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what shall I do??

(15 Posts)
pastapestofor6 Sun 19-Dec-10 15:56:52

I am single mum to 4 lovely dc, and an only child, every year we are invited to my parents for christmas week, we go christmas eve and return new years day, my parents really go to town and lay on absolutely everything, food drink snacks ect ect, we are extremely fortunate and I know how lucky we are. Last week my mother had a bad accident and is in hospital awaiting surgery as a result of the accident. She has been told she will not be out of hospital for Christmas day but more likely new year instead, I have not bought any festive foods drinks ect as we were planning to go there, I have asked her if it would be possible for me to take a few things from her store room to have here as we really do have nothing treat like or special in the cupboards and I really don't have the money to buy anything special as I will now have to buy normal food and household things for the week we were supposed to be away. I am so embarrased to be unable to provide any sort of Christmas for my dc's and hate that I had to ask her as she is more than generous with the presents she gets for them ect ect, the problem is that she has said no, that she would prefer us to wait and hold Christmas after she is discharged from Hospital of course this is a fab idea, but I don't know what to say to my small ones who are only 6 and 7 and sooo excited about Christmas . I don't want to sound like I don't care about my poor mum, I do desperately and hate that she is suffering, how can I explain this to them without them being too upset? My head is all over the place and I feel such a huge failiure as a mum right now.

Goblinchild Sun 19-Dec-10 16:00:15

Get your children in on the act and celebrate Christmas at Epiphany, and as a thanks that you still have your lovely mother in almost one piece.
'd have been a bit taken aback if I'd been your mother though, so perhaps you ought to think of some damage limitation.

Lulumaam Sun 19-Dec-10 16:00:23

can you tell your children that you 're delaying xmas for a few days because grandma is ill?

can you afford any treats?

can you do really simple basic cheap meals for the week you would have been away or use u pfreezer stuff and have a nice dinner on xmas day?

if you are near a lidl or aldi you can get cheaper food and what not...

at 6 & 7 they can undersand granny is poorly and hte big party can wait and oyu can have your own little xmas party together

can you do a roast chicken dinner ?

I hope your mum is ok soon

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice Sun 19-Dec-10 16:01:04

If you are really going to struggle to put food on the table contact the local salvation army who do food parcels

do a simple dinner instead of all the trimmings and promise them christmas dinner at grannys later in the year instead (with all the crackers and tinsel etc)

jollyoldstnickschick Sun 19-Dec-10 16:03:12

You have 2 sets of twins?

You will just have to make the most of what you have -you would have had to have bought food anyway so instead of turkey you can have a chicken dinner you can buy some luxuries from the £1 shop,crackers chocolates etc and then still have your lovely family Christmas with your Mum after the op.

I know your stressed but Xmas isnt just about 'luxury'.

justaboutmaintainingorder Sun 19-Dec-10 16:06:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PerpetuallyAnnoyedByHeadlice Sun 19-Dec-10 16:07:05

I did not read as two sets of twins, just that the youngest 2 were 6 and 7, those being the DC for whom she felt all the fun and excitement was importnat, th others being older and less bothered?

pastapestofor6 Sun 19-Dec-10 16:07:33

Oh no please don't misunderstand me, we have food and I have meat I can cook, its just all the christmassy stuff we won't have, but hey it'll be fine won't it, I have had a little cry and feel better about it now. Gosh my op sounds a bit pathetic really dosent it, I just hate to think of them not having a nice day iyswim

arentfanny Sun 19-Dec-10 16:08:16

It will be an adventure.

justaboutmaintainingorder Sun 19-Dec-10 16:09:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chrimblycompo Sun 19-Dec-10 16:09:46

Agree with goblinchild
I'd wait until the new year too
the kids can still have the presents you've bought , they won't care about the huge Xmas dinner
treat food is notoriosly cheap
go to poundland for cheap chocolate etc if you really think the kids need it

diddl Sun 19-Dec-10 16:12:02

Have you bought presents for Christmas Day?

They won´t care about having turkey on a different day, will they?

What will your father be doing?

lastpuddingleftontheshelf Sun 19-Dec-10 16:13:39

make your own crackers and some xmas biscuits and fairy cakes. if you don't want to bake buy some cheap readymade cakes and let the children decorate them. Buy some chocolate coins or similar and get your older ones to plan a treasure hunt round the house with clues, all fun stuff that costs very little.

FakePlasticTrees Sun 19-Dec-10 16:20:06

Crackers already on offer in a lot of shops (because most people have got them). Cheap box of Roses put in bowls round the place for the DCs to help themselves too, the gifts they were already going to have and part of the day at hospital as I'm sure your poor mum would love to have her DGCs round her bed on christmas day.

camdancer Sun 19-Dec-10 16:36:28

We had a year a bit like that (although different religion). We had just moved to a different country and my parents hadn't realised that everything would be shut before a very important holiday. So we had nothing in the house - well nothing proper for the holiday. So we just made do. We made decorations out of whatever paper we could find and everything we had sort of stood for something else IYSWIM. I'm sure my parents were mortified initially but really it was a fun year - and one we all remember because we pulled together as a family.

You have plenty of time to get something together. It might not be exactly what you and the DC's expected but you can make it great fun. Plus you get the bonus of having a "proper" christmas later when your mum is all better.

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