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to want to steal the car keys from DH and force him to stay home for a few days?

(9 Posts)
ninaandbean Tue 21-Dec-10 18:53:33

Day two of DS inconsolably crying until he passes out - for absolutely no reason. Probably teething actually, but it feels like no reason. And today, I joined in. DH buggered off to work this morning with the bloody car seat, again, leaving me basically stuck in the house with very few options but to deal with it on my own.

And today especially, I had plans!! I was meeting friends +babies for a crimbo lunch. sad. Determined not to miss it, I bloody ran there with the buggy, buggered up my back, and managed to catch people for all of 45 minutes.

Is it so hard to remember when I tell him I have plans? This is the THIRD time. I've asked him to remember when I've had something important to do. Something that would help me not feel so bloody isolated. And every time he's waltzed off regardless. And, he's NEVER had DS for a full day without me. This is admittedly due to work, and i'm not actually going to slag him off for working hard to keep us afloat, but still... thats 5 months with not a single afternoon even to myself. And I am about to crack!!

I have talked to him, but he just doesn't seem to get that I need time alone! i want to chain him to the baby and steal the car to make a point, and leave him to get on with it... AIBU??

DorisIsAPinkDragon Tue 21-Dec-10 19:03:33

NBU at all, sit him down find a day when he is not working and TELL HIM you are going out (I don't know how you're feeding so you will need to plan for that) but no he is not pulling his parental weight

sparklyjewlz Tue 21-Dec-10 19:06:44

Poor you. You absolutely need some time off. Is your husband having any time off after Christmas? Plan an escape!

jollyoldstnickschick Tue 21-Dec-10 19:08:07

You need another car seat.

ninaandbean Thu 23-Dec-10 03:38:41

three thirty in the morning. Day 4 of endless crying. Somehow I'm the bitch for getting upset and frustrated tonight, and I'm sat up on the sofa with DS while DH... calls me unreasonable and goes back to bed.

FFS.

thanks for the replies. Time out is definitely what I need, before I start to want time out from DH. I know it's sleep deprivation but whatever, IANBU!!!! Why is it always up to me to sort it out??? DH actually just told me to deal with it til 6am then he'll take over. Tell you what, YOU deal with it in the middle of the fucking night and I'LL get up in the morning. Oh yeah, that's not ok with you.

GRRRRRRR

ginnybag Thu 23-Dec-10 14:30:03

Didn't want this to go unanswered.

I've been where you are. It's incredibly lonely in those wee hours, and it's very easy to start really resenting your partner for being able to be tucked up in bed, sound asleep and oblivious.

Your DH is out of line for keeping forgetting the car seat - isolating you is only ever going to make it harder for you - but the solution there might well be another car seat.

He is also out of line for seeing his stressed out, sleep deprived wife - and just deciding he's going back to bed.

Sorry, mate, part of being a prent is interrupted sleep. Sometimes you just have to suck it up for the sake of everyone's sanity.

On another note - if you suspect the baby is teething, have you given him Nurofen or Calpol? Or tried teething gel?

I know it sounds silly to ask, but the number of times we've been at our wits end with our DD, having tried food/water/milk/cuddles/rocking/singing/toys etc etc etc, only to realise we haven't thought something might be hurting...

Nine times out of ten when we've got to that point, the gel or the calpol is the answer and twenty minutes later, we're back to daft grins and babbling.

Hang on in there - it does get easier!

SerendipitousHarlot Thu 23-Dec-10 14:46:12

Please just hang in there - how you feel is so incredibly common, and I can well remember all that simmering resentment at being left to deal with it all. It spoils that time to some extent, because you are so very tired and feel that you're not getting enough support.

Hope things turn around for you.

mamas12 Thu 23-Dec-10 16:57:56

Yes I would do as you said. Tomorrow morning while they are both asleep go off in the car with the car seat and wait for a phone call.
Really he needs to get it so talk to him okay.

ninaandbean Fri 07-Jan-11 20:52:19

thank you for the replies - so sorry not to have responded earlier. He finally got the message, when I came down with horrendous sinusitis and a chest infection just after posting that, which hung around over the whole of Christmas and New Year (only just shifting now with antibiotics). He hasn't caught it and has conceeded that I might have been so ill because I was so exhausted.

DS was indeed teething... two bottom ones appeared on NYE after much suffering for all involved! Poor wee man. DH has actually got into the routine of doing everything between 5am and 9am for the past two weeks, allowing me to finally get some sleep... and the car seat now lives in the hallway by the buggy at my insistence!! Progress has been made. Just wanted to check in and let you know, and say thanks really.

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