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..to be absolutely horrified at what I see some 11yr old girls post on facebook?? ...

(168 Posts)
nelehluap Tue 21-Dec-10 09:07:24

My eldest DD is 12yrs old. A lot of her mates are still 11. These same 'mates' have facebook. like DD1 does. DD1 rarely goes on her facebook because she finds it all rather boring and all too easy to see friends fall out because of comments put on there and she hates being dragged into fall-outs.

Last night I decided to have a look around her facebook (she knows I do this and because she rarely goes on it she's not that bothered that I do, and even asks me to have a look)....

I was SHOCKED.....some of her 'friends' on there (girls she knows from school but not exactly close friends) have photos of themselves (bearing in mind they're only 11yrs old) - somewhere in the region of 200 photos each - of just themselves - taken with the use of mirrors in various rooms (ie photos of them holding their cameras/phones using reflections from mirrors) wearing the skimpiest, shortest, most revealing outfits and standing in some of the most provocative poses I've seen from such young individuals. One girl - she has about 187 photos of just her...wearing really tight extremely low cut tops (she is well developed) with the pictures of just her breasts...pictures of her in tiny short black dresses holding up the hem of her dress (more like a t-shirt) with nothing on her legs....and the make-up is plastered all over her face...

I see photos of girls taken in changing rooms of places such as primark - whereby they choose clothing off the rails, go to the changing rooms, get changed and take photos, only to get changed again with another outfit (you can see piles of clothes in the changing room) and then walk out in their own stuff, leaving the piles in the changing rooms.

The language that is used on facebook between themselves is shocking also....words such as 'biaatch', the f-word gets used a great deal too and is often seen used in 'rofl', 'wtf', 'lmfao'....AND THEY ARE 11? I even saw one girl say to a friend 'oh, did you suck him off then?' ....

I will be talking to DD1 this morning with the view of pressing the delete button a few times on her facebook today...to remove some of these so called friends that she knows at school....but I'm half afraid it'll only leave her with a handful of friends on there...the classic comment that I saw last night was....'hurry up crimbo, I want my stuff'....how rude and disrespectful is that? I'm the least religious person out there but is that how they see Christmas? Clearly it is.

What has happened to the kids in them? What has happened to the nice, sweet, innocent, naive kids? I was too busy out there playing, making dens, having fun, CHATTING to my mates.... sad Or am I just becoming very old-fashioned???

discobeaver Tue 21-Dec-10 09:11:09

I have told my dd she can't have facebook until she is 13, but yes, some of the things you see and hear very young girls doing/talking about is shocking.

They know about things like anal sex and gang rape, which I find very sad, they have no childhood left.

Do you suppose these girls parents know what they are doing?

TheParasiteofChristmasPast Tue 21-Dec-10 09:11:59

tbh - teenagers and preteen are horrific creatures when chattering amongst themselves, thing is they now have the ability to post this horror across the internet. it is ghastly but there isn't alot you can do.

TheBolter Tue 21-Dec-10 09:12:42

Not surprising when you see lap dancers performing on X Factor I blame Jordan and Simon Cowell. wink.

I think 11 is way too young to be using FB anyway. Can your dd not just de-reg?

samay Tue 21-Dec-10 09:13:33

Message withdrawn

blackcoffee Tue 21-Dec-10 09:16:08

rofl is roll on the floor laughing what did you think it meant?

5ElvesMooningSanta Tue 21-Dec-10 09:16:21

YANBU, I hate pre teens having FB. I have my 9 year old cousin on mine, and some o the stuff she posts is terrible. I don;t think anyone under 16 should have an account tbh.

Can you close your daughters account?

dearprudenceandtheivy Tue 21-Dec-10 09:17:15

YANBU. It's a bit sad. And those pics are out there for ever now, even if the girls grow up into sensible women (which most of them probably will).

You can hide certain people's posts without deleting them as a friend, if this helps.d

nelehluap Tue 21-Dec-10 09:17:29

discobeaver...i would like to think they DON'T know what their kids are up to...otherwise if they do know I'd be even more shocked!...but I don't know tbh....but if that were my DD I would be disgusted.

...and yes I have de-reg DD1 in the past when the bitchiness became too much and she was being blamed for this and that...and yes I could de-reg again....

mamasmissionimpossible Tue 21-Dec-10 09:17:34

My 11 year old cousin posts some really shocking things on facebook. In RL she seems very sweet and innocent.

harassedinhertinselpants Tue 21-Dec-10 09:17:48

My dsd is on Facebook now. Meant to be another way to keep in touch with dh, but we've had to have words with her this weekend. She's 12, just.

It's not pictures or photos because she's too self conscious for that, although her friends aren't! It's the language, the comments to and from boys, oh and arranging to go back to her house with her friends after her mum has gone to work to put makeup on "for the boys". Silly girl, I told her I'd be able to see everything and she just didn't listen. It has improved a lot this week...

Today she is listed as Single.......again. Why do they want to grow up so quickly??

nelehluap Tue 21-Dec-10 09:18:13

blackcoffee...sorry, i meant to put 'roffl'...

Snowqueen38 Tue 21-Dec-10 09:18:38

Nothing you write there particuarly shocks me - sadly.

It is very very sad but what you write seems to be pretty much the norm around here.

