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To take my DD to a carol service even though I'm an atheist?

(21 Posts)
pozzled Tue 21-Dec-10 09:11:46

I think I probably am BU but would welcome some opinions on this, especially from Christians.

I'm an atheist but was brought up in a broadly Christian household. I have fond memories of Christmas within the church, and love hearing Christmas carols, and the Christmas story. DD is only a toddler at the moment but I'd quite like her to experience some of these things, and to understand the Christian meaning of Christmas as it's part of her culture.

But it would also feel very hypocritical going to church when I don't believe, and I wouldn't if I thought it could be offensive. So, am I BU or am I overthinking this? If you are a Christian would you be happy for someone who was a confirmed atheist to come along, or would you prefer I stayed away?

jonicomelately Tue 21-Dec-10 09:15:28

If memory serves, Richard Dawkins says that he enjoys Christmas Carols because of their cultual/historical significance.

I wouldn't sweat it.

Lizzywishes Tue 21-Dec-10 09:15:42

I'm not a practising Christian,but I think it's fine. As you say, it's part of her cultural heritage and by taking her to services like this you are, in part, enabling her own decisions about religion later in life.

jonicomelately Tue 21-Dec-10 09:15:55

'cultural' not cultual.

Yulephemia Tue 21-Dec-10 09:17:13

I love singing carols - they're great fun to sing, cheering and warming at this time of year - and I'm a total atheist!

My DD is 8 and I've always answered her questions about "God" as honestly as I could, saying that some people believe x, y and z and when she's asked what I believe I've told her honestly.

I think you're over-thinking it: sing away and have some fun with it. wink

noblegiraffe Tue 21-Dec-10 09:17:45

Wouldn't Christians be delighted that your child would be going to their religious service?

So long as you don't sit there stony-faced and refuse to join in, how would they even know?

TrillianAstra Tue 21-Dec-10 09:18:16

YANBU, you are "observing the customs of your tribe"

It's a nice thing to do. You don't have to believe in the story you are singing about.

redskyatnight Tue 21-Dec-10 09:18:41

IME all are welcome to attend a church service, whether they believe or not.

pozzled Tue 21-Dec-10 09:18:53

Thanks all, that is reassuring!

"My DD is 8 and I've always answered her questions about "God" as honestly as I could, saying that some people believe x, y and z and when she's asked what I believe I've told her honestly."

That's exactly what DH and I intend- we want DD to be able to make her own mind up eventually.

StewieGriffinsMom Tue 21-Dec-10 09:21:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityMotherOfRhinos Tue 21-Dec-10 09:21:32

christians dont hate non christians

also noone would know your beleifs

you aren't going there to ruin it
youre going there to enjoy it

its fine

hairyfairylights Tue 21-Dec-10 09:23:27

YANBU!!! I am not a Christian, but I LOVE Carols and if I could go to a carol service I would!

the Church will welcome you.

claig Tue 21-Dec-10 09:26:12

YANBU and it is not hypocritical at all. Christmas carols are beautiful, go and have a very nice day.

FakePlasticTrees Tue 21-Dec-10 09:31:26

YANBU - I'm a Christian and I think you shouldn't worry about taking her, if you think she'll enjoy it, go for it. Churches try to be welcoming. At least ours does.

MrsVidic Tue 21-Dec-10 09:50:54

by all means go and enjoy it. However, don.t complain if people assume your a believer

BusyMisstletoeIzzy Tue 21-Dec-10 09:53:27

YANBU, I'm not a Christian and I love carols.

pozzled Tue 21-Dec-10 09:56:10

Fairly unanimous then! I'll definitely go.

"by all means go and enjoy it. However, don.t complain if people assume your a believer"

I won't. But I would be honest if anyone asked me (not that I expect they would) which is why I wanted to check that no one would mind.

ebonyfish Tue 21-Dec-10 09:58:52

You will be very welcome at church any time of year.

Merry Christmas.

StayingFatherChristmasGirl Tue 21-Dec-10 10:40:47

I'm a christian, and I think it is great that you are taking your dd to a carol service. It will be a lovely experience for her, with some of the best church music (I love the Christmas music best of all), and a great thing for the two of you to share.

And you are also helping her to learn the story that is behind a huge amount of art and music in the Western world, so enriching her life that way too.

Merry Christmas!

BecauseItoldYouSo Tue 21-Dec-10 10:44:03

I am doing the same thing as I feel the same way. I think that it is a great thing for a child to experience.

Church doors are open to all.

cory Tue 21-Dec-10 10:46:01

Hope you have a lovely time!

My parents are atheists but I grew up a Christian (for reasons unknown). I still feel that they do have a right to the church as part of their cultural heritage even if it doesn't mean the same thing to them as to me. What I always enjoyed about them was their relaxed open attitude on occasions like this.

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