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To lock myself in the toilet with a box of chocolate biscuits and have a good cry?

(25 Posts)
NormaSknockers Fri 24-Dec-10 08:03:32

I have reached my limit. I cannot take anymore.

I have no Christmas spirit or excitement, I have 12 people eating Christmas dinner here tomorrow and it's turned into a mammoth task.

DH is working all over Christmas.

The DC, as much as I love them, have driven me to the brink these past few days, DS has hit the terrible two and DD has hit what can only be described as the f*cking fours. Between them they have run me into the ground and by 5pm yesterday I was in tears and ready to give up.

I am sleep deprived as DS is a rubbish sleeper and I have had so much rushing through my brain that I keep waking up in the night and laying there for ages.

DS started whining at 5am and it seems I have already reached my limit today. I'm exhausted, emotionally and physically. I've had a rather emotionally and painful few weeks which hasn't helped.

AIBU to put a DVD on for the DC, lock myself in the toilet with the chocolate biscuits, scoff the lot and have a good cry whilst doing so?

ABudafulSightWereHappyTonight Fri 24-Dec-10 08:05:37


You poor thing. It all sounds horrible. Anything you can delegate? Can you invite anyone over today to help distract the children from killing each other?

Failing that a couple of hours on the sofa with a DVD?

NormaSknockers Fri 24-Dec-10 08:08:01

We're out all day today, ok in one sense as the children will be distracted but crap in the sense that I have to slap on a smile and be all jolly when all I really want to do is sit in my PJs and cry.

I'm full of the spirit of Christmas me!

tyzer2001 Fri 24-Dec-10 08:09:46


Take a couple of hours off on the sofa. Whilst you are there, write a list of the things that will need doing tomorrow morning/this evening and DELEGATE SOME OF THEM. And remind the children that Santa IS WATCHING THEM.

Twelve people for dinner means at least four adults I guess? That's four extra pairs of hands, make sure they help you. I generally find shouting 'Dinner will be shit unless someone else does xxxxx' helps.


tyzer2001 Fri 24-Dec-10 08:10:31

Sorry cross-posted with your response.

Damn the out-all-day thing - can't you feign illness and just send the DC's?

JodiesMummy Fri 24-Dec-10 08:10:55

Can a relative not take them and then you can pop home for a couple of hours sleep? Everything really does seem better after a refreshing sleep.

gorionine Fri 24-Dec-10 08:12:28

Plese lock yourself somewhere else than the toilet!smile

Other than that YANBU, could your guests all bring something for the meal to load of you?

When I was little my mum was cooking for the entire family (over 20 people) she did it for years until her siblings started having children of their own and realised what she must have been going through. The tradition then changed a bit, everyone started bringing something and one of my aunt my Grandma and myself were the "kitchen cleaning team" My best memories of Christmas are indeed in the kitchen with them!

I am sure if you let people know how stresses it makes you they will be more than happy to help. If they do not, they definitly do not deserve your hospitality, take a step back and do the minimum!

JodiesMummy Fri 24-Dec-10 08:14:39

I feel your pain btw, I have had the most awful flu which is still lingering, aching muscles and joints, horrid cough and nausea, and I just cannot seem to get in the spirit of things. And I have 6 for lunch tomorrow.

justaboutmaintainingorder Fri 24-Dec-10 08:16:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

santagotstuckuptheCHIMCHARney Fri 24-Dec-10 08:19:15

Yanbu. I feel for you..... Feeling much the same myself!

Hey..... Bring the biscuits to the secret wardrobe i'n the little bedroom and I'll meet you i'n narnia!!!

Seriously though? Hope today passes nicely. People like to be useful. Can you call in a favour or two and ask for a hand?

Here, have a baileys to get you started!

MsKLo Fri 24-Dec-10 08:20:47

You poor thing
Please make sure everyone helps you tomorrow

Can someone come today to help you a bit? X

NormaSknockers Fri 24-Dec-10 08:21:14

I would gorionine but sadly it's the only room in the house with a lock

I've got everything I need food wise I just have to cook it all. I probably could have delgated but DH is on nights so he'll be asleep most of tomorrow so people aren't arriving 'til at least 2pm and dinner is going to be 3 to make sure DH gets some sleep before everyone decends. I'm sure they'll pitch in with the clearing/washing up - it's my own fault really as I wamted everyone else to relax and enjoy it but I didn't think DH was working at the time I arranged it all so though I'd have a helping hand.

I can't really Jodie as it's a half an hour's drive away and it's a big family gathering. Shame it's not my DH's family as MIL would march me to bed for some rest!

