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to expect a toddlers parent to stay overnight in hospital?

(340 Posts)
wheresmytractor Fri 17-Dec-10 19:45:30

Last night I spent the night in hospital with my youngest son who is 16 months old. sad He has a possible chest infection, brochial wheeze and needed a nebuliser, inhaler, steroids, antibiotics and a nose tube with oxygen during the night.

Right next to us another toddler is brought in about 7pm. She was about the same age as my little one and had the same thing, except she actually sounded worse, a very croupy cough and quite distressed.

The nurse started to run through how the chair folds out to a bed so the mum could stay when she says "Oh, i'm not staying, i'm shattered" shock. She left 5 minutes later. This poor little girl howled and whinned ALL NIGHT. She would only settle a bit when she cried herself to sleep (only to wake not long after with her cough and needing her inhaler) and when a nurse cuddled her. I felt so so sorry for her. My little one needed lots of cuddles last night and I got only a little uncomfortable sleep, but I would not DREAM of leaving him there all night alone.

The mum waltzed in at 11am angry this morning, and I thought what a bloody cow for leaving her daughter distressed and alone and for placing that additional burden on the nurses.

So am I being unreasonable to think this?

Greenshadow Fri 17-Dec-10 19:47:06

I didn't leave my 13 year old alone a couple of years ago.

Ewe Fri 17-Dec-10 19:47:21


I would feel exactly the same however you don't know if she has other children etc. If she had other little ones and was a single parent I could maybe understand it.

TurkeyMartini Fri 17-Dec-10 19:47:37


If she wasn't staying because she had other kids waiting at home then I suppose that would be her only option. But just because she's "shattered"? Ugh. Never in a million years would I do that.

bluesheep Fri 17-Dec-10 19:47:42

YADNBU, that has made me so sad for that poor little girl sad

saffy85 Fri 17-Dec-10 19:48:41

YANBU sad poor little girl being left so miserable and distressed and frightened.

Hope both your DS and this little girl get better really soon and have a fabulous christmas.

eastendmummy Fri 17-Dec-10 19:48:46

That is awful! I can't believe she'd leave her overnight and then not bother coming in till 11am. YADNBU!

BringOnTheGoat Fri 17-Dec-10 19:49:15

If it really is that black and white - ie she fucked off then waltzed back in after a shed load of kip then YANBU.

It could be that she has lots on her plate, no support, other kids, single mum.

sad for the little girl though

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland Fri 17-Dec-10 19:49:20

Unless she had to - ie other children at home and no one to mind them. Otherwise, how horrible of her. 11 am in the morning too.

mumatron Fri 17-Dec-10 19:50:16


i had to sleep on a chair for 10 nights whilst suffering a pretty horrific miscarriage when dd1 had appendicitis. she was 4. we made sure she never spend a moment alone.

no excuse for it imho.

thisisyesterday Fri 17-Dec-10 19:51:08

sounds horrible, however you don 't actually know her circumstances.

you overheard ONE comment.

gobbledegoop Fri 17-Dec-10 19:51:09

No excuse for it. I never left my 10 year old alone for a minute when she was hospitalised with pneumonia for 5 nights last year and i'm a single mum. My dad, friends or the children's father looked after my eldest.

It makes me so sad to see sick little ones alone , i saw it too when we were there

sleepingsowell Fri 17-Dec-10 19:51:23

Oh dear - that does sound pretty unforgiveable. Poor little girl.
Hope your DS is on the mend very soon and better for xmas x

theresapotatoundermysink Fri 17-Dec-10 19:51:41

That poor little girl

rebl Fri 17-Dec-10 19:52:23

Hope your lo is feeling better. Unfortunatly sometimes parents have no choice but to leave their children in hospital. If they have other children at home and no one to stay with them then they have to go home.

11 am though shock.

magicmummy1 Fri 17-Dec-10 19:52:57

As others have said - depends on her circumstances. I wouldn't dream of leaving dd on her own in a hospital overnight, but she is my only child.

Poor little thing. Hope your DS is better soon - it's miserable when they're ill.

ChippyMinTurnAgainWhittington Fri 17-Dec-10 19:54:29

I slept on a window ledge (not as bad as it sounds - I had a little bit of foam!) for 10 nights when DD was a baby with bronchiolitis. I didn't even leave the ward let alone the hospital. And didn't see my other 2 DC in that time.

DylthanThroughTheSnow Fri 17-Dec-10 19:54:33


I would like to think that the reason she couldn't stay is because she had another child at home and couldn't get anyone else to look after them only because I can't bear to think of that poor little girl with such an uncaring mother sad but it probably isn't the case because she would of said this to the nurse rather than just "I'm shattered" sad

sheeplikessleep Fri 17-Dec-10 19:55:49


FrostyAndSlippery Fri 17-Dec-10 19:57:11

I'm amazed that's even allowed tbh - is there a minimum age for a child to be left alone on a ward overnight?

pozzled Fri 17-Dec-10 19:58:45

YANBU, although as others have said it is possible she was unable to stay.

I didn't even think you were 'allowed' to leave, when DD was in hospital at 15 months we were certainly under the impression that all her day to day care was our responsibility, not the nurses.

When my DH was with her for the night, another parent went out and left her DS for a few hours, and the nurses pretty much left him to cry- they didn't have the staff to do anything else.

Wallace Fri 17-Dec-10 19:59:44

We left dd aged 18 months alone overnight after her heart op. Obv she was in ITU at first and then HDU and when on the ward she was fine to be left and to be honest the nurses preferred it that way. We were staying in accomodation beside the hospital so not far away at all.

reallytired Fri 17-Dec-10 20:00:03

Poor baby. The only thing I can think of is that she must be a single mum with other kids.

Otherwise its insanely cruel.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Fri 17-Dec-10 20:00:45

You have no idea of her circumstances, and so, based on that, I think YABU. And judgey.

TurkeyMartini Fri 17-Dec-10 20:01:33

The night shifts are always more stretched as well, so there would have been hardly any chances for anyone to cuddle her -- I'm glad at least one nurse managed it.

Some people really are complete fucking tossers, aren't they.

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