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To hate living in Manchester (and North in general)

(920 Posts)
ILikeMilk Tue 11-Jan-11 13:16:12

Moved here four years ago to be with DH, and I still cannot get used to it. We are in a nicest area of Manchester, and it is still feels very provincial and boring. I dream about living in London, but DH does not want to look for a new job. I feel like there is no point and don’t want to decorate the house, make friends, etc, I just fantasise about being in London every single day. There is not much to do here, no nice streets or galleries, not much to do on the weekends as a family. I went to London this weekend, it was so painful to come back. Does anybody else feel this way?

notwavingjustironing Tue 11-Jan-11 14:09:33

is your DH a footballer?

Go on, honestly tell us what you did in London that's so top banana that you couldn't do it in our beloved grim Northern city.

We've got farmers markets and everything doncha know?

ILikeMilk Tue 11-Jan-11 14:09:48

They are primary and a toddler ages.

Bunbaker Tue 11-Jan-11 14:10:07

"ffs Sainsburys stock polenta. It's not exactly exotic."
No, it's utterly tasteless! Eeh by gum. I can even buy polenta in Barnsley!!!

JonahB Tue 11-Jan-11 14:10:09

Is it worth thinking about the root cause of your unhappiness. You mentioned earlier that Hale mummies aren't v friendly. Is the issue that you're struggling to make a life for yourself and a circle of friends there? If that's the case, i could understand your unhappiness, but that would be the issue that needs to be tackled, not the lack of children's activities or lack of nice shopping streets. Just a thought.....

diddenhepths Tue 11-Jan-11 14:10:25

Nowhere will ever have as much as London because the bottom line is London is a capital city and none of the other cities are.

You sound like you're thinking you can't ever bear to be in a not-capital city because you want only the very shiniest and best and classiest of everything, whether it's art galleries or streets or bars or whatever.

If that really is all you want, then you'll have to move back to London one way or another.

I think people are right when they say you're not trying though. Not everything is better in London - there will be individual bars, individual galleries, individual places to go that are better in Manchester than anywhere else - places you can discover for yourself if you make a mental commitment to where you are.

OK, being in London is a short cut to finding lots of good stuff easily, because it's the capital - but you can't live there right now. That doesn't mean you can't go down for weekends for treats. It's only four hours away on the train and it's still your capital city even if like most people in the UK you don't live in it.

Just do what everyone else does who is British but doesn't live in London - visit your capital city when you can to enjoy the sorts of cultural etc. things you can only see there, and the rest of the time entertain yourself with what's local to your home.

Do you also have a feeling of not being where the 'beautiful people' are, I wonder? Or are there specific friends from London who seem to look down on where you are now, by any chance?

All of London is still there for you. You just have to use it in a different way. You can do that while still enjoying what you've got in Manchester too.

bumperella Tue 11-Jan-11 14:10:32

I thought kids wre SUPPOSED to get bored of going to museums, isn't there a law about it ?
Do you have any friends or social life where you are? It doesn't sound like it, in which case it isn't surprising that you're a bit bored. If you've not made any friends there, then of course you will feel more "up" to visit London and socialise with your old freinds there, than you will being in a big empty house in Hale watchign telly.
Can you move from suburban Hale to somewhere a bit livlier? OK, Hale is posh, but it is quiet family-type area and not exactly in the midst of a city "buzz". It doesn't sound like it's what you want.
What hobbies do you have? What interests? Do you make any effort to persue them?
If it really is just galleries and museums then surely you can look out new exhibitions, or find a way to get involved in something "arty"? Is easy to get to Liverpool and Leeds as well as Manchester from Hale. If it's more academia /cultural stuff in general, then how about looking out free lectures - am sure you could find something that would interest you.
Of course there are more galleries etc in London: it's bigger! But that doesn't mean there isn't any anywhere else.
I don't think this is about Manchester or the North West; it's about you and how you choose to live your life.

minxofmancunia Tue 11-Jan-11 14:10:33

You don't live in Manchester you live in a souless dull as shite nouveau riche footballers and their wives type suburb. Your attitude stinks TBH.

