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fifteen days of family life:)/;(?

(17 Posts)
Kitsichick Thu 30-Dec-10 13:30:36

Am I being unreasonable?
DH will have been home for an unbroken 15 days by the time he goes btw. We are used to a bit of distance between us as he commutes every day and also works in the USA a lot while I am home and working locally. We have no kids but a lot of animals. The house is big and old and in the couhtry so it takes a lot of upkeep and when he decided to go to B and Q today on his own to get lagging and other stuff I nearly did a jIg of joy. I have the house back to myself!
I do love him dearly but I have had enough of all his silly puns which are quite funny in moderation- and having to watch things on tv like' when railways bridges attack' etc. The final straw was he wanted me to watch Ice Truckers parts 1-7 with him and was so pleased when I did 'isnt this fun' he kept saying! Also he is loving having 'sex on tap and good food as well'- if I am not in bed I am in the kitchen! If he makes ONE MORE CARROTY IN THE BACK grope at me I swear I will bury him in firelighters. I DO like sex and I like spontaneity but - every single morning and night since Christmas Eve????!!!!! Even a massage to my poor tired back (I had sciatica) seems to turn to my bust after about three feeble rubs of the backbone. As I say - I do do do LOVE him and he is a dear man but AIBU to want some space and my body back to myself again or should I be flattered that after 10 years of marriage- nearly 11 and I am 50 and he is 40- that he still wants me so much? And what does everyone else do with their DP's being around so much? Is it just me? He gets so hurt and sulky when I say I just want a bit of time on my own with a book. And then I get the sulky big baby teenage face which makes me CERTAINLY not want to sleep with him. He has a light in his eyes about tonight! He has read that 'bottom sex' (sorry) is very good and wants to try it- he keeps saying 'I love your sweet little bottom' (Is he mad? I live on Ferrer Rocher over Xmas!) I can't bear the thought of having to hand my SLB over as well. It doesn't sound fun at all and its hardly the kind of thing I can ask my friends! Does all this mean I am being unfair to DH?
kITSI

MamaVoo Thu 30-Dec-10 13:42:23

YANBU to be getting fed up with your DH. Mine's been home for about six days now and is getting on my nerves a bit with football constantly on TV.

However, you are a grown woman and if you don't fancy bum sex then don't do it. Why don't you just tell him?

Kitsichick Thu 30-Dec-10 13:50:51

ha ha ha- you are so right! I guess I just felt so sorry for him as he looked hopeful! Damn it- you are right! I WILL say so. Dur!

janct Thu 30-Dec-10 19:49:53

I think you should reach a compromise on this subject.

Why not suggest to him that - if he can prove to you it won't hurt too much - you'll give it a go.

You'll need to have kept the extra large cucumber in the fridge for at least an hour beforehand though. I gather than the coldness helps act as an anaesthetic.

Then, if he's OK with that, you either panic that he let you insert a frozen cucumber where the sun don't shine, or you agree to the same as long as he freezes his willy for an hour first.

Kitsichick Thu 30-Dec-10 20:00:26

OMG I'm not a salad person! Would a Toblerone do??

janct Thu 30-Dec-10 20:02:34

Toblerone? Good lord woman! A Toblerone goes in the other end!

What a waste of good chocolate!

tuts loudly

dementedma Thu 30-Dec-10 20:08:31

ROFLMAO at OP! OMG I HEAR you sister!!
Do I need to know what SLB means?

Bigpants1 Thu 30-Dec-10 21:05:35

Bottom sex is good, but its something you both have to be up for. You need to relax, and go slow-no hard thrusting the first time. Also, do not attempt, unless you have LUBE to hand-you need to use plenty of it.
You could always frighten the wotsit out of him, by puting on a huge strap-on, and telling him youd like to play with his "SLB"!

compo Thu 30-Dec-10 21:07:37

Sounds like you've outgrown him to me

Mists Thu 30-Dec-10 21:09:27

15 days shock

My DH has been home since Christmas Eve. DS is autistic, loves his routine obviously and having my husband and his older sister home has really unsettled me him.

Hang on - I didn't read the OP properly and have just glanced at the replies...

It isn't Friday already is it? confused

Mists Thu 30-Dec-10 21:12:28

"he keeps saying 'I love your sweet little bottom' (Is he mad? I live on Ferrer Rocher over Xmas!)"

Ha haaaaaaaaa!

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 30-Dec-10 21:14:18

Sorry, but your post made me laugh grin

My DH is in the Royal Navy, and as such I have gotten used to not having him around a lot of the time. As he has recently been home a lot more I too have found myself having Ice Truckers and Swords-Life on the Line and crap informative programmes about german aircraft on in the background constantly!

I've also had the "lots of women enjoy..." bottom sex convo. I have tried it, and no, I really don't like it! Maybe for his birthday...

I end up trying to get my "me-time" by staying up really late. Sometimes I even go to bed first (wouldn't want to give sex a miss altogether wink) and then get up again. I have been known to stay up to silly o'clock just because the house is lovely and quiet and I can do what I like, so I totally get where you are coming from.

PeeringIntoAFestiveVoid Thu 30-Dec-10 21:24:21

grin at having to watch Ice Truckers, 'when railway bridges attack' grin and 'Swords-Life on the Line and crap informative programmes about german aircraft'. The latter two are what my DP watches when I'm in bed lazing reading.

The only advice I can offer re the violation of your SLB grin is what I told my exH - you can do it to me after I do it to you. Unfortunately, he loved it done to him and I still didn't want him to do it to me. It caused a bit of friction between us (fnarr fnarr) grin

GMajor7SwansASwimming Thu 30-Dec-10 21:25:19

Just say no. Your rectum is designed for shitting, not intercourse.

JaxTellersOldLady Thu 30-Dec-10 21:28:57

oh stop bragging and pass the chocs this way.

PMSL at the toblerone! grin

Joolyjoolyjoo Thu 30-Dec-10 21:31:30

pass the chocs- but keep the toblerone to yourself!! who knows where it has been..

dementedma Thu 30-Dec-10 22:58:13

Ice Truckers would be a welcome change from fricking FOOTBALL!!! Am so glad DH has never suggested "bottom sex" in 23 years of marriage.I think i can live without that experience grin

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