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should i let my son go

(17 Posts)
meltonmum Tue 04-Jan-11 21:11:58

ive got a 38 month old boy and my ex partner has moved out. he see's him every weekend but he wont tell me where he is living ! i know he has moved in with a new partner after only 6 weeks of knowing her but he will not tell me anything !! should i still let my son go with him or should i demand the address details from him...

clumsymumluckybaby Tue 04-Jan-11 21:13:47

i would need to know where my dc's were...but i have no idea what legal rights you have,sorry,not much use was i?!blush

clumsymumluckybaby Tue 04-Jan-11 21:14:26

oh, YADNBU!!!

Goblinchild Tue 04-Jan-11 21:14:32

Of course you need to know where your son is, does your ex think you are going to turn up and cause a scene?
Is the split very recent?

charliesmommy Tue 04-Jan-11 21:14:47

I wouldnt let someone take my dog if I didnt know where they lived, never mind my child.

Supposing you had an accident while your child was with these people? How would anyone find them to let them know.

xfirsttimemummyx Tue 04-Jan-11 21:14:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

curlymama Tue 04-Jan-11 21:16:22

I wouldn't let my child go, but if your ex wanted to push it and take you to court for not letting ds go, he would probably not do badly.

2cats2many Tue 04-Jan-11 21:16:44

I would not only demand the address, I would also demand to know who would be staying in the house while my son was there.

charliesmommy Tue 04-Jan-11 21:17:05

Do you know where his parents live? If it is local, then insist on him having the child there.

FabbyChic Tue 04-Jan-11 21:17:05

Agree with the others, initially his new partner should not be part of your child's life there is no way of knowing which way the relationship will go.

Also you do need to know where he is and with whom all the time.

You are entitled to know, if you were never married he has no automatic right anyway to any access.

LetThereBeRock Tue 04-Jan-11 21:17:27

There's not a chance that I'd let him go when he isn't willing to let you know where he's living.

Moving a partner in so soon when he has a young child to look after would be another major issue for me.

meltonmum Tue 04-Jan-11 21:20:32

we split about 6 months ago after he was very controling and was shouting at my other 2 children 15 and 8.... i hate him so much all he does is moan about our son being dirty when collected (slight mark on face) he says i dont care about our son and im sure by law he should t be telling me where he lives.....

LetThereBeRock Tue 04-Jan-11 21:23:26

It doesn't seem like he cares all that much about your son,when he won't even tell his mother where he'll be residing,and when he's moved his new partner in after just six weeks,without a thought as to the possible impact on his son.

CardyMow Tue 04-Jan-11 21:28:29

Actually, your ex HAS to give you the address of where he will be staying with your dc, and if he went to court he would be told that by the judge. (Unless he can prove that you will harass him/his new partner - and the onus is on him to prove that via previous actions). YANBU.

The partner issue is neither here nor there, you have no legal control over that one unfortunately.

Fabbychic, you are wrong on that one. If your child's birth was registered on or after the 4th December 2003, and the child's father's name is on the birth certificate, then they automatically have PR (parental responsibility), and in fact, could have the child for an 'access' visit and refuse to send them home, as they have equal rights over the child. And that is the case whether the parents were married or not at the time of the birth being registered.

I always advise seeing a family law solicitor in cases where unmarried parents are separating, you can usually get the first half hour free. If there is any risk or worry of the non-resident parent 'keeping' the child after an access visit, then I would look into getting a residency order or a shared care order via the solicitors.


meltonmum Tue 04-Jan-11 21:29:09

all i have is a mobile number and now a landline number thats all... i dont care where he lives but just incase i think i would like to know.. his parents live 75 miles away so no chance of them having him.

textfan Tue 04-Jan-11 21:33:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

meltonmum Thu 06-Jan-11 18:36:56

thanks for all the replys !

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