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(21 Posts)
Kitsichick Mon 03-Jan-11 12:10:29

My DH is one of the type built like a whippet and can eat anything and not POW.
He is also ten years younger than me.
I am five eleven and twekve stone- used to be nine and a half. I have been struggling with my weight since dx with RA after a car accident when I oculdn't work, exercise or get about easily. It took a while to find the right drugs combo but they have affected my metabolism. All over Xmas I have NOT indulged at all. No chocs, crisps, mince pies. I have been a saint. Didn't lose anything but then again...didn't gain anything either. Meantime he has troughed for GB and is still the same size and shape, Gah! Last night we had a game of Upwords and he brought in some choc bics and started eating. I abesntmindedly took one and his hand 'playfully' slapped mine as he said 'now now little piggie- put that down'. I burst into tears and am still upset.
He tried to make amends this am and said 'why don't you just accept you're a lot larger now and this is going to be you?'
I am sure he is right- but I can't. I want to be slimmer but at present I have to stcik to the drugs to get my joints sorted out.

deemented Mon 03-Jan-11 12:12:23


Cheeky Bastard! I think you've done really well abstaining over christmas - it's really hard.

Is he usually this bothered about what you eat?

bubbleymummy Mon 03-Jan-11 12:13:03

shock! That is so awful.

KathyImLost Mon 03-Jan-11 12:13:44

Wow. What a tosser. It would be all I could do not to give him a black eye.

Kitsichick Mon 03-Jan-11 12:14:25

No, although I have to saY I have changed a lot since we married- Iused to be a slim career woman but thanks to the accident I am now home three days a week and am larger. He is now the chief earner. I think he resents this. However when we are in bed believe me he doesn't mention I am larger. It's just that he seems to chide me all the time and cooking has always been my thing- so without that and being able to join in the eating I feel like a kind of displaced person.

EricNorthmansMistress Mon 03-Jan-11 12:15:49

How dare he? What the fuck? Either he loves you and wants to support you in losing weight (if it's what you want) in which case bringing biscuits into the room and ridiculing you is completely vile and stupid, or he is a nasty cock who wants to embarrass you into losing weight. I can't actually see what's wrong with being 12 st at your height, surely 9.5 st looked really skinny?

belgo Mon 03-Jan-11 12:17:56

You may have changed since your road accident and diagnosis of RA but this is why we say our marriage vows - in sickness and in health, for better for worse etc and I think he needs to be reminded of that.

I hope you ate the biscuit.

KathyImLost Mon 03-Jan-11 12:22:39

I just asked DH and he agreed that your DH's behaviour is appalling. He also added that he'd not dare get between me and a chocolate biscuit, but that's neither here nor there hmm

What makes him think that your weight is any of his business? BTW, I agree with other posters who say at your height it doesn't sound very big anyway.

purplepidjbauble Mon 03-Jan-11 12:22:51

Twat! He should be supporting you by not putting temptation in your path.

My mum does this to me - it makes DP furious when she's commenting on my weight (12st, 5'5") then giving me a stocking full of chocolate for Christmas. i have put on about 2 stone for a similar reason to you - reactive depression in my case. I lost 2 stone in a month because eating made me nauseous, have finally stabilised the drugs and the eating, and now weigh more. I'm now trying to lose the weight again, but through healthy eating and exercise rather than throwing up hmm

DP agrees that I would feel better if I lost weight; for my own self-esteem. He has compared my 10st body to that of slebs he likes - but he still makes it clear he fancies the pants off me no matter what shape I am. He is supporting me by cooking healthy meals, buying lots of fruit, and encouraging me to exercise, whether swimming with friends or doing kick-boxing training at home.

taintedsnow Mon 03-Jan-11 12:34:36

OMG how dare he talk to you like that?! That was horrible. YANBU in the slightest to be upset with him.

FudgeGirl Mon 03-Jan-11 12:40:47

I'd be upset to, in fact I'd have probably punched him in the mouth.

But I think you really need to sit down and talk to him about how you feel and see if he does really resent being the main earner. Maybe he does, but perhaps if he learns more about how you feel with your health etc, he will see things in a different light.


borderslass Mon 03-Jan-11 12:45:13

DH would never have done that I gained masses of weight through having the kids and various health problems but he didn't care what an inconsiderate tosser I would of slapped him back.

TheMonster Mon 03-Jan-11 12:49:23

What an insenstive wanker. I'd expect a HUGE amount of grovelling.

KaraStarbuckThrace Mon 03-Jan-11 12:55:37

I put your stats in to the BMI calculator.

It came up with 'Your BMI is 23.4, which means you are in the healthy weight range'

If you were 9.5 stone you were bordering on being underweight!

Tell your 'D'H to fuck the fuck off angry
He has got a point about accepting yourself as you are - the weight you are now is fine for your height - however he is still an insensitive twat angry

diddl Mon 03-Jan-11 13:02:42


Sorry, but that´s awful.

I´m overweight but jesus one bloody biscuit.

I´d have crammed as many as possible in & crunched them in his sanctimonious face.

theevildead2 Mon 03-Jan-11 13:07:41

^My DH is one of the type built like a whippet and can eat anything and not POW.
He is also ten years younger than me^

I thought you had come on to brag grin

Do you think he actually means it or was he just kidding and not being tactful? I have been calling DH Fatty Jim Morrison (he's grown a beard like JM did after he got fat). Dh isn't fat though. I am fat. He knows I'm joing though and I would never say it if I thought h woudl take offence.

diddl Mon 03-Jan-11 13:09:59

"My DH is one of the type built like a whippet and can eat anything and not POW."

And just because he can, doesn´t mean that he can´t cut back to support OP.

WimpleOfTheBallet Mon 03-Jan-11 13:15:59

I'm 11 nd a half stone and only 5.6! I am happy with the way I look and so is DH!

I don't think I'm fat...I am curvy...not fat though.

Personally I would have rammed the biscuits in his face.

WimpleOfTheBallet Mon 03-Jan-11 13:16:52

I know I am not in the healhy BMI atm....but even so it's NOT a DHs place to call his wife a piggy!

lucky1979 Mon 03-Jan-11 13:49:24

It's not about you accepting how you are now though, it's about him calling you a pig, and treating you like a naughty but indulged toddler, or maybe a puppy. What he said would have been out of order whether you had eaten for england or only subsided on edamame and water. That is what he should be apologising for, not some mealy mouthed rubbish about fat acceptance.

Plus, if he's 10 years younger than you, chances are that his ability to eat anything won't last, and he'll get a good old middle aged spread because he has poor eating habits. Remind him of this.

JustAnotherNameChanger Mon 03-Jan-11 13:54:00

I am 5 11 and weigh 12 stone - i am a size 14 on the bottom and 12 on top. The smallest i have ever been is 11 stone and i was a size 10 all over.

You are not fat and tell your 'DH' to fuck off

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