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to feel my friends are fucking hypocrites and need to get a life

(46 Posts)
twinkletweeter Wed 05-Jan-11 23:10:30

DD's best mates friends parents so not exactly my mates. They are on my FB as that seems to be the easiest way to communicate for them.

She gave up work 3 years ago as a lunchtime supervisor when her mum was diagnosed with Alziemers to become her full time registered carer even though she went into a home shortly after.

Her husband was then made redundant shortly after and she said they were better off on her carers allowance and him doing odd jobs cash in hand and claiming whatever they are entitled to claim.

This eve when I looked at my FB her and he and their 11 Yr old daughter who all seem to spend the entire eve updating their FB status till 11am hmm on separate computers have just been constantly been slagging off the guy on Britains fattest man and how money he is costing the tax payer....of which they aren't.

WTF?

dizzeelizzee Wed 05-Jan-11 23:12:34

I think you need to get a life and not be watching your dd's best mates friends family on facebook!!! grin

QuintessentialShadows Wed 05-Jan-11 23:12:42

What is your point?

FabbyChic Wed 05-Jan-11 23:12:49

Ha ha ha the hypocrisy, she is not entitled to the carers allowance if the mother is in a home!

QuintessentialShadows Wed 05-Jan-11 23:15:00

Do you know how much carers allowance is?

To be honest, Alzheimers is such a cruel disease, and such a full time job, they had probably been pretty busy with her for YEARS prior to both diagnosis, carers allowance awarded, and her moving into a home. And it does not end there.....

PaisleyLeaf Wed 05-Jan-11 23:16:07

Carer's allowance while her mum's in a home? confused

melpomene Wed 05-Jan-11 23:16:15

She may or may not be entitled to carers allowance. It would depend on how the mother's care is being funded, and of course on whether she is still spending time looking visiting and looking after the mother. She may be spending hours visiting her every day.

Goblinchild Wed 05-Jan-11 23:17:58

They need to get a life?

twinkletweeter Wed 05-Jan-11 23:18:11

Not watching they are just on there constantly whenever I log in. I did hide them but then it meant my DD couldn't get in touch.

BuzzLightBeer Wed 05-Jan-11 23:22:42

teach your dd how to use a phone and get a life for yourself.

QuintessentialShadows Wed 05-Jan-11 23:23:22

But on some level I do get your point.

I am too proud to claim this allowance for my OWN mums care, and I know I would get it. But we are ok. We have a decent salary and dont go without.

Hopefully my mum will soon be in a home, where she can get the 24/7 round the clock care that she needs. sad It is such a bloody battle to get there though. Now we have to go through a 2 week in-care assessment, and getting an old lady who does not realize she is ill, to go to a carehome for 2 weeks, is no mean feat.

Just today she was happily tootling along, saying how good it is that she is keeping so well, at her age. (76).

Yeah right. Throws dishcloths in the bin because they are dirty. Puts rubbish in her drawers because she does not know what to do with it. Shouts at the coffee maker/breadmaker/dishwasher/washing machine because they are all faulty. She does not realize it is HER. She does not remember how to use them. sad She does not realize that ham should not be green. She does not recognize a carton of milk. She does not recognise her own home, from the outside, even if she has lived there for 50 years. She tells me on the phone that I was just in her kitchen, and I was 18 years old, slim and beautiful. She talk to the little girl at the dinner table. What girl? Me? When I was young? Does she see me now? Does she see us both at the same time? She confuses her husband with his late brother. My dad hides his tears.

I have the utmost sympathy for anybody in a similar position.

Your dds friends parents, how long do you think they had lived with this illness in their family, before the old lady got a place in a home?

Why are they not entitled to use facebook and comment on what they see on tv?

twinkletweeter Wed 05-Jan-11 23:23:51

She used to go round for an hr a day when she was the carer. I know that because she said it on FB she now pops in twice a week to the home and writes on FB how awful it is hmm

RealityIsShaggingWithIntent Wed 05-Jan-11 23:24:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dizzeelizzee Wed 05-Jan-11 23:27:42

I think you are being very judgemental when you dont know the details other than what is posted on fb.

NormaStanleyFletcher Wed 05-Jan-11 23:28:02

Quint my lovely sad

<<manly pat on shoulder>>

QuintessentialShadows Wed 05-Jan-11 23:29:14

You think I go on and on to acquaintances or my kids friends about the horrors of it all, and how much time I really spend?

Do you think it is easy to visit your parent in a care home? To not be recognized? Or shouted at? Some care homes restrict visiting because it upsets the patient too much. My uncle has alzheimer too, and relatives have been asked to not phone him, it is better for him if we don't.

Why is it any of your business? Let them be. Focus on yourself. Read a good book, or something. It will do you good.

twinkletweeter Wed 05-Jan-11 23:29:24

It's not the Alziemers thing that has annoyed me. It's their disgust at the overweight guy in Tv when she cares for her mum and her partner works cash in hand and gets benefits.

mutznutz Wed 05-Jan-11 23:29:27

Oh really, can't you take up a different passtime like curtain twitching or something? hmm

mutznutz Wed 05-Jan-11 23:30:13

If you feel that strongly then report them for benefit fraud.

BeerTricksPotter Wed 05-Jan-11 23:31:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dizzeelizzee Wed 05-Jan-11 23:32:02

SO her mum has alziemers and has had to go into a home and her husband has been made redundant?

The utter bastards hmm

twinkletweeter Wed 05-Jan-11 23:32:15

I speak to them often other than on FB.

QuintessentialShadows Wed 05-Jan-11 23:33:32

thanks guys.

rant over.

Tomorrow I have to tell my dad about my meeting with the manager of the care home today, and their action plan going forward. I am so dreading it. For an old man, who is stuck in a wheelchair, paralysed, loves his wife, he finds it hard to come to terms with her illness, he now faces living alone, as he is too WELL for a care-home, whereas his wife who has cared for him the last 8 years, is a total fruitloop. I want to go and hide under a rock.

Now off to bed.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Wed 05-Jan-11 23:33:41

hiding them from your feed does not stop your DD contacting them confused

dizzeelizzee Wed 05-Jan-11 23:34:54

(((quint))) sad

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