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to not want to eat at the table with my children

(99 Posts)
soggy14 Tue 28-Dec-10 22:02:16

because their table manners are appalling?

raspberryroo Tue 28-Dec-10 22:02:59

Thats WHY you need to sit at the table with them lol

TheBigZing Tue 28-Dec-10 22:03:34

Er ... teach them some manners?

Rindercella Tue 28-Dec-10 22:04:43

I think it's your job to, err, teach them to eat proper like.

hpsaucy Tue 28-Dec-10 22:05:04

isnt it down to you to teach them!!!

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs Tue 28-Dec-10 22:05:28

how will they learn if you dont teach them and you know how to do it?? Eat with them hmm

SwearyMary Tue 28-Dec-10 22:06:04

I am afraid that table manners is a learnt behaviour. So if you don't lead them then yes yabu. Table manners is an important life skill that you should be teaching and if they need help then you should be the guide.

FellatioNelson Tue 28-Dec-10 22:06:18

Not at all Soggy. I'm having the same problem at the moment. My eldest son doesn't eat with his mouth open, but he chews/crunches so fast and manically it's stresses me to watch it. DS2 holds his cutlery like a chimp and DS3 keeps chewing with his mouth open. I'm starting to obsess about it and I keep starting massive rows at the dinner table. I'm all for putting them up for adoption. Every one of them is old enough to know better.

FellatioNelson Tue 28-Dec-10 22:07:22

Oh, and they have all been taught the right way, BTW.

SwearyMary Tue 28-Dec-10 22:09:03

I do get that manners at the table can cause huge rows though so perhaps set goals for the children, regardless of their ages and then they might be more aware and try to eat nicely. Talking to them, away from the table might help too, rather than the argument that happens at meal times.

FabbyChic Tue 28-Dec-10 22:10:19

Look to yourself to teach them table manners, if their table manners are bad you only have yourself to blame.

pistachio Tue 28-Dec-10 22:10:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisyesterday Tue 28-Dec-10 22:13:11

yep.... what everyone else said!

earwicga Tue 28-Dec-10 22:14:47

YANBU. I thought exactly the same thing on Christmas day. It's only been about 6 months since we started eating in front of the TV and everything I taught them has gone! Unfuckingbelivable! Now I have to do the bloody sergeant major thing again <wails>

soggy14 Tue 28-Dec-10 22:16:00

We've been trying to teach them but they are so cak handed that the food just goes everywhere, they cannot seem to get an appropriate amount on their forks so it all hangs out of their months, they laugh and spray food everywhere etc etc. I just cannot enjoy food when someone is sitting next to me with half of their hanging out of their mouth and when the person opposite has laughed at this and accidentally spat in mine . They are 10, 8 and 4 but the 10 year old is very clumbsy and the 8 year old is male...

UnderTheRadar2212 Tue 28-Dec-10 22:16:40

I sympathise really.

My lad was brought up to sit properly at the table, use a knife & fork properly etc from a very early age........

I've been invited out to a friend's birthday next week. I so don't want to go. The kids will sit still for all of two minutes, then go running about in a restaurant, plus eat with their hands, wipe sauce off their faces with their sleeves..... I'm not a snob but have brought mine up with table manners, I'll get the 'hump' royally at it I think!!!!!!!!!!!

TattyDevine Tue 28-Dec-10 22:18:15

Get the father to do it whilst you sup in the parlour.

If you overhear anything, just go "ahem...YOUR CHILDREN"...

Works for moi.

YANBU

ivykaty44 Tue 28-Dec-10 22:18:53

try a reward system for those that do sit to the table and don't have food handing out of their mouth, and use their fork and knife properly or at least try to and no laughing at bad manners

soggy14 Tue 28-Dec-10 22:19:13

so how do you bring a child up with table manners? Is it genetic - I guess the dexterity bit must be...

UnderTheRadar2212 Tue 28-Dec-10 22:22:08

Well Soggy, you just sit them at a table and tell them off when they shove food in their mouth with their hands - teach them to use a knife & fork instead - and a napkin to wipe their face - and to sit still until the meal is finished - it's not rocket science is it!!!!!!!!!!!!

altinkum Tue 28-Dec-10 22:23:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ModreB Tue 28-Dec-10 22:29:22

Troll, troll, troll, fol de roll, troll troll......

NineNieciesDancing Tue 28-Dec-10 22:31:29

I sympathise. My DS1 has dyspraxia and it is a thankless task trying to get him to eat properly. He is 10 and I seem to have been teaching him table manners forever! I think I have it sussed and he has finally learnt how to hold a knife and fork and then he finds yet another way to do it wrong and I have to start all over again. I'm afraid that I do get ranty sometimes - I know he can do it and I know it must be more of an effort than for the rest of us so I should be sympathetic but sometimes it just seems he doesn't try.

And the worst of it is that DS2 seems to think that if DS1 can do it the wrong way, so can he. hmm

The one thing guaranteed to drive me barking mad is when they don't want something (a stray pea or something) and they just pick it up and drop it on the floor. Grrrr.

YANBU to want to leave them to it but YABU if you do.

scouserabroad Tue 28-Dec-10 22:32:53

I sympathise OP! I wish I could have a meal with interesting conversation and no noisy chewing, no food throwing, no sound effects, no suddenly dissapearing under the table and no feeding teddies - I do ask them to stop but it gets wearing after a while (and we have always eaten at the table, they've had time to get used to it!).

DD2 has this awful party piece that she does with rice, she crams it into her mouth then tilts her head back and sprays it everywhere like a fountain shock

earwicga Tue 28-Dec-10 22:44:26

You are joking scouserabroad? If not, then I take back the comments I made about my children above.

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