NormaSknockers Fri 24-Dec-10 08:24:39

justabout it's too late for points saving, I ate all my weekly points yesterday and the day before. I'm way beyond saving points at the moment!

I'll meet you there chimchar!

Not really MsKlo as we're out from 11 'til about 6:30 then once we're home got to get the DC into bed and then DH will be getting ready for work so I'll be sitting up tonight getting things done. I'd have to sit up anyway as I have to get all the presents out once the DC are asleep and it takes DD ages to fall asleep!

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo Fri 24-Dec-10 08:25:08

2 and 4, on your own in the run-up to Xmas, preparing to entertain hordes, no wonder you're cracking! You're not Superwoman, nobody should expect you to be, least of all yourself.

YANBU to take comforting action. Just, perhaps, try to restrict yourself to only half the packet, so you don't add feeling sick to it all! wink

Suggestion: park the dc in front of CBeebies for 20mins while you make yourself a list of all the jobs you can farm out tomorrow. Peeling potatoes, laying table, playing-leading all dc guests, etc. Then, tomorrow, sit back and let them get on with it. Don't supervise (except from the sofa with a glass of sherry in your hand). Never mind if They dint do things quite your way.

Before guests arrive, feed your dc something easy, so they won't go ballistic with hunger if lunch is delayed. Again, never mind if they aren't hungry for the main meal, it's usually too long and drawn out for pre-schoolers to sit through anyway.

Just another 24h to get through.

gorionine Fri 24-Dec-10 08:26:28

Norma, IME, your guests would rather see you relaxed as well rather than running ragged to please them. It won't stop them relaxing to give you a hand in the kitchen or help set the table for you. They might actually WANT to help more.

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo Fri 24-Dec-10 08:29:38

Ugh not 24h - 48h. Sorry, was up until 2am wrapping presents. Why do we do this to ourselves?

NormaSknockers Fri 24-Dec-10 08:31:58

Thank you Candles and gorionine - I always have high expectations of myself and then get upset when I fail miserably. Your suggestions make sense Candles so I'll try and do as much of that as I can.

DS is currently sticking his hand in his cereal and wiping milk all over the table, I can hear the toilet calling!

shabbapinkfrog Fri 24-Dec-10 08:32:09

My dear friends (live in USA) have a massive family. Mum and Dad and 7 adult kids....each one of those 7 have a minimum of 4 children, and each one of those children are now parents themselves!!! You get the general idea dont you? They all go to Grandmas for Christmas dinner. There can be upwards of 20 adults, 40 plus grandchildren, and 50 plus great grandchildren. shock I dont think any of them must own a telly grin

Nobody is allowed to go to Gran and Grandads without taking food. Everybody has jobs to do, down to the littlest child. We were there for Christmas one year and we were also expected to take food and get involved.

I can understand how you feel - I really can. Make everybody involved - even the children can do little jobs. The problem is that its too overwhelming for one person. I would grab each person as they come in and say 'I need you to do.......(whatever job you want them to do). Try not to panic, pin a smile on your face (you can loan one of mine if you want!!) MAKE THEM HELP YOU!!!

I hope your day goes well. Merry Christmas.xxxx

NormaSknockers Fri 24-Dec-10 08:33:00

I wish I knew Candles, hope you managed some sleep at least! I'm seriously considering going on holiday next year!

shabbapinkfrog Fri 24-Dec-10 08:33:53

<<passes her smile, some chocolates and a large baileys into the toilet>>

sadiesadiemarriedlady Fri 24-Dec-10 08:34:58

When you are locked in the toilet with your box of choccies (and hopefully a glass of wine), please remember that you are not alone and hundreds of women will be doing the same (especially me!). Where is that box of Thorntons?....

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo Fri 24-Dec-10 10:31:06

You are most certainly not alone. Look what I did on Wednesday . grin

I've suggested to dh that we go away for Xmas, but he just looks at me as though I've sprouted another head.

Iwasthefourthwiseman Fri 24-Dec-10 10:36:34

Lol @ fucking fours! I'm so done in I'd settle for locking myself outside on the snow to get away from it all!

littleducks Fri 24-Dec-10 10:40:26

I have a 2yr old and a 4yr old, i was giggling but can totally empathise with your commeent on the "terrible twos" and "fXXXXg fours"

VinegarTinselTits Fri 24-Dec-10 10:44:45

Aww Norma <big hug> yes put a DVD on and tell the kids you dont want to hear a peep from them or your ringing Santa

They put your feet up for a bit, it will all turn out ok in the end, its only a xmas dinner, just ply everyone with alcohol when they arrive, that way of you cock it up they wont remember wink

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