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That siblings can't get on *at all*?

(13 Posts)
Misfitless Mon 10-Jan-11 08:39:27

My 2 middle DCs (boy aged 5, girl aged 3) are constantly bickering and trying to outdo each other in the who-can-be-meanest competition, or so it seems and has done for weeks and weeks.
They really wind each other up with both are as guilty as each other.

Have resorted to naughty step but hasn't worked so when done dishes I am going to sit down with them and make reward charts - have told them that when they are kind to eacher other they will get two stars (a brucie bonus!) and for all other brilliant and good behaviour they will get one.

This night do the trick, but in the meantime, am I letting it get to me too much? It's not the agro of sorting their arguments out or having to reprimand them thats upsetting me, but rather that my (*probably unrealistic*) vision of my lovely big, noisy family with my rosy cheeked kids would be mates and be happy together most of the time.

Somebody tell me to stop being so wet and get a grip if IABU

Stop being so wet and get a grip, kids have fought since time begun, heck sstone age kids were probably sent to the naughty rock for fighting over who had the most stones or somesuch wink

FabbyChic Mon 10-Jan-11 08:56:44

Close siblings always fight, my brother and sister fought until they were 16.

coolascucumber Mon 10-Jan-11 09:01:30

My two oldest have been horrible together since infancy (now 14 and 11), once in a blue moon peace breaks out and they are lovely together.

What I hold on to is the memory of the oldest one diving under the boat to free his sister after she was trapped in ropes when the boat capsized. Not exaggerating, he saved her life. They were nice to each other for about three days after that.

Try and ignore some of the horrible things they are saying/doing for your own sanity and distract them with lots of time in the fresh air. Like dogs, mine are always better after they have been exercised!

I think I found some good advice in a book called 'Siblings without rivalry' but have now forgotten most of it.

Misfitless Mon 10-Jan-11 09:35:08

Lol thanks toastie!
It's hard work, you know, having this perfect picture in my head and then realising that life can never quite live up to.
Hang on a minute...have just realised that the problem lies not with DCs but with me - I've only gone and put my clear spectacles on. Somebody pass me my rose tinted ones immediately and all will be well with my world!

kktpj Mon 10-Jan-11 09:51:34

agree completely with coolascucumber
we have twin boys n their sister is 20 mths older - they fight 90% of time - we do have rare moments of heaven
we're now trying a 12 year gap with a new brother
early days yet but I reckon they'll still fight!

3Of1And1OfTheOther Mon 10-Jan-11 10:27:04

I have 4 and my 2 youngest- girl and boy fight constantly about anything and everything-where they sit in the car,who can read the best,who had one more crisp in their packet than the other. The list is endless and it drives me insane!!!

MargaretGraceBondfield Mon 10-Jan-11 10:33:34

My oldest two battle a lot, they're both boys and 14 months apart. when I've really had enough I ban them from being in the same room together!

We also tried, which worked, family kindness chart. Everytime that someone was kind to someone else they got a sticker, about the size of an old half pence, they got to stick this on an A4 bit of paper. When it was filled we went to the Natural history Museum!! I'm not really that wanky but it did work!

Chil1234 Mon 10-Jan-11 10:34:56

I'm going to print out this thread and give it to my mother next time she sighs ' Poor little DGS. It's such a shame he's an only child.....' grin

missmehalia Mon 10-Jan-11 10:43:47

My sister and I pretty much hated each other (though there were rare moments of harmony when we had the same interests). Then she moved out to go to uni and seemed to make an effort to maintain contact with me. Which I enjoyed!

And now we are adults we are great mates.

I think it's normal. If they each have the same amount of time with you and/or DH every day (story/watch telly/chat/play games) individually to try and keep their relationships with you sweet, they may try harder to please you (not sibling) sometimes. Other than that, not sure there's much you can do! At least some conflict is v, v normal.

There's always 'divide and rule', of course. (Keep them separate). Or tell them off together, and then put them together doing some horrid job so they are cross with you for 10 mins and forget about disliking each other! Ha ha ha...

Misfitless Mon 10-Jan-11 10:53:38

Chil - excellent idea - if that doesn't work send her round to my house. Half and hour with my gang should do the trick.

Misme - excellent idea being united against me grin! That's the way it should be really - partners in crime, not sucking up to me all the time and trying to get sibling in trouble.

TitsalinaBumSquash Mon 10-Jan-11 10:56:30

Me and my sisters faought like cat and dog, were really close now. smile

Grandmar Mon 10-Jan-11 13:51:33

I was idealistic and got a shock.
When I told them all off, they all united and focused all their hate on me it was lovely.

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