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My inlaws don't seem to care about my baby's health.

(71 Posts)
HardyPerineum Tue 28-Dec-10 17:21:44

So, my son has had a cold which started on Christmas Eve and basically made his first Christmas unsettled, snotty and unpleasant. Not fun, but unavoidable. He's just starting to get over it.

My inlaws have now decided to come and visit, and I find out today (after letting him play with and handle the baby extensively) that one of them has brought another cold with him.

If he knew he had a cold, did he have to come? I personally wouldn't go and visit a family member with a small baby if I knew I was ill with an infectious disease.

AIBU?

peggotty Tue 28-Dec-10 17:24:40

TBH I think you are a bit. It's only a cold, not the bubonic plague. Babies and children need to get colds etc to build up their immune system. If it wasn't your relative, it would be someone else who would pass it on to your ds. However I do know it is a hellish having a small baby with the cold.

socialhandgrenade Tue 28-Dec-10 17:25:08

How old is your baby? I can remember feeling furious when a friend brought round a sick toddler when my DS was 5 weeks old. I was furious a lot of the time then tho - I blame the sleep deprivation. Hope your baby gets better soon.

HappyHECmanay Tue 28-Dec-10 17:26:41

it's a cold. unless your child has some sort of immune system problem, then it is really no big deal.

The more cases of the sniffles he gets the better. build up his immune system.

you are going to spend the next very many years surrounded by snotty noses. Best get used to it grin

HardyPerineum Tue 28-Dec-10 17:27:57

My son is 4 months old. And I do know that a certain amount of germs and infections are good for a growing immune system, but since I started taking him to playgroups and stuff he's been ill pretty solidly for about 6 weeks, one cold after another. I'm just really fed up with it.

kittywise Tue 28-Dec-10 17:28:26

it's only a cold. Stop being so precious . Life goes on, believe it or not.

BubbleBobble Tue 28-Dec-10 17:28:40

YABU - but understandably so. You can't avoid letting your DS come into contact with people who are ill when you're outside the house, so you shouldn't fret too much about people coming into your house with a cold.

tholeon Tue 28-Dec-10 17:28:54

viruses that cause colds in older children and adults can cause nasty illnesses in small babies. Particularly rsv, which is circulating this time of year. So yanbu. I think your relative should have told you he had a cold before coming to see you/ handling the baby - then it would have been up to you. I am particularly neurotic about germs though, based on my personal experience!

kittywise Tue 28-Dec-10 17:29:27

4 months? Good God, I thought he was a couple of weeks. hmm

SkyBluePearl Tue 28-Dec-10 17:31:57

i think it depends on the babys age really and the illness. With newborn and very very young babies i would try to avoid people with colds - but its not always pracitcal as life has to go on. With older babies you can expect to bump into all sorts of colds at softplay/toddler groups/supermarkets/banks etc. It's temps and proper illness bugs that I would be more concerned about but then it's also good for them to build up their immune system. My kids had loads and loads of illnesses up to a year old but then have been mostly illness free for many years.

HappyHECmanay Tue 28-Dec-10 17:32:01

yes. I'm sure you are. It is wearing grin

get used to it. grin

SofiaAmes Tue 28-Dec-10 17:33:14

YANBU - at least they should have given you the choice. My ds ended up in A&E every time he had a cold as a baby. It was scary and exhausting. Given the choice, I would not have had him around someone who was ill. Dd was a whole different story. She never got (gets) sick and if she did (does) it was always mild, so I don't really worry when she is around people with colds.

HardyPerineum Tue 28-Dec-10 17:34:34

HappyHECmanay yay for a few more nights of "oh, I've woken up and can't suck my thumb because my nose is ful of snot, WAAAH!"

...happy days. grin

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor Tue 28-Dec-10 17:34:38

" since I started taking him to playgroups and stuff he's been ill pretty solidly for about 6 weeks, one cold after another"

Yes, that's pretty much how it goes. Wait til he starts nursery.

blinks Tue 28-Dec-10 17:35:27

personally, i'd have warned the parent if i had a cold visiting a baby. doesn't mean they don't care about your baby's health. that's tootally loony tunes.

socialhandgrenade Tue 28-Dec-10 17:36:46

I guess the only comfort is that hopefully if he gets lots of bugs now, he will build up a good immune system. It is absolutely draining looking after a sick baby. Can the PIL come and help you out so you can get a rest?

SugarMousePink Tue 28-Dec-10 17:36:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SofiaAmes Tue 28-Dec-10 17:38:18

And by the way, having gotten loads of colds as a baby has not assisted ds in building up immunity now that he's older. He is now 10 and misses on average 3 weeks of school a year from being ill. Dd who is 8 and shares a bedroom with ds, doesn't miss more than a day or 2 a year from being ill. The difference between "bumping" into colds out in the real world and having your inlaws showing up with one, is that you have the choice with the former as to whether you choose to expose your child to the illnesses or not.
I hope your ds does not get your inlaws cold and you have a healthy rest of the holidays.

HardyPerineum Tue 28-Dec-10 17:39:29

SugarMousePink and DontLetTinsel - darn it, now I'm going to have to find a marketing strategy for baby snot. I have an inexhaustable supply of it. Replacement wallpaper paste? Crazy glue?

peppapighastakenovermylife Tue 28-Dec-10 17:40:32

Calling a cold an infectious disease is a bit OTT.

You will have fun when they start sharding dummies, sucking toys from the floor and picking each others noses <shudder>

grin

defineme Tue 28-Dec-10 17:41:53

The way you've phrased this is unreasonable.
I'm sure they do care.

In my pil's and dmother's day, the only people babies came into contact with were their close family and so caught less colds on the whole.
My mum didn't really understand the concept of playgroups for under 3s, let alone nurseries!

You're worn out and you're worried abot your child.

Don't blame it on your inlaws though.

SugarMousePink Tue 28-Dec-10 17:42:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

peppapighastakenovermylife Tue 28-Dec-10 17:43:22

Sharding? Sharing!

HardyPerineum Tue 28-Dec-10 17:43:51

defineme you are so right, specially about the worn out part! (aren't we all)

and peppapig it's the way he coughs. It makes it sound like it's three hundred times more infectious and diseasey than it is wink

HappyHECmanay Tue 28-Dec-10 17:44:47

grin joys of parenthood, Hardy.

You wait until he's eating slugs, snails and cat litter and sticking his finger up his arse. You'll be dreaming of the bit of snot days, I tell you! grin

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