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In thinking this is wrong ?

(12 Posts)
backagain5 Tue 21-Dec-10 04:31:38

If a couple split up, but then do not immediately move out of the same house for financial and family reasons, it does not necessarily mean that actually they still care deep down and that they are hoping there is a chance for them to work things out?

backagain5 Tue 21-Dec-10 04:33:21

Does it?

AngelsOnHigh Tue 21-Dec-10 04:38:09

No it doesn't. Just because they have agreed to split,doesn't mean they can't still share the house and expenses for a while.

Dep;ends what the eason for the split is?

AngelsOnHigh Tue 21-Dec-10 04:38:56

Let's try again.

Depends on the reason for the split.

BitOfFun Tue 21-Dec-10 04:39:02

It will be different for different people, but it's entirely possible that it's just a staging post on the way to moving out and there is genuinely no relationship left romantically, yes.

When I met my DP, he had not yet moved out after splitting up, but meeting me hastened the process and motivation. It was similar for me: I endured a pretty unpleasant six months of my ex living with me and trying to avoid each other. It definitely didn't mean we wanted to resolve things though.

backagain5 Tue 21-Dec-10 07:50:51

Split was because of poor treatment of me, and realisation after trying for a long time, that things weren't working.

samay Tue 21-Dec-10 08:10:05

Message withdrawn

discobeaver Tue 21-Dec-10 09:06:38

Not everyone is in a position to move out straight away - you need a deposit for a new place, moving costs, able to pay the rent and so on. And to be able to find somewhere to move to.

It happens a fair bit I think, people keep living in the same house but it's not a symptom of some deep hidden desire to stay together,more a symptom of economics.

If someone handed them fifty grand each, I bet they'd nearly all be out within a day.

TrillianAstra Tue 21-Dec-10 09:11:24

If someone handed them fifty grand each, I bet they'd nearly all be out within a day.

I agree.

backagain are you in this situation? I woudln't hold out hope if I were you - remaining living in the same house is not an indication that the couple will (or have any desire to) get back together.

I would recommend splitting up properly, including living at different addresses, as soon as it is viable.

backagain5 Tue 21-Dec-10 12:08:45

I'm in the situation. I'm not holding out hope, H is very difficult to live with. Verbally abusive and intimidating, and refuses to move out. It's very difficult. Do I just change the locks?

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 21-Dec-10 12:12:09

I split up with XP, stayed in the house for 6 months whilst money, alternative accomodation was sorted out etc.

It was excruitaitng and painful for us both. But it was the end of the road - certainly no desire to get back together because we were living under the same roof.

backagain5 Tue 21-Dec-10 12:48:50

This has been since January, and he causes me a lot of stress because he is very unpleasant to me. He says it's his house and just won't go.

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