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aibu to be pissed off that dd1 has 'gone veggie' on a whim

(167 Posts)
TheSecondComing Mon 03-Jan-11 12:16:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mutznutz Mon 03-Jan-11 12:18:15

She's 16...surely you can tell her that if she wants to become veggie she can cook her own meals?

coldtits Mon 03-Jan-11 12:19:08

Hand her a vegetarian cookbook and her share of the food budget and let her sort it out herself.

backwardpossom Mon 03-Jan-11 12:20:21

I did this to my mum when I was 14 - she told me if I wanted to eat vegetarian I would have to cook for myself. I stayed a meat eater...

Vallhala Mon 03-Jan-11 12:22:27

At 16 she's old enough to take some responsibility for her own meals. I'd be inclined to say - "Right, pop into Sainsburys and buy some veggie food and on Monday and Thursday next week you can cook it for the family - we'll all eat veggie food and I/DH/other children will do the washing up".

That way you avaid the hassle of trying to cook different meals for different people or trying to cook for the rest of the family whilst DD cooks a seperate meal under your feet.

Don't be too complacent that this is just a whim though - I became veggie as a teenager, it was dismissed as a whim but now I'm in my 40's, have never eaten meat fowl or flesh since and am now vegan!

TheSecondComing Mon 03-Jan-11 12:22:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chil1234 Mon 03-Jan-11 12:23:47

YANBU to not want to cook different meals for different family members. You're her mother, not a short-order chef. There's nothing wrong with veggie main meals for the whole family... we love Veggie Chilli, Mushroom Curries and Beanburgers with Salad in our house and no-one's veggie here! If she doesn't like what's on offer and thinks she can live on cheese sandwiches, she'll quickly find vegetarian life isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Chil1234 Mon 03-Jan-11 12:26:09

"If she's not 'monitored' then she doesn't eat breakfast etc "

Be careful then because 'vegetarian' is often a way to cover up an eating disorder. It's easy to turn down meals on the basis that it's against your principles rather than because you've got more general food issues.

TrillianAstra Mon 03-Jan-11 12:26:20

So you're saying that your 16 year old wants to be veggie but wouldn't eat if you didn't cook for her?

Sounds like something more serious is going on, does she have other food issues?

Either that or she's being a spoilt little madam and needs to be reminded that in a couple of years she could be off at university or living on her own and will need to know how to feed herself.

Folicacid Mon 03-Jan-11 12:26:44

It could be a whim or it could be a long term way of life. You don't know that yet. You are not being U about cooking separate meals so your daughter should learn to cook her own.

I went veggie as a teenager for a while but did get bored. Easy food she could make would be baked pots and salad, veggie bolognese, veggi chilli with quorn mince etc. Potato and spinach curries easy and good too.

See where it goes but if your daughter will stick to it she really does need to cook her own, it's not fair on you.

TrillianAstra Mon 03-Jan-11 12:27:11

Eating breakfast is overrated by the way - lots of people don't like to eat when they have just woken up - missing lunch as well is a bad sign.

Goblinchild Mon 03-Jan-11 12:28:16

Time for her too cook her own meals if you are not having a vegetarian choice. She can decide what she's making in advance and you can add the ingredients to your shopping list.
A good, simple cookbook is a great idea.
Eggs, cheese, nuts, seeds, tofu are what I use to make up the protein elements.
If it's a whim, it will fade. If it's a real lifestyle choice, she needs to know what the choices are, and take some responsibility.

theevildead2 Mon 03-Jan-11 12:29:25

I became a veg on my birthday at 14. Still one nearly 14 years later. Birthday, new years good time to start something you had been planning for a while.

SHe may not have mentioned it if she was worried she couldnt stick to it and thought she's be teased. If it is a whim it won't last. If it isn't she'll get bored of eating toast and rice and teach herself to cook.

bubbleymummy Mon 03-Jan-11 12:29:40

Does she like eggs? Omelettes and quiches are quick and easy.

sixlostmonkeys Mon 03-Jan-11 12:29:46

why make her feel bad about this? She is showing she has her own mind and a bit of encouragement and help from her parent is surely a good thing?
Cooking veggie food is no big deal. It is so easy now with all the range of substitutes etc. Get a cook book and enjoy this as part of the family. Remember, you can eat 'veggie' food too, so meals can be very simple really when you think about it.

mutznutz Mon 03-Jan-11 12:30:04

"She wouldn't cater for herself"

I'm sure she would if she was hungry wink

It's easy to have whims/fads/whatever when at 16 Mummy is willing to pander to them.

You're not running a restaurant there...if she wants to eat differently then let her cook for herself. If anything it will teach her the responsibility of feeding herself. Some 16yr olds are mothers living alone who have all sorts of responsibilities and no-one to run after them.

Goblinchild Mon 03-Jan-11 12:30:06

Too slow posting, it does seem as if she has other eating issues. How much exercise does she get in a week, is she bothered about her weight?

theevildead2 Mon 03-Jan-11 12:30:36

Btw at 16 it won't hurt her to learn to cook anyway. You wont be able to feed her forever!

Butterbur Mon 03-Jan-11 12:30:49

"she doesn't like vegetables, beans, pulses,lentils, fruit, meat replacements"

That doesn't leave many sources of protein tbh. Only eggs, cheese and tofu, which I bet she won't like either. And cheese is very high fat, so not good to eat in large quantities.

It's also worrying that she has to be reminded about breakfast AND lunch, or she won't eat. Are you sure she doesn't have an eating disorder and this vegetarian thing is another facet of it?

Time for a serious discussion I think.

Shimmerysilverglitterybaubles Mon 03-Jan-11 12:31:11

Well I went vegetarian on a 'whim' and stayed one for 7 years. Seriously considering it again actually.

YunoYurbubson Mon 03-Jan-11 12:32:57

Agree with those sayingbbe careful it is not a red flag for more serious food issues going on.

Every friend I have with an eating disorder started off by becoming vegetarian. Or developing a wheat intolerance.

More practical help: my mum always cooked for me (veggie) and the rest of my meat eating family by making one of the vegetables more substantial.

Sausages with a lentil side dish.

Or a big veggie dish with some meat on the side for those who wanted it.

TheSecondComing Mon 03-Jan-11 12:33:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

borderslass Mon 03-Jan-11 12:34:27

DD2[15] has been vegetarian for nearly 3 years although it would of been longer if i'd let her, you have to get through to her that she needs a varied diet.DD2 lives on veg and pasta and has recently started taking supplements as I was concerned for her health, as she is always ill.

Goblinchild Mon 03-Jan-11 12:35:47

I've been veggie for over 30 years, but my family isn't. So I either do a main vegetarian, with a side of meat or vice versa.
I do love cooking, and I will only buy ethically-sourced meat.

Vallhala Mon 03-Jan-11 12:35:59

""If she's not 'monitored' then she doesn't eat breakfast etc "

I don't eat breakfast either! It's not compulsory, in fact, it's vile!

Only you know if she has issues with food which need to be considered or whether she's just lazy and willing to let you cook for her because she knows that you will.

If it's the latter then a veggie cookbook and directions to Sainsburys are in order IMHO. She'll learn fast enough when her chef isn't catering for her! wink

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