been gone a week and, ironically, I had called the doctor's surgery to check whether I was still contagious (I teach so didn't want to pass it on). I wash my hands constantly, and use disposable tissues that I throw away almost immediately. All that was left of the flu was this dry cough. But I felt like a complete leper.

Am I being unreasonable to be a little bit humiliated?

(have to run off shortly but eagerly look forward to replies when I return)

TickettyBoo Tue 11-Jan-11 15:31:20

YANBU - I'd have been quite offended that she moved in such a flouncy way, all she had to do was quietly move places and you probably wouldn't evn have noticed! bloody drama queen lol. You should have followed her to an adjacent table haha! grin

Fenugreek Tue 11-Jan-11 15:33:12

Maybe she has a compromised immune system, or is close to someone who does, and has to be extra careful not to risk getting sick?

southeastastra Tue 11-Jan-11 15:34:36

you should have licked her

Fenugreek Tue 11-Jan-11 15:34:37

And crossing the room wouldn't achieve much anyway. I watched a brilliant, horrifying sciency programme recently about how quickly and how far coughs and colds travel in an enclosed space.

If someone sneezes in your tube carriage you are breathing it seconds later even at the far end.

Nicola246 Tue 11-Jan-11 15:36:00

She sounds like an idiot. YANBU. She should stay in her isolation booth if she wants to remain germ-free. Go back tomorrow and cough on her.

Bingtata Tue 11-Jan-11 15:37:16

pmsl at licking her

chaya5738 Tue 11-Jan-11 15:38:27

Thanks everyone

I did actually think it was pretty funny that she moved tables to one where some people had just left. They could very well have coughed on their hands and then wiped them on the table. And even touching the cafe door could mean that you touch other's germs.

It was really odd. She may have a compromised immune system but you'd think people who do wouldn't want to draw attention to themselves such a "flouncy way" (I love that expression, btw)

scurryfunge Tue 11-Jan-11 15:39:37

Maybe she has a fear of illness. She was probably being over dramatic about it but at least you spoke about it with her. There are lots of swine flu scare stories in the media at the moment and maybe she has an unrealistic view of what is likely to seriously harm her.

TickettyBoo Tue 11-Jan-11 15:40:01

Still pmsl at "lick her"!

chaya5738 Tue 11-Jan-11 15:40:05

Heh, licking her would have been pretty funny...

Interestingly though, DD didn't get the flu when I had it. So it would be odd if the girl sitting next to me in the cafe still managed to. Unless DD has some superhuman immune system

NotQuiteCockney Tue 11-Jan-11 15:47:09

I'd assume she either has some sort of immune system issue, or has a psychological issue about getting ill. Either way - nothing to take personally.

Saltatrix Tue 11-Jan-11 15:47:56

She had books, was young and foreign sounds like a student to me likely she has exams soon (since were in January) and can't afford to be ill.

That being said moving across the room won't help that much (depending on the size of the place ofc).

BeerTricksPotter Tue 11-Jan-11 16:05:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BarbarianMum Tue 11-Jan-11 16:09:19

YANBU (but your post did make me laugh).

2 summers ago when swine flu was at its height I had 1/2 a bus-full of people politely but desperately trying to get as far away from me as possible because I kept sneezing. Eventually I had to stand up and reassure them that it was just hayfever.

allfurcoatandnoknicks Tue 11-Jan-11 16:11:33

Pmsl what a silly twat, i doubt moving a few feet away would make much of a difference!!

ValiumTinselton Tue 11-Jan-11 16:11:37

wow, unless she's just had chemo or something that is so drammmmm

BalloonSlayer Tue 11-Jan-11 16:12:07

She may have had OCD. I used to have it (not about cold germs) and would probably have done something as bizarre had you done something that triggered my anxieties.

I once wiped my cat down with a disinfectant cloth because my Dad had been stroking her and he never washed his hands EVER. grin

God I am so relieved I am not like that any more. It's like torture.

WimpleOfTheBallet Tue 11-Jan-11 16:12:09

She may have OCD...I am a bit nuts over cautious about things when people near me cough or sneeze...

WimpleOfTheBallet Tue 11-Jan-11 16:13:50

Oops...X Posts with BalloonSlayer! I remember you coming on a thread with me once BS....where you said about your cat...I totally understand your actions.

I won't use the first polythene bag from the dispenser in Tescos incase the person in front liked their fingers.

strawberrycake Tue 11-Jan-11 16:13:59

OOoo I'm so familiar with this. I have super-allergy baby coughing mucus everywhere all day. I am the leper of baby groups/ cafes. I am thinking of getting a 'I'm not contagious, just allergic to life many things' t-shirt for him to get a break from tutting mums hastily moving across rooms with their pfbs away from us.

WimpleOfTheBallet Tue 11-Jan-11 16:14:39

But I've never disenfected my cat! grin

ValiumTinselton Tue 11-Jan-11 16:15:40

/that's true. I used to be a bit funny about gas. I couldn't help it. if a room where there was a meeting (eg) had an old gas cooker I would be hyperventilating until I really didn't know if I felt funny because I was hyperventilating or because there was a poisonous gas leak. I'm 95% over it but still don't like gas heating.

TitsalinaBumSquash Tue 11-Jan-11 16:18:16

Rofl I licked my sister when I had the flu... she caught it but she was around me for ages when I had it... she was moaning about germs so I licked her arm... were childish like that. grin

PlanetLizard Tue 11-Jan-11 16:26:01

YANBU, but don't take it personally.

Not very polite that she wasn't even concerned that you were "sick".

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