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to think 6 children shouldn't have been left alone while parents went to (daytime) drinks party?

(111 Posts)
secretskillrelationships Mon 20-Dec-10 20:28:20

Not sure whether IABU or not.

Just found out that ex spent a few hours at a drinks party leaving our DCs (13, 10, 6) with another friend. I assumed she looked after them but she went to the party too, leaving her 2 DCs. Then turned out another child stayed to play. So that meant 6 DCs aged 13 to 6. Someone checked on them every half hour or so 'and they had our mobile numbers.' The party was for grown-ups only.

pickgo Mon 20-Dec-10 20:31:07

Seem to remember another occasion when children were left alone and checked on every half hour. It didn't end too well.
YANBU - definately not. Half an hour is plenty of time for any number of things to go seriously wrong and IMHO 13 is not old enough to look after 5 other children.

Spidermama Mon 20-Dec-10 20:33:15

It's too much responsibility to put on the 13 year old imo.

mjinsparklystockings Mon 20-Dec-10 20:33:34

Message withdrawn

IAmReallyFabNow Mon 20-Dec-10 20:34:49

YANBU and I would hit the roof if my husband had done this.

Spidermama Mon 20-Dec-10 20:38:27

I have left my 12 and 10 year old in charge of my 8 and 5 year olds for the odd supermarket trip etc BUT they invariably argue, lose it with each other, fight and call me every couple of seconds.

I remember my mum and dad used to leave us while they went and ate dinner every evening. (We lived in a halls of residents for students and they got a free meal.) Every evening without fail we'd have a massive violent row for the duration of their absence.

Lord of the Flies.

StuffingGoldBrass Mon 20-Dec-10 20:39:47

Unless the other kids were babies/toddlers and therefore more likely to hurt themselves or get into messes, then I don't think it's too bad.
Pickgo: if you are referring to the McCanns, do get a grip - they were all under 5, which is a different matter.

fatlazymummy Mon 20-Dec-10 20:40:01

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with this. Don't children ever play out without adult supervision nowadays? It's the same thing in my opinion.
pickgo are you referring to the McCanns? If so there is a massive difference between 3 years old and 13 years old. Not to mention the fact that it was night time in a foreign country.

secretskillrelationships Mon 20-Dec-10 20:40:15

DCs are 13, 13, 11, 10, 6, 6. Oldest two and youngest two are boys.

I occasionally leave my 3 for 10 mins if we run out of something but hate doing it.

bibbitybobbitysantahat Mon 20-Dec-10 20:40:25

How far away was the drinks party? If it was next door I wouldn't have a problem with it. Otherwise - yes, too much for the older children to be responsible for.

discobeaver Mon 20-Dec-10 20:42:12

Think 6 is a bit young. 13 and 10 is fine I think for s ahort while.

JoBettany Mon 20-Dec-10 20:43:08

YANBU OP. I think 13 is too young to take responsibility for other people's children as well as siblings, especially if the youngest is only 6.

Puffykins Mon 20-Dec-10 20:46:14

I think it's totally fine. We were left the whole time when we were younger than the ages above, and there weren't even mobile telephones in those days.
And then someone told my parents that it wasn't safe so they started taking us with them when they went to parties and then leaving us in the boot of the car, like dogs. With a potty in case we needed to pee. Which was unbelievably boring.

Where were the children in relation to the adults? Were they next door? I'm just curious as you said someone checked on them every half hour. Personally, mine (12, 10 & 7) would be OK if it was just the three of them but I'd be reluctant in the posted situation because of the unknown variable of the two other children. I don't think you ABU to be a bit irritated by it, it was a bit of a risk (although I assume everything went OK?)

secretskillrelationships Mon 20-Dec-10 20:54:05

Not sure exactly where the drinks party was but house but DCs would have needed to cross a road to get there. I got the impression that they were definitely NOT expected to turn up.

Having written a lot, I think it can be summarised by the fact that I often have 6 children here (mine plus a friend who has 3 the same age) and I would estimate that one of us has needed to intervene or help the DCs at least every half an hour, mostly with the youngest but also the middle two. But what happens is unpredictable and requires a range of responses from subtle to more heavy handed.

I will be interested to hear my DCs take on the day.

Sonnet Mon 20-Dec-10 20:57:43

I leave my dd 14 aone for a few hours on her own and with a friend.

I would leave a sensible 13 year old and a 10 year old ( obviously I am presuming they are as sensible as mine) for a couple of hours but feel uneasy about the younger ones.

mjinsparklystockings Mon 20-Dec-10 21:03:32

Message withdrawn

alarkaspree Mon 20-Dec-10 21:06:13

I think your own three would be fine, but with the extra 3 as well there's likely to be carnage and mayhem. I wouldn't do it.

secretskillrelationships Mon 20-Dec-10 21:09:20

I'm not sure how it was presented to the DCs. I suspect that what actually happened is that the 2 oldest did their thing, ditto the next 2 leaving the 2 youngest to their own devices. Would have said my oldest was pretty responsible but he did something very out of character a few weeks ago so feel he definitely needs keeping an eye on.

Don't know any of the 3 other DCs well enough to know how they'd cope.

maryz Mon 20-Dec-10 21:13:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds Mon 20-Dec-10 21:17:30

If it wasn't far, no problem at all. Cottonwool generation.

MrsFlittersnoop Mon 20-Dec-10 21:29:40

Sorry, I don't see the problem. We used to babysit for much younger children all evening at 13. No mobiles either.

zukiecat Mon 20-Dec-10 21:51:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaWeaselMys Mon 20-Dec-10 21:55:15

I think it's okay too.

The only query IMO is the 6yo so depends on tempeaments of the children I guess.

MrsFlittersnoop Mon 20-Dec-10 22:10:45

shock shock shock at not leaving your children alone in the house until they were 15! Unless they have SN of course, in which case I apologise.

Were they particularly disruptive or out of control?

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