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AIBU?

facebook again...

21 replies

shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 18:28

I know its been done before, and I have previously argued on the other side of the argument, but I am fucking LIVID!

I am no longer friends with my 12 year old cousin on FB since he decided to tell my next door neighbours I was complaining about them. Not being spiteful or anything, hes just that stupid.

As all 12 year olds have, he has about a million friends. And he has decided this week to copy pictures of my DS from my sisters account and put them on his. Without asking either her or me. She has spoken to him about it today and he is reacting as all 12 year olds would and having a strop. I am giving him chance to take them off tonight before I speak to his mother. However, there may be a problem... My uncle is the blood relative, not her, and he left her back in the autumn, so I'm concerned that she will ignore my concerns to get at my half of the family. (She has gone a tad nutty since)

Tbh, I'm one of the people who would normally argue against paranoia of paedophiles on the internet, but its mainly the PRINCIPLE of the thing. And as a 12 year old boy, surely his account will be one of those attracting the slightly dodgy people anyway. (His cousin on my aunties side actually ran off with someone she met on the internet)

Mainly just needed to vent, my dad has told me to leave him to it cause hes only a child.

OP posts:

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 10/01/2011 18:29

what the hell are you doing being friends with a 12 year old? they can't hold their water. serves you right.

MadamDeathstare · 10/01/2011 18:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutznutz · 10/01/2011 18:33

Firstly not all 12yr olds have that many friends....some parents make sure they only add people they know in real life. Secondly, if your son's photos are already on the internet, what's the problem?

dobiegirl · 10/01/2011 18:35

Now Boo, look at how many people have 16 gezbillion friends on facebook and don't even know em'.

Look at that lass who told everyone she was gonna kill erself and they basically told her to get on with it and look sharp about it!!

You can't blame Shirley for being mates with a twelve year old, maybe she can't get mates her own age, surely she's just trying to boost her numbers to make her look more popular ha ha.

Come on Shirley, sort yourself out chuck.

And Boo, a little bleedin' sympathy for the poor gal wouldn't go amiss!!!

FabbyChic · 10/01/2011 18:36

Assuming his account is set tight, no one other than those in his friends list will see the pictures, however he should have asked and if asked to remove them he should as he filched them without asking.

His age will be set to above 12 as you have to be 13 to have a FB account.

shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 18:53

Lol, thank you Dobie, you made me laugh! Just had my dad on the phone having a go at me for there being photos on there at all, he hung up on me and made me cry :(

And he does have a gazillion friends, you can see that without being his friend.

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shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 18:57

PS Even though I'm not his friend I can see the pictures as he has the album set to public

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shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 18:58

Now he is texting me saying he's "afended" that my sis wants him to take the pics off. Where the fuck did he get my number.

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RedShoesFan · 10/01/2011 19:03

PS Even though I'm not his friend I can see the pictures as he has the album set to public

I'd feel the same way as you tbh. Would be different if only his friends could see the pics.

bupcakesandcunting · 10/01/2011 19:12

Lol at "afended" Just threaten to smash his N Dubz or something. Or make a group called "xxxxxx wets the bed every night" if he will not comply.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 10/01/2011 19:19

They are your sisters photos, so she owns the copyright to them.

If she fills in this form www.facebook.com/legal/copyright.php?copyright_notice=1

they will take them down.

shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 19:28

She already has, it just seems to be taking time...

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shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 19:32

Am so annoyed at my dad worrying about his feelings over mine when hes in the wrong. And apparently any way of letting him know he is in the wrong makes me the Bad Person.

I posted on my (private) status that I didnt want anyone using my photos without my permission. No names mentioned. A reasonable request? Or not - my dad said he could be at my other cousins house (not 12yo!) and see it on her status, and know I meant him!!!

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 10/01/2011 20:46

ok first of all, i was referring to

"I am no longer friends with my 12 year old cousin on FB since he decided to tell my next door neighbours I was complaining about them. Not being spiteful or anything, hes just that stupid."

this implies she was at one point his 'friend' on FB.

and secondly, I'm shattered, sympathy is in short supply. sorry OP. I'm too tired to read through again and try and find some but I'm sure you're right.

TheSecondComing · 10/01/2011 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 21:01

Thesecondcoming, I refer you to: Tbh, I'm one of the people who would normally argue against paranoia of paedophiles on the internet, but its mainly the PRINCIPLE of the thing.

And I dont think Trisha Goddard makes shows anymore. :)

I WAS his "friend", because he is the youngest of my cousins and I was (and still am) friends with the rest of them. My family is very spread out and I use my facebook to keep in touch with them all at once. I am not a child who needs six million friends to justify my existance.

And the person he copied them from was my sister. So yes, she is still my friend.

Have I really done anything wrong? I know this is AIBU and people can be brutal, but I honestly dont see what I've done that was?

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shirleyhyypia · 10/01/2011 21:04

I would have thought a 12 year old would know that stealing pictures from someone without their permission was a tad dodgy. However there wasnt anything I could do about it beforehand, short of not being his "friend" and having a private profile.

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mommmmyof2 · 10/01/2011 21:24

I am confused where has he stolen the photos from? your sisters facebook album?
If that is the case and hers are private to only friends and that is how he gained access then he is naughty, and you have the right to not want just anyone looking at them.
But if your sister does have an album where anyone can see then they will already be public.But from now on can you ask anyone who is friends with him and you and may have any pictures you may not want him to steel again, just ask them to block him.
Your dad should calm down too :)

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 10/01/2011 21:29

are you serious? a 12 year old has no concept of ownership of a photo. a photo on a public website is ublic property as far asa 12 year old is concerned.

you are talking like he has an adult brain. he hasn't he is a child. and yes if you are friends with a 12 year old, then you have to expect that they will behave liek a 12 year old. tehy don't know that something you say on a public website shouldn't be said to mr X, mrs Y and Miss Z. teh fact taht he is family doesn't mean he will behave like an adult. you don't have to be friends with all your family you know.

shirleyhyypia · 11/01/2011 08:57

Okay I see that I probably am viewing it as him being an adult rather than a child, esp as I was a lot more mature than him at the same age.

But surely he is still the person who is in the wrong and deserves to be told so, even if as a child he didnt think it was wrong in the first place? He needs to know not to do it again, with anyone elses photos? My dad wants me to drop it completely and let him leave the pics on there. If I had done anything like that as a child, my dad wouldnt have ignored it then.

And just to clarify, my sisters profile is private. He was her friend at the time so had access to her photos. He isnt now, so cant do it again.

TBH while I'm irritated with him, today I'm mostly upset by my parents reaction to it. He is a naughty child, they should not be taking his "side". Should they??

Am I completely missing something??????

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 11/01/2011 09:32

yes he does need to be told to remove the photos and his mum should be the one doing it and explaining why.

what i just couldn't understand was you outrage at a child. yes it was wrong of him, as an adult we know boundaries WRT photo sharing etc, as a child he had yet to learn that lesson, and we all know the best way to learn a lesson is to get something wrong in the first place. cut him some slack, his immaturity and lack of sense on this isn't his fault. it will all come with age and experience. reserve your anger for those that intentionlly set out to upset.

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