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AIBU?

To think that families would employ a male nanny?

113 replies

midori1999 · 06/01/2011 19:38

DS1 wants to work with children in some way or other. One of the thing she has considered is working in a nursery and I suggested he look into nannying too maybe. (he is nearly 15, so it's a while until he has to decide properly yet)

DH was in the room and immediately said he thought most people might think a male nanny was a bit weird and not want to employ . I disagree.

Who is BU?

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arentfanny · 06/01/2011 19:39

If I had the money to employ a nanny/au pair then would comsider a male one over a female one.

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MoonUnitAlpha · 06/01/2011 19:40

I have known a couple of male nannies - there are nanny agencies who deal exclusively in "mannies" so there must be quite a market for them.

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mutznutz · 06/01/2011 19:41

"Mannies"?? FFS I just spat my coffee out Grin

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Eglu · 06/01/2011 19:42

Of course they would. Nannynick on here is a great example.

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scurryfunge · 06/01/2011 19:45

I have employed male au pairs in the past. Not quite a nanny but the demand is still there.

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Memoo · 06/01/2011 19:47

I would, especially being the mother of a DS

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NorbertDentressangle · 06/01/2011 19:50

I read an article about male nannies once. IIRC the women interviewed had often opted for a male nanny to have a positive male role model for the children (especially sons) if the fathers were absent.

They raved about how active and involved the 'mannies' were, how the children loved them- all very positive (but only the experiences of a few families obviously).

IME males in childcare my DC have experienced have always been very popular.

There was a young 16/17 year old lad on placement at DS's nursery years ago and the children thought he was great. At DD's pre-school there was 50+ supervisor/worker who DD didn't stop talking about. He was extremely popular with the children.

So, yes, your DH is being unreasonable.

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OldAndUngraceful · 06/01/2011 19:50

There's definitely a market for male nannies.

For example, some single mums worry about their sons lacking a relationship with positive role models, so they might specifically look for a qualified male nanny who can somewhat fulfill that role, at least to some extent.

Some children may also benefit from doing more outdoorsy, sporty type activities which a male nanny might be more inclined to do ('might', I know some female nannies are sporty outdoorsy types too).

Some married mums might feel uneasy about hiring female help because they'd feel insecure...

So I wouldn't say your dh is being U, he probably just doesn't realise that there's a market out there for male nannies.

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AuntiePickleBottom · 06/01/2011 19:50

i wouldn't even bat an eye lid about a male nursery worker.

i wish there was more men out there willing to do this.

my dd starts playgroup in september and there is a male worker there :)

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GoldFrakkincenseAndMyrrh · 06/01/2011 19:56

DH is definitely unreasonable.

Male nannies can earn an absolute packet if they go overseas as well!

However....as with anyone wanting to get into nannying at the moment a qualification in childcare is essential, at least the new Diploma for the Children's workforce, and I would strongly urge him to consider a foundation degree in Early Years or a degree in education with the possibility of taking the shortened pathway to EYFS. Discrimination shouldn't exist but it does and qualifications go a long way towards making someone a more attractive candidate and diminishing the importance of their gender.

He should start building experience now with babysitting and holiday jobs working in a domestic setting with children if he's serious about that as experience counts for a lot.

Sports coaching qualifications make male nannies stand out too.

Try finding nannynick and messaging him.

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plupervert · 06/01/2011 20:10

I was very pleased S's nursery had a male carer, as I considered it very progressive.

A former boss also worked in a nursery at one point, before switching profession, and he is a lovely father. I didn't just like him for this, but it seemed that he was much less hung up on his ego than some of the twats around us, and I respected him much more!

Why should boys/men be discriminated against for having caring instincts, and be forced to repress those? I love the fact that my DS has been kissing the sore spot on my finger. He is a sweet boy, and I hope he will be a sweet man, too.

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spikeycow · 06/01/2011 20:18

Yeah I wouldn't care. I'd want a nanny who genuinely loved children, male or female

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southeastastra · 06/01/2011 20:19

would also look at other options, think once children reach 5 the male influences can be lacking quite a bit

he could look at youth work/afterschool/playschemes etc

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midori1999 · 06/01/2011 20:19

Thankyou for the replies. I am not sure what the career path for someone wishing to be a nanny would be, but he has also expressed a possible interest in teaching, so I will advise him to speak to someone relevant at school/arrange to go in with him to do so so he can be clearer about what he wants to do and know how to achieve it. He is very intelligent but hasn't been overly motivated at school recently so I am also hoping more direction might motivate him more.

He is a very caring and thoughtful boy. He always helps out with his younger siblings (the youngest has Downs Syndrome) and often babysits a neighbours children who can be rather difficult (even their nursery struggle with them) but DS seems to have a knack with them and they are never any trouble for him.

I think working with children is something he'll really enjoy and would be good at.

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schoolsecretary · 06/01/2011 21:34

If he wants to see whether teaching is his thing then I suggest a visit to his old primary school and speak to some of the staff there. We have loads of ex pupils come back for work experience to see if teaching is for them, if primary has a nursery even better, ask to do the session there. Men in primary education are like gold dust.

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plupervert · 06/01/2011 22:04

There was a thread a while ago, about the career progression issues for nannies, which might give you and your DS some food for thought, here. I hope it is a helpful starting point.

Best wishes.

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tablefor3 · 06/01/2011 22:15

Just another chiming in to say that DD1's key worker is a bloke and she luuurrvvess him! (We like him too.)

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Laquitar · 06/01/2011 22:46

OP, there is a regular poster on cm/nannies section who is a male nanny and gives good advice on childcare issues. Many of us would love to employ him.
His nickname is nannynick and perhaps you/your son could ask him about his experiences and opinion on this.

(i hope Nannynick doesn't mind me doing this)

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BuzzLightBeer · 06/01/2011 22:51

If I had a nanny, which I won't because I'm so poor devoted to my children, I'd totally have a man for my 3 boys, without a doubt.

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MogTheForgetfulCat · 06/01/2011 22:56

I would, definitely - partly because have 2 (and soon to be 3) DSs. DH is very much present, but I still think it's good for young children to be exposed to other male role models.

Drives me crackers that so much early years childcare and primary level teaching etc is so very female-dominated in this country. A male friend of mine used to be a nursery nurse, the kids just adored him. DS1 goes to after-school club once a week where his key worker is a man - DS1 loves him, and he is just fab. And his primary school has just recruited its second male teacher, yay! Otherwise, all the children at his school see is swathes of (admittedly lovely, talented and committed) female teachers, and a male headteacher - but of course. (Sorry, slight soapbox moment - but really think that ideally there should be a better gender mix among the teachers, and more female heads!)

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ohnoshedittant · 06/01/2011 22:58

There are jobs out there for male nannies def, although I think (unfortunately) sexism is still rife in childcare/nannying and he may encounter a bit of discrimination along the way. I hope he doesn't let that put him off though!

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LovelyJudy · 06/01/2011 23:01

you could encourage him to do american summer camp leader type activities in a couple of years. my step nephew (!?) coached football in the states and had a brilliant experience.

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Lynli · 06/01/2011 23:06

My nephew is a nursery nurse, he said he has never had any problems with disgrimination.

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Lynli · 06/01/2011 23:07

discrimination

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Maisiethemorningsidecat · 06/01/2011 23:11

There is a male nursery nurse at my son't nursery - he's utterly fantastic, and if I could afford to employ him as our nanny I would! I wish more men would go into teaching or childcare - boys don't have nearly enough role models in the education system. Good luck to your son - tell him to go for it (and tell your DH to zip it!)

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