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To think my parents are being utterly feckless?

(16 Posts)
TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 12:29:17

Huge amount of snow here. To cut a long story short on Saturday night my mother slipped on the bottom stair and broke her arm. She called Sunday morning to tell me it hurt but would wait till Monday as she had made an appointment at hospital because her arm was hurting.

The appointment was because she has been uncomfortable sleeping on it recently and she had lymph nodes removed due to breast cancer - she has been in remission over a year. I spoke to my father and he was concerned as he insists he heard a crack and thought it was broke.

Dh drove all the way to their village and then took them both to the nearest A&E as she was in pain. My Dad's car was going nowhere as he has low profile tyres. He stayed with them the whole day, my Mum had indeed broken her elbow and wrist. Dh took my Dad shopping to get anything they might need and got them home and settled.

Yesterday my Mum told me that this Dr seemed to know what he was doing as he didn't put her in the plaster, like the last one (my Mum broke her arm before and they got the break wrong and plastered it in error which a specialist rectified), so at least "I know I've been treated properly" hmm, my Mum and her years of medical training there.

She asked about her appointment the next day and the Doctor told her" reshedule it, they won't be able to manipulate your arm, so won't be a lot of help until you can", Mum apparently went like this hmm. The Doctor then advised her to phone them and "see, what they said"

So this morning I get a phone call from my Mum on her mobile saying she was on the way to her appointment 38 miles away in a unsuitable car, the snow is frozen solid and more is scheduled. She informed me she spoke to the department they said they'd cancel the appointment and reschedule for after Xmas as it was not urgent. Mother then informed me she changed her mind and hour later decided she would like to go so has left a

message on their answer machine

telling them she has changed her mind and is on her way in for the appointment after all.

I pointed out that she may not have a appointment now. She informed me it's a hospital someone will be able to see her, people will be there. She then realised I was annoyed, as opposed to oozing daughterly concern and said she had to go and help my father concentrate on the road.

AIBU to think my parents ABU, wasting NHS time and making a totally unnecessary journey?


AIBU to be annoyed on account they are grown ups and can do what the hell they want?

Oh and so as not to stealth drip. If they do get stuck they have left their elderly dog with no one to care for her!

Please flame some sense in to me so I can get one with wrapping stuff and ironing as opposed to quietly fuming.

Tommy Mon 20-Dec-10 12:32:27

I would go with the second AIBU grin

not a lot you can do about so I would let them get on with it

BettyCash Mon 20-Dec-10 12:32:44

Well, OP, sounds like they're a stubborn pair and it wouldn't make a blind bit of notice whether you're BU or not - let alone WHY you might be!

YANBU. I'd be vexed.

classydiva Mon 20-Dec-10 12:35:08

You are concerned, I can't understand why she is going to a hospital whereby her appointment is cancelled, she will no doubt have to turn around and come back.

I think in your position I would be scratching my head too wondering what planet she lived on.

All you can do is try to be supportive and hope that they don't get stuck on their journey.

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 12:36:16

Tommy - I know, I know...but I'll still be expected the bail the buggers out if it goes wrong, won't I grin

Ormirian Mon 20-Dec-10 12:37:32

Sorry totally ot but does 'feckless' mean 'doesn't give a feck'?

SantasENormaSnob Mon 20-Dec-10 12:38:06


Your parents are.

thenightsky Mon 20-Dec-10 12:42:50


If her appointment is cancelled then it is most likely she will not be seen, but told to go home and await her new appointment in the post.

I run outpatient clinics and I can rarely get a doctor to see anyone who turns up without an appointment. Their days are full seeing patients that ARE scheduled in.

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 13:05:25

Sorry Om <meek>
I was brought up using it to being irresponsible

And I did manage to refrain from "cunting morons" grin

It's started snowing again now <sigh>

Ormirian Mon 20-Dec-10 13:09:03

Oh god no.... I wasn't being serious.


TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 13:23:50


This is why I am confused, in my world you call up and cancel an appointment, then it gets cancelled. You can't turn up later and demand it back as you've changed your mind!

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 13:24:55

Orm I know smile, I just have a justifiable fear of pedants wink

VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa Mon 20-Dec-10 13:34:13

As a woman who has had breast cancer and all the lymph nodes taken out from her underarm, I think YANBU in the least and that there is little or nothing these clinics can do and there will be no appointment for your mother now anyway. Chances are the clinic will be short-staffed and she won't just be able to be fitted in.

As a dog owner and dog lover I think she is a bloody fool and am angry

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 13:54:42

Cheers Val.

She is now home and has called to announce

"I haven't got cancer" overly dramatic I feel, but she told them thats what her worry was so they fitted her in. She has now hung on me in a huff because I said she was irresponsible and so was Dad and mentioned the dog. She told me I was stupid and that the dog would've been fine had they got stuck (she is 14, unsteady back legs and getting incontinent).

Apparently I can't possibly understand what it is like to wonder whether the cancer has come back, and my father would've driven another 50 miles to let her get that information. Well no I can't but her arm started to hurt two weeks ago and they told her they would check it out and gave her a appointment. She would only have had to wait a further week to reschedule, and now she still has to go back so they can find out why her arm is hurting anyway?

I know I am being a bitch, but if she "didn't want me to worry about them driving there" why did she fucking phone to tell me?

ilovecrisps Mon 20-Dec-10 14:00:37

probably in case she needed you to go round and deal with the dog

(glad it's all OK Happy Christmas)

TheHoneydragonsInTheIvy Mon 20-Dec-10 14:02:56

ilovecrisps grin

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