to think babies are easy peasy?(58 Posts)
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Do you think some people just find some stages easier than others? Or do you think I had two very easy babies and I could be in for a world of pain next time? Or am I completely blocking out the hell it was and lying to myself?
I found the newborn stage hell on earth first time around, but when it came to number two all my friends agreed with me that actually (most) babies are ludicrously easy to manage if you know what you're doing and don't have a toddler to wrangle simultaneously (or some other complicated demands on your time).
You seem to have been one of the rare mothers who got the hang of it straight away.
I've just had ds2 two months ago 8 years after ds1
I convinced myself it was all unicorns and daisy's and i would be a great relaxed mum.
forgot about the night feeds, cracked nipples, shitty nappies,crying over nothing,endless washing, colic ect
Rose-tinted glasses fell off within 3 day of bringing ds2 home. Am now frazzled and smell slightly of pee thanks to a nappy leak(of course i cant shower till dh gets home).
Personally I found babies pretty easy, certainly compared to as they get older. On the other hand , children are far more interesting as they get older. I do, however , think you are very brave (or mad?!) to be going for number 3 after such a big gap, and I suppose you may find that this one doesn't turn out to be easy
I had an easy baby who is still pretty easy.(11)
A difficult baby who isn't much easier now(9)
Dd3 is easiest so far but only 2 months
Ohhhhh... DS1 is 8. DS2 is due in 5 weeks. waitwhat, you have scared me...!!!
They are when you look back on it! At the time it doesn't feel that way though
But yes, when I look back on the baby days - piece of piss! feed - change - cuddle - feed - change - cuddle - clean pools of sick off your shoulder - fall asleep into your dinner -
There's bog all to it.
Like I say - once you're done with it and you're looking back!
i think you were very lucky!
i thought babies were very, very easy when I had ds1. he was an absolute star.
then i had ds2 and realised what everyone else was on about
DD is infinitely easier now she's rising 3. We got the terrible twos out of the way early and she's a gorgeous little human being now. Am newly pg with dc2 and remembering the hell that was dd's first year. She screamed non stop for about 7 months. I will actually hack my head off if this one is the same. I'm surely due one of those nice docile babies.
I think what you're forgetting is the level of tiredness you have to cope with during that first year. Anything you do is 10 times harder with the fog of tiredness to wade through. Plus, you have to be able to read their minds and I was never much cop at that.
DC1 was the baby who never slept (in fairness to him, I was the mother who had no clue), DC2 was a doddle, DC3 had croup and cried for hours and hours and hours and DC4 was a doddle. So yes, you could be in for a world of pain but you might get lucky again .
Well I think you can rule out that you're blocking out how bad it was. If it was a horrible time then you'd remember.
You said yourself you found it hard from 3/4 - I found that age unbelievably straight forward and fun and lovely. Baby stage was a living hell - up to 12 months was really a big miserable slog.
We all adapt easier to different stages and demands. And yes, all babies are different , some are easier than others, some 3 and 4 year olds are easier than others.
Who knows whether you would always find the baby stage easy regardless of the baby or if you have had relatively easy babies.
I suppose you'll find out.
YANBU to consider your babies fairly easy.
YABU if you think they're all like that!
Hassledge - true. My eldest woke every 2 hours - yes, you read that right! every TWO hours, every single night, from the day he was born until he was 15 months old!
ds2 was born when ds1 was 15 months old...
And you know, we lived in a town house at the time. I was only able to bf for the first few months, then it was bottles. So every 2 hours one of us would go down 2 flights of stairs, warm a bottle, come back up and feed him. He'd then either be asleep when we got back upstairs, or finish the lot and scream for more then be asleep when we got back up with the second one, or have ONE swallow and go to sleep!
A couple of years ago, I turned to Himself and said "Why didn't we ever get a little fridge and kettle in our bedroom? "
agree it's all down to temperament - both yours and the babies.
I seem to give birth to screamy, non-sleepy babies, plus my own temperament is infinitely more suited to toddlers, so I'm sure that even if I'd had easy babies it wouldn't have been my favourite stage.
only one way to find out
Ah my DD was a dream baby- so easy.
I actually said out loud " I don't know what the fuss is about really, there's nothing to it"
DS shattered my illusions!
If DS2 had been born first he would have remained an only child. Having had a pretty easy DS1, DS2 with dreadful reflux came as a terrible shock and turned our lives upside down for a long time. He is now a very easy 3 year old though and has redeemed himself, wouldn't dare have another for fear of going through pure torture for 9 months + again. I shudder at the memories!
I always found my newborns easy, even DS1 who everyone else described as "difficult" because I didn't go back to work, and had no other children who needed me.
Once they hit 6 months and are crawling and teething and weaning I could gladly hand them over to someone else for a few years, until they have learned to listen to reason and and eat and put on their own shoes.
I had a very very hard work one and a really really easy one. Even the easy one had tricky moments but you do blank the bad bits out or we wouldnt do it again!!
By my reckoning, you are due a tricky one next
I think a lot of it is the combination of baby's personality and needs and your own level of incompetence and confidence.
You sound pretty good at this baby lark, by now, so you probably won't wander around trying to burp the baby very ineffectually, for example! Unlike me some people.
I loathed the baby stage. Well, not all of it- the babies were cute.
Hopefully you'll just have another bundle of joy, and won't have to consult books on demonic possession worry much.
I found it really easy when mine were babies aswell.I was 18 when I had my daughter and she was sooo easy I just couldn't understand why all these women were complaining about how hard their lives were.I had my son when my daughter was 18mths and I had another girl when my son was 13mths and I gotta admit it was a piece a piss LOL i've got 2 more now aged 3 and half and 18mths and I still say babies are easier but maybe I was just lucky!
Number one was easy from birth and he still is now.
Number two had bad reflux and teething issues. 15 months onwards has been a dream though.
Both times i found the sleeplessness exhausting but i was lucky they slept through at 5 months. The school run with a baby was hard going too. I love babies but adore toddlers much more. Love all the interction and chattyness.
I think it all depends on the child. Some babies are "easy" some are not. Some lie in their cots and drop off to sleep. Some cry constantly unless they are in your arms. Some sleep all night from the 3rd day. Some still don't sleep once they are 6 years old. No 2 experiences of parenthood are the same. No 2 babies are exactly the same. And parents find different stages more or less enjoyable depending upon their own personalities.
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