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to think 4pm on xmas day is too late?

(36 Posts)
macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 16:50:44

for XH to pick up the DD's
They are 9 and 3, overexcited and tired. DD2 is shattered and poorly.
We have had a lovely day, apart from the fact my mothers dog nipped DD2's face
He said he would pick them up between 2-3 for a few hours and to give them their presents.
So we had an early/rushed lunch, finished at 2pm, DD1 rung him to say they were ready, he said they had just started lunch and would be there at 3pm hmm
At 3:45 and DD1 getting anxious, he rung to say he would be there in 5 mins and to be ready. He arrived at 4pm clearly drunk and proceeded to rant aggressively about the dog without even trying to discuss it and see how DD2 was.
When I said he couldnt take them and he was too pissed to drive, he sneered and said he wasnt, GF and their DD were in the car (a big stupid 4WD that I am pretty sure she isnt safe to be driving on the icey snowy roads).

So they're gone, upset, I am going to get back 2 very tired, hyper, irrtable children at god knows what time. He wouldnt have them tomorrow as he's "out", I offered earlier he said no.

I'm NBU am I??

EricNorthpolesChristmas Sat 25-Dec-10 16:55:36

You let him drive them drunk?


IAmReallyFabNow Sat 25-Dec-10 16:58:01

YANBU for being annoyed but bloody stupid for letting a pissed man drive your kids.

macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 16:59:21

Of course I didnt let him drive them drunk shock
The GF was driving his car!

TheBrandyButterflyEffect Sat 25-Dec-10 17:01:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IAmReallyFabNow Sat 25-Dec-10 17:01:18

So will she look after the kids?

macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 17:03:53

I expect so, no idea what time they will be home, what a rubbish end to the day, oh well at least they will be happy as he will splash the cash (he wont give me child support).

ragged Sat 25-Dec-10 17:43:52

From 3pm to 4pm isn't that much difference, so I'm not sure that 4pm is that late (if you were ok with 3pm, anyway).

How is your DD2's face? I got nipped near the eye by a puppy once (no harm, but bit of a scare for my poor mum).

I hope the GF is more sensible than your ex?

I don't understand this getting drunk on Xmas day thing at all! But then I don't really understand the appeal of getting drunk at all... confused.

macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 18:36:39

I's 2 fairly small, superficial nips, I think she scared him/sat on him. She is absolutely fine.
He has sent the police round to report a dangerous dog, and is refusing to return the children, fucking great.

He has NEVER, not once in her whole life, bathed,put to bed or had my DD2 overnight, never.

ivykaty44 Sat 25-Dec-10 18:42:25

Put your feet up and sit back and relax- he will bring them back as he is going out in the morning and however much he thinks he will not return the dc in the morning - he will. So now he will have to deal with two highly wound up dc and pay the consequences that you were going to...served cold I think..............

make sure you don't bite please

Numberfour Sat 25-Dec-10 18:44:02

He sounds a right knob. Sorry, no advice. YADNBU.

macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 18:47:09

I'm sure he will return them if not tonight then tomorrow, as he has a pub day planned.
The children will not be happy or settled, DD2 will want me. Their presents are all here, he has NOTHING for them, no toothbrushes, pj's, clothes. Last time he had them he "forgot/couldnt be bothered" to feed them.
This is nothing to do with concern for the children but all about getting/controlling/punishing me.

I won't bite, I learnt long ago it make sit worse. We will however be going back to communication via solicitor and a court agreed access.

LadyintheRadiator Sat 25-Dec-10 18:52:48

You let him take your children for the night knowing he has nothing for them?

RumourOfAHurricane Sat 25-Dec-10 18:53:05

Message withdrawn

macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 19:00:55

He wasnt supposed to have them overnight!!!! Just for a few hours to do presents, he is refusing to bring them back now because of the dog bite.
He never has them overnight, never wanted to, and has been working away for 5 months, only got back last monday.

Starbuck999 Sat 25-Dec-10 19:04:07

YANBU in being annoyed that he has changed plans, 2 hrs late does make a difference to tired out kids.

However YABU about him calling the police about the dog. Even a small bite is still a bite, even if you want to dress it up as a nip I guess the dog wasn't to blame as dd was sitting on it/ tormenting it - but why was she left alone with the dog in the first place. Perhaps he just wanted it looked into.

macdoodle Sat 25-Dec-10 19:08:34

She wasnt alone, we were all in the roon, dog lying in front of the fire, me and DD2 sat on the floor opening presents, DD1 and my mum on the setee. DD2 leaned forward to I think hug him and sat/or stood on him, and he turned on her.
Of course, its bad and we have taken steps to sort it out, if he could talk to me like a rational adult then we could have discusse dit. Instead he ranted and swore so I had to ask him to leave.
Calling the police and keeping 2 tired, overexcited children is crazy. He full well knows they are in no danger, he just wants to be in control/hurt/punish me.

IAmReallyFabNow Sat 25-Dec-10 19:19:25

How would you feel if the dog was his and had bit her when he was looking after her?

He might be being an arse but his daughter has been bitten by a dog and he is entitled to be concerned for her safety.

Ephiny Sat 25-Dec-10 19:31:26

He's entitled to be concerned, dog snapping at child is not good, but calling the police seems a bit of an overreaction. Better surely to have a chat with the OP and her mum about how to stop it happening again, e.g. teach dd to be more careful around the dog, put dog in kitchen while children are playing in living room, whatever seems like a sensible solution. That he's not doing that implies he's not actually concerned, just wanting to cause trouble for the OP.

And YANBU about him turning up late, and drunk.

MumBarTheDoorSantaUsesChimneys Sat 25-Dec-10 19:32:18

YANBU about the timing. DS, 6yo was bouncing and full of the joys at 2pm and then visibally tired and lagging although still happy at 4pm.

RE the dog. Difficult one as although it wasn't bad it could have been. My guess is though that if he's not paying child support he will not keep the children - they will cost more to keep than the child support to pay!

If he's been drinking I would imagine thats clouding his judgement.

I hope it all works out and your DC's are OK.

midori1999 Sat 25-Dec-10 19:45:46

No offense, but if your DD was allowed ot disturb a sleeping/half asleep dog then the adults are at fault foe the nip/bite. She wasn't harmed, but you should make sure she is unable to disturb the dog in future or even if n ot meaning to harm her, he could do more damage next time (catch an eye etc) and it's as unfair to the dog as your DD. He is a twat to call the police though and sounds like he is determined to continue to behave like one.

I agree you should see a solicitior. It's not like he can shop for things they need for an overight stay tonight as everywhere is closed, so he is not putting them first at all. Surely any reasonable adult would discuss the concerns re: the dog with you rather than simply call the police?

I hope you're not too upset.

diddl Sat 25-Dec-10 20:23:01

He´s supposed to be caring fpr his children butis drunk so his GF will do it.

So what´s the point of them going?

I think that that should mean he doesn´t get a visit tbh.

salsmum Sat 25-Dec-10 20:50:37

Mcdoodle I feel your pain sad my ex has been a knob today and bought a bad end to what should be the best day of the year x

thesunshinesbrightly Sun 26-Dec-10 00:42:36

Try mine bloody boxing day cause xp was to busy with the in laws to have them today.
No phone call nothing.tosser.

fuzzypicklehead Sun 26-Dec-10 10:07:49

bump--what happened? Did he bring them back?

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