My DD is 12 and at a prep boarding school. She uses FB to keep intouch with her friends who live miles away and overseas in the holidays (she has absolutely no access to FB at school). The stuff you describe is similar to what I have witnessed on her friends FB pages - although I have seen slightly sexual references to boys etc I have not seen any to oral sex though.

The photos are shocking tho. Bikini shots and lots of them. I have come to the conclusion that none of their parents can ever look at their childrens FB page.

You are right - it is very sad. I remember at age 11 I was still playing with my Sindy dolls.

TheParasiteofChristmasPast Tue 21-Dec-10 09:20:47

i remember playing with my pals sindy (i didn't have such things) but at around 11 12 sindy and ken started to get fairly rauchy

nelehluap Tue 21-Dec-10 09:25:14

So, if this is the 'norm' for girls this age...why? What has happened to the parents? Do they not care? Do they not check? If not, why not? It is such a dangerous world out there containing some very nasty people...some of these awful photos aren't even kept private...I can access them even without being a 'friend' to the girls on facebook, so therefore open and available to everyone. I think one of the main causes of all this facebooking stuff is the fact the majority of mobile phones now have internet access, so therefore kids can gain access onto their facebook accounts without making it glaringly obvious that they are...they can do it secretly, when they're out and about, in bed, during the night etc etc...whereas when DD1 is on the laptop (we only have the one and her phone doesn't have internet access) I can oversee what she's doing, who she is talking to....

Do parents not do this anymore? Or do they give their kids free-rein to give themselves a quiet life? I often refer to laptops/mobile phones/msn as the 'unpaid babysitter'....especially when you consider how long kids are on it also and at what times....sometimes they're on facebook (you can see who is online) well into the early hours. All very sad.

nelehluap Tue 21-Dec-10 09:33:32

Here's an example....The girl that I referred to on facebook with the most provocative photos I've ever seen (there are a few girls like this on there but she's the worst)...posted on there lastnight, just after midnight, 'night face f-ers' (she put the full f-word but I don't want to type it on here!).....

...and she is 11yrs old.

InPraiseOfBacchus Tue 21-Dec-10 09:39:14

I swore and made filthy jokes from age 11, and even had some pretty disreputable friends! I still had a long, full, happy 'childhood', and look back on it and still consider myself carefree and, to some extent, innocent!

I got up to all sorts, but never thought it had a bad influence on me. I'm now an adult of good manners, taste, and above-average intelligence.

Relax! They're more likely to get into trouble off the internet than on it! Swear words have never, in the history of mankind, caused disease or injury.

All the best x

PrincessScrumpy Tue 21-Dec-10 09:49:05

They shouldn't be on until 14 - but that aside, my cousin was on it at 11. I am her "friend" on it. Our Granny was very worried and wanted it stopped - but I pointed out that at least I can watch out for her. I work in a secondary school and am trained in internet safety. I sat down with my cousin and had a talk about the dangers - no pics with school uniform etc. I keep an eye on her though. more public than Bebo or MSN. If it was DD I would have her login too.

MsSparkle Tue 21-Dec-10 09:49:26

The swear words are nothing new but the photos are concerning aren't they. Their parents clearly have no idea about this.

Callisto Tue 21-Dec-10 09:49:50

I have no experience of facebook as I don't use it and don't intend to - mainly because I think it is dangerous and wrong that a single commercial company having the personal details of 500 million users. But this is another reason. It seems to be so negative - people splitting up, falling out, bullying others and posting details of themselves that they would never reveal face to face. I am actually very shocked that 11 year olds are posting stuff like this, and I really do wonder what on earth their parents are thinking not to check. It has been drummed into us for ever that the internet is amoral and can be dangerous, so are the parents of these girls and boys stupid, ignorant or just don't care?

ShanahansRevenge Tue 21-Dec-10 09:54:04

I am surprised you've not seen this type of thing until now OP.

It's not ok...at 11 I never swore..I was in an anorak catching frogs. But these kids are exposed to all kinds of stuff we weren't at 11.

Their parents...and most of the parents on here have been letting them watch tv until 9.00pm from around the age of 6 or 7.

So sexy outfits are normal to them.

superv1xen Tue 21-Dec-10 09:54:46

as the mum of a baby girl this scares me to death

2blessed2bstressed Tue 21-Dec-10 09:56:10

YANBU dsd's fb page is the same - full of photos of herself and friends in poses, pouting away. Her dad and I have tried to make her see sense - and there is an ongoing police investigation regarding conversations she had on MSN with someone who appears to have been "grooming" her...so what is her mother giving her for Christmas? Her own netbook. It's madness.

MmeLindt Tue 21-Dec-10 10:00:28

I just blocked an app post from DH's niece. Ok, she is not 12yo, she is 16yo, but do I really need to know that she is "Queen of BJs".

<shudder>

They're little girls playing at being grown ups. We did it - but obviously we didn't have the Internet to broadcast it on. Them dressing up and posing doesn't concern me remotely - me and my friends certainly did it. As far as I'm concerned, they can't possibly pose provocatively not matter how hard they try - they are 11. But I worry that they are leaving themselves open to people who want to take advantage of them.

DS isn't interested in Facebook yet, but when he is, I'll monitor it carefully - not so much because I worry about him posting stuff he shouldn't, but so I can see what he's seeing.

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