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has this magazine been gloriously stitched up or what? Bwahaha!

(35 Posts)
StuffingGoldBrass Fri 24-Dec-10 08:28:54

OK so I found it on the train, but anyway the Xmas issue of Love It (the Happy SHopper-style Take A Break) has a feature called 'A Boob Job For Xmas On Benefits'.
I don't believe a word of it, is a classic windup - the clue being that this alleged scrounger/slapper has called her kids....

Joop after the perfume
^Dkny' 'which rymes with bikini' according to the mag
and Tavian.

She says she gets up at 5am to do her hair and make up for the school run...

And can't work because she wouldn't have time to maintain her beauty routine if she did.

TheParasiteofChristmasPast Fri 24-Dec-10 08:32:02

love it! i think they just make stuff up in the office and then get the new girl to dress up as the protagonist as an initiation rite.

people who buy these things should not be allowed to vote

MsKLo Fri 24-Dec-10 08:33:43

Let's hope it is not true because if it is God help us!

Lardycake Fri 24-Dec-10 08:35:11

Hilarious! (What is Tavian?)

TheParasiteofChristmasPast Fri 24-Dec-10 08:38:26

rhymes with bikini is a nice touch

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor Fri 24-Dec-10 08:40:23

Dkny! Fabulous! Im adding it to my list of names for my mythical 4th child immediately. It was a girl I presume?

DontLetTinselDragOnTheFloor Fri 24-Dec-10 08:41:47

and I don't for one minute believe that you found it on a train. You've always struck me as the type to have a subscription to this kind of magazine

[arf]

I brought it on holiday blush and OMG is sooo funny. I even told dh the names and he laughed.

That's nice innit. I was just doing me air n makeup when I ear this noise coming from me Burberry andbag. I told Dkny to get me bag and get me fags while e was at it cos I fort it was Jason on the Blackberry.

Then I realised it aint gonna be Jason cos it's Kevins day today. Looked at me blackberry and I see a message from mah mate, Chanel, saying that some bunch of posh bitches are taking the piss out of me on the internet.

I aint got time for this, I've been up since five, I've got 3 kids to get ready for 3 different dads, I've got to go cash me giro, buy some Lambrini and find a crop top for the club tonight and I ain't even done me makeup yet.

So leave it aht, will yer?

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Fri 24-Dec-10 08:50:08

Oh yes, I read it. I hoped it was a wind up!

And I don't believe you found it on a train either. I know how much you love your proleporn! grin

edam Fri 24-Dec-10 08:59:21

I found two of these magazines - downmarket versions of Take a Break, something I hadn't thought possible - on top of the newspaper pile at home. Was seriously worried about dh's sudden interest in proleporn (great phrase, Hec!) so went and asked him what on earth he was doing. Turns out each one has a story about a student from his college (both nice stories about achievements). Phew!

Btw, I used to write real life stories for Take a Break when I was a rookie journalist. It is NOT easy. The people I interviewed were not used to describing their experiences in a coherent manner. You have to really drag it out of them. (The ones I remember were not holding up the interviewees to ridicule, one was 'stalked by my boyfriend's ex' and I forget the other.)

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Fri 24-Dec-10 09:04:46

grin it's SGB's phrase.

Actually, take a break has gone all noble! They don't pay people for stories any more and have all these campaigns! They even had an article about MN talking about them.

They quoted me.

the one that made me real sick was the one about a bride who faked cancer to get a free weddign angry

TrillianAstra Fri 24-Dec-10 09:15:13

Our office somehow has a subscription to 'Real People'. These "real people" apparently spend their time having weddings where the groom died 6 months ago, meeting and having sex with their long-lost adopted sons, and dressing up their pets in amusing outfits.

Alouiseg Fri 24-Dec-10 09:16:13

Yabvvvu to read such mind sludge. It will do you no favours.

Arf at Valhallalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaa a

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Fri 24-Dec-10 09:19:58

blimey - really edam - I grew up reading Take A Break blush (my mum used to buy it religiously grin - and I used to do the puzzles.

A boob jon on benefits...........I'm sure there was a MN thread about "her" - 'twas all on credit cards and loans irrc

TrillianAstra Fri 24-Dec-10 09:29:32

Val I expect your post is very funny but I cannot read it as my ears start to bleed. Please accept my apologies.

Me and my (male) housemate used to buy all of them for the competitions. We had our own puzzle club. You can guess the first rule...

Sadly it looks as if our heroine's tale hasn't made it online yet grin

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Fri 24-Dec-10 09:52:48

unless there's 2 of them at it!!!

BrandyButterPie Fri 24-Dec-10 09:56:41

I love a bit of proleporn

Tbh, tab et al do provide a service- especially tab, which has lots of health info and run various campaigns. i know I learned a lot about women's health from my nanas take a breaks.

Give me tab over cosmo any day - at least normal people can afford the things they write about! A review of a new type of biscuit is more relevant to me than a page of handbags that cost a months wages and wouldn't stand up to a bit of baby vomit.

Some of the more downmarket ones do cross the line sometimes- i saw a headline about a woman who had been raped, illustrated by her standing, naked with her hands strategically placed, staring out of a window.

However, not everybody can keep up with places like this, for various reasons, and they might not have a reliable source of info about various things, so if at least take a break tells them how to check their breast, get help with depression, cook a healthy meal from scratch or whatever, then who can argue?

zukiecat Fri 24-Dec-10 10:02:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuffingGoldBrass Fri 24-Dec-10 10:03:15

Baroquin: No, it's not the same woman.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Fri 24-Dec-10 10:04:34

actually Brandy - you make a fair point there - among the "car crash" stories tab certainly does have stuff that is useful to normal people I suppose

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Fri 24-Dec-10 10:04:54

omg - you mean there's 2 of them grin

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