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to be tired of gritting my teeth and smiling about this?

(69 Posts)
SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets Fri 17-Dec-10 10:59:04

I am totally fed up with people commenting on my height.

It's not acceptable to say to a complete stranger 'ooh, aren't you fat' or 'gosh, aren't you coloured' or 'crkey, aren't you XXXX (insert comment of choice)'

Why, therefore, do people I have never seen before feel it is ok to come up to me and make comments about my height? It's not like I don't know I'm 6' 2". Believe it or not, I have noticed. No, it's not colder up here, yes, I do find it harder to buy clothes, yes, I have heard of Long Tall Sally, no, I haven't always dated men taller than me.

It's not even the little old ladies who want me to get something down off the top shelf in the supermarket that annoy me. At least there is a logic in that. Its the people who just strike up random conversations or make comments. They don't even realise they're being rude.

AIBU to come up with a couple of comebacks and then actually use them?


It's either that or carry a stun gun.

Actually, maybe the question should be AIBU not to use a stun gun.

TheBlessedVirginReality Fri 17-Dec-10 11:00:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dweezle Fri 17-Dec-10 11:01:47

I'm 6'2" and haven't had anyone comment about my height, adversely or otherwise, for years. Do get short people asking me to get stuff off shelves though grin

StripeyMoon Fri 17-Dec-10 11:05:01

Don't be fed up be proud! DH and I are both from tall famillies (although I'm only 5'10! he is 6'5") and I love being tall. It gives you all sorts of advantageous which I think far outweigh and negatives.

Poeple just make comment for comments sake, don't let them get to you.

PS I quite like being able to reach things that short people can't, that's why I put the biscuits on the top of the wall units in the kitchen!

Cyclebump Fri 17-Dec-10 11:05:46

YANBU to get annoyed.

My dad's 6ft7" and I still get annoyed when people feel the need to say something along the lines of 'You're big aren't you?'. Really? He's probably never noticed before.

He's quite chilled about it because he's now 61 and has had it all his life but I know he gets thoroughly sick of it. I'm 5ft10" and the shortest of his three daughters so I don't really get the comments but my younger sister, who's 6ft1" gets it occasionally.

StripeyMoon Fri 17-Dec-10 11:06:03

advantages even!

WriterofDreams Fri 17-Dec-10 11:06:09

Gosh I can see how that would get seriously annoying. I suppose people are just trying to make conversation, but it must make you feel very self-conscious. Have you ever turned it around on someone and commented on their appearance in return?
Such as:
"My you're very tall aren't you?"
"Yeah and you're quite fat!"

Or just make them feel silly for pointing out something so obvious, as in:

"Goodness you're tall"
"Well spotted" (withering glare)

It baffles me why people think it's rude to comment on others being fat but fine to point out that they're tiny/thin/tall/a redhead. Surely drawing attention to someone's appearance without it being a compliment is rude no matter what?

classydiva Fri 17-Dec-10 11:06:51

Im only 5ft 2" my boyfriend is 6ft 6"!

AKMD Fri 17-Dec-10 11:07:50

YANBU and I am slightly jealous, even taking into account the constant aggro.

Quite a few people seem to think it's perfectly ok to see my (black) DH and DS (9 months and so fair he looks Scandinavian) out together and more or less shout, "Ooo, isn't he white!" which is only slightly less irritating and offensive than when they ask if DH is sure DS is his!

ZacharyQuack Fri 17-Dec-10 11:08:51

Could you just stare at the top of their scalp and frown distractedly?

ReindeerBollocks Fri 17-Dec-10 11:12:05

I'm jealous, I'd love to be taller.

I'm teeny tiny(not posting height) and I get comments about being small all the time.

You have to have a few phrases to retort with, it makes the situation easier for you and probably will stop people making thoughtless comments about your height I future.

Disclaimer - I am trying to give reasonable advice but if one more person 'jokes' about putting me on top of the christmas tree again I may just scream angry

ReindeerBollocks Fri 17-Dec-10 11:12:50

*in the future

Cyclebump Fri 17-Dec-10 11:14:24

Ooh actually, have suddenly remembered that dad did once dramatically start peering around with a look of utter bemusement and say, 'Oh my God, that's what it is? I thought I was just stuck in Lilliput!' Man who'd uttered the comments (repeatedly) looked mortified.

GetOrfMoiLand Fri 17-Dec-10 11:15:25

I am 6 foot and love it, i would like to be taller.

i get the 'what is the weather like up there' comments (especially since I wear high heels all the time) and I just laugh and say sarcastically 'you know what, nobody has ever said that to me before' and they laugh it off with good grace.

I don't think people mean it maliciously (apart from poisonous shortarse little middle aged men with napoleon syndrome) so it doesn't bother me.

I was called a long streak of piss at school. I didn't like that much!

thumbplumpuddingwitch Fri 17-Dec-10 11:16:25

It's just another thing that people think it's ok to comment on because it's not something they can experience themselves.

I have no idea why people find it necessary to make personal comments of any kind, tbh, but they do - it's trying to connect in some way but in this case (and many others) failing dismally.

pickledsiblings Fri 17-Dec-10 11:16:42

My retort is usually something like 'I like being small, do you like being fat?'

I know what you mean about gritting your teeth and smiling OP.

SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets Fri 17-Dec-10 11:16:53

I love being the height I am and I'm very proud of it - I'm from a tall family, my brother is 6' 5".

I think I need to work on my withering glare. Any hints and tips?

The thing is, if I do get up the nerve to say something like 'Really? I hadn't noticed' then generally they say 'ooh