I live in proper south manchester loads of bars/cafes/little boutiques/little festivals/local markets etc.etc. Manchester has a very retro quirky vintage vibe and an amazing eclectic music scene. have you been to Band on the Wall, the Cornerhouse, the Whitworth, The Royal Exchange, Night and Day cafe, the Northern Quarter??? No probably not because those places are cool and probably wouldn't suit you. hmm

pleasechange Tue 11-Jan-11 14:10:59

well then tbh I can understand why they'd be bored sh*tless walking round galleries/museums on such a regular basis. Occasionally yes maybe

BluTac Tue 11-Jan-11 14:11:40

I got some polenta in morrisons shock shock

Laquitar Tue 11-Jan-11 14:11:48

allnew, yes this was the most shocking thing in the thread for me grin. I just don't get polenta.

tinierclanger Tue 11-Jan-11 14:12:05

You do sound lame. Why on earth did you choose to live in Hale (NOT Manchester) and then complain about being bored? You live in a posh suburb, of course it's boring. Time-wise you could probably get
to all that stuff you "long" for as quick as you can in London. And London is one of the greyest places I've ever been. Manchester isn't any more unless you're in some kind of time warp.

charliesmommy Tue 11-Jan-11 14:12:50

If all you do with potential new friends is bitch and moan about how shit your life is living in the area, then its no wonder that they arent making much effort.

How about changing your attitude and showing a bit of interest in your surroundings rather than being so negative.

There are some fantastic places to go and things to do up North. Get in the car and go to them.

ILikeMilk Tue 11-Jan-11 14:12:51

No, not a footballer. It is more the atmosphere of London, people being trendier, open-minded, etc. I used to feel that I fit in, but not anymore. I am a bit eccentric, but here people just find me weird. Hale crowd is too stuck up for me, more money than class.

BluTac Tue 11-Jan-11 14:12:57

I had a pie recipe where polenta was added to the pastry. It gave it a nice texture.

GooseyLoosey Tue 11-Jan-11 14:13:28

Oddly, I live near Bristol now and would say that Manchester was a more fun city with a million times more spectacular countryside around it any day of the week. I think you have got yourself into a mentality of "its grim up North" and can't get out of it.

Move out of suburbia.

TallyB Tue 11-Jan-11 14:14:03

Yes, you are being unreasonable, and snobby! The local mums probably aren't unfriendly at all, they're probably picking up on your belief that they're "very provincial and boring".

Seriously, I moved oop north too, it is different, but still good. In fact, in many ways it's better - cheaper, more open space, friendlier people, better transport.

(Never thought I'd feel the need to leap to the defence of folk that side of the Pennines shock )

valiumredhead Tue 11-Jan-11 14:15:06

Laquitar we don't have a Sainsbury's nearby! I was using that as an example of how remote where I live now is in comparison to where the OP lives.

YES polenta is vile, I made a Tescos recipe of cheesy muffin things and when I asked in Tesco for polenta they didn't stock it confused I will NOT be making them again grin

Lizzylou Tue 11-Jan-11 14:15:10

OK, so broaden your horizons, take the toddler to some baby groups in Didsbury or Chorlton.

I couldn't live in Hale without wanting to punch the rest of the residents to be fair. Such a "fake" place.

charliesmommy Tue 11-Jan-11 14:15:29

"Hale crowd is too stuck up for me"

I am seriously finding that rather hard to believe... grin

pleasechange Tue 11-Jan-11 14:15:42

I once followed a polenta recipe where you had to stir it constantly for 30 mins shock. Can't say the result was exactly worth it!

Lizzylou Tue 11-Jan-11 14:15:51

Tesco round here stock polenta, Lancashire is so cosmopolitan grin

LadyBlaBlah Tue 11-Jan-11 14:16:23

pmsl @ open minded

ILikeMilk Tue 11-Jan-11 14:17:12

Tinier, as I said, It was DH's choice. We are in late 30s, so dont fit in Ditsbury and the best schools are in our area anyway.

valiumredhead Tue 11-Jan-11 14:17:52

Lizzylou - that made me laugh! I eventually found some in waitrose, I nearly fainted at the price, an it was such a waste. Oh well! grin

LadyBlaBlah Tue 11-Jan-11 14:17:55

I know a few Hale 'mums'

They are a good laugh

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