Talk

Flip

AIBU?

In thinking this is wrong ?

11 replies

backagain5 · 21/12/2010 04:31

If a couple split up, but then do not immediately move out of the same house for financial and family reasons, it does not necessarily mean that actually they still care deep down and that they are hoping there is a chance for them to work things out?

OP posts:

Report

backagain5 · 21/12/2010 04:33

Does it?

OP posts:

Report

AngelsOnHigh · 21/12/2010 04:38

No it doesn't. Just because they have agreed to split,doesn't mean they can't still share the house and expenses for a while.

Dep;ends what the eason for the split is?

Report

AngelsOnHigh · 21/12/2010 04:38

Let's try again.

Depends on the reason for the split.

Report

BitOfFun · 21/12/2010 04:39

It will be different for different people, but it's entirely possible that it's just a staging post on the way to moving out and there is genuinely no relationship left romantically, yes.

When I met my DP, he had not yet moved out after splitting up, but meeting me hastened the process and motivation. It was similar for me: I endured a pretty unpleasant six months of my ex living with me and trying to avoid each other. It definitely didn't mean we wanted to resolve things though.

Report

backagain5 · 21/12/2010 07:50

Split was because of poor treatment of me, and realisation after trying for a long time, that things weren't working.

OP posts:

Report

samay · 21/12/2010 08:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

discobeaver · 21/12/2010 09:06

Not everyone is in a position to move out straight away - you need a deposit for a new place, moving costs, able to pay the rent and so on. And to be able to find somewhere to move to.

It happens a fair bit I think, people keep living in the same house but it's not a symptom of some deep hidden desire to stay together,more a symptom of economics.

If someone handed them fifty grand each, I bet they'd nearly all be out within a day.

Report

TrillianAstra · 21/12/2010 09:11

If someone handed them fifty grand each, I bet they'd nearly all be out within a day.

I agree.

backagain are you in this situation? I woudln't hold out hope if I were you - remaining living in the same house is not an indication that the couple will (or have any desire to) get back together.

I would recommend splitting up properly, including living at different addresses, as soon as it is viable.

Report

backagain5 · 21/12/2010 12:08

I'm in the situation. I'm not holding out hope, H is very difficult to live with. Verbally abusive and intimidating, and refuses to move out. It's very difficult. Do I just change the locks?

OP posts:

Report

GetOrfMoiLand · 21/12/2010 12:12

I split up with XP, stayed in the house for 6 months whilst money, alternative accomodation was sorted out etc.

It was excruitaitng and painful for us both. But it was the end of the road - certainly no desire to get back together because we were living under the same roof.

Report

backagain5 · 21/12/2010 12:48

This has been since January, and he causes me a lot of stress because he is very unpleasant to me. He says it's his house and just won't go.