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after schol naps for reception kids

(16 Posts)
flabbygirl Fri 17-Dec-10 15:03:49

I think I know what the answer as because I've been a lurker for a bit.

Sticking my head out now but do you think that the fact I'm now working (only part time) and my dh picks up ds on my working days puts him to sleep after school and I come home about 5.45 and have to wake them BOTH up (and then dh goes to work) which means I have no evening to speak of as ds won't then go to sleep until 11.15. Unreasonable and not great for a kid that age?

Back history there but doesn't help with this story.

Am I being unreasonable as I then get no bloody sleep after I've done housework from 11.30 to whenever on a work day and ds wakes up tired and grumpy and then, of course, when he gets home from school he's bloody knackered and actually now needs a sleep.

TheSmallClanger Fri 17-Dec-10 15:14:16

No, YANBU. It sounds like the arrangement doesn't work.

Why does your husband insist he has a nap?

AuntiePickleBottom Fri 17-Dec-10 15:17:34

no way i'll be up to gone 3-4am if ds had a nap after school, he is 4.

you need to speak to your husband about this, what time does your husband finish work

LaWeaselMys Fri 17-Dec-10 15:18:53

That is pretty annoying.

Can your DS nap at school? I know a lot of reception classrooms have a quiet area with cushions, and especially the only-just-4-when-they-start kids will take themselves off for a nap.

Maybe worth asking the teacher about?

BettyCash Fri 17-Dec-10 15:23:44

Ask DH to put a DVD on for DS rather than creating a mutual nap habit? (Everyone happy)

flabbygirl Fri 17-Dec-10 15:29:57

Yep - thanks for that mnetters - I know I'm right. DS doesn't need a whole heap of sleep and dh is only putting him to sleep (along with himself) for his own selfish reasons.

Too late now but come new year I'm gonna shout at him. It's pure selfishness and he knows it's counterproductive.

DH from overseas and they did that in his country all those years ago - but, yeh, it suited that particular country and all those years ago and actually , we're in the UK, he must realise that.

It's causing problems for ds. I'm soooo pissed off. I can cope but it's not great for ds to be made so tired that he cannot cope with school and then needs a nap just after school and then entire crappy thing just perpetuates itself.

I will shout - many thanks. Of course I knew I was right too.

DH works long hours but on two of the days he picks ds up he's off work completely so if he wants to sleep (and watch his shite tv) then do - no excuse to get ds into the frame.

Many thanks all

thesecondcoming Fri 17-Dec-10 16:06:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Fri 17-Dec-10 16:13:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flabbygirl Fri 17-Dec-10 16:35:59

dh looks works long hours but not particularly longer hours than anyone else in London. He opportunities to change his work life but didn't take them.

Hum - on two of the days dh is off work anyhow and chooses to sleep all day so I don't see why he decides that sleeping again in late afternoon with ds is a great idea. It's not but he just so selfish and can't be bothered to play. It's causing so much havoc. I found a child minder with new hob and dh blocked it - but now can't cape having resonsibility for ds for less than 6 hours per week and we get all this shit.

I'm going nuts already. Half of me thinks just give up work if dh really thinks that having a ds up at all hours thanks to him yet the responsibility of the dm is OK.

Once I'm home dh passes all responsibility to me so I just get all this late napping (oh ffs napping at 5 years old?) in the neck. DS cannot even reach from his sitting position to get phone when when it rings. He's usually in the sitting position at home,


piprabbit Fri 17-Dec-10 16:40:49

No nap.
Early tea and straight to bed.

Your DH needs to change his approach - 6 or 7 hours of sleep a night is not enough for a 5yo IMO.
If he was getting 11 hours at night, he probably wouldn't need the nap.

muminthecity Fri 17-Dec-10 16:43:15

YANBU at all but it seems this is a habit they've both gotten in to. When my DD started reception in September she was exhausted and did fall asleep on the sofa after school a couple of times. I now give her dinner earlier (around 4.30ish) and she goes to bed at 6pm, sleeps through until 7.30-8am. Maybe you could get your DH to make a start on dinner when they get in instead of flopping on the sofa and bring bedtime forward a bit?

muminthecity Fri 17-Dec-10 16:44:00

Cross posted with piprabbit smile

flabbygirl Fri 17-Dec-10 16:44:50

Scuse shite typos - but dh relies on my very elderly dm to come up - she's in her '70's and riddled with illness. She drives but lives 2 hours away and cannot drive in this snow. At the same time he brings mil over from his country who's far, far younger but needs her chaperoned from her country with all the cost and time it involves. Then she stays months and cannot help out with dh as she won't leave our home.

Right - my dm is properly ill and it's snowing and she can't get here so I'm just organising with a friend to look after dh on one day next week when I'm working and dh working. DH would never consider finding childcare for ds. Yet he's the one who was completely against getting a childminder. He's lived here for almost 20 years and the fact he has no clue abour UK schooling timetable is really grating on me now.


flabbygirl Fri 17-Dec-10 16:50:56

I only went back to work 3 weeks ago (but have worked since ds born). DS is going along with dh's timetable which is, quite frankly, avoiding any normal wake/sleep shedule.

Not ds's fault int he slightest - he hasn't napped for years - he's actually kind of kid that doesn't need heaps of sleep and all our routine issues have been that whenever with dh he's just oversleeps and it all goes pear shaped. DH doesn't need 10 hours per sleep per day but he bloody makes sure he gets it and if on the odd days he's looking after ds he still ensures he gets it and makes ds sleep a couple hours too.

DS now saying he can take ds to work ont he one day we'r e both working. I'm tempted to say yes but I know it won't work but at the same time I'll be left scrabbling around for childcare when he changes his mind (he usually does).

I don't think it's normal for school aged kids to nap in the week. School hours don't allow for that.

flabbygirl Fri 17-Dec-10 16:52:10

Sorry dh now saying he can sort dh out next week - erm I'm just not so sure.

thesecondcoming Fri 17-Dec-10 16:54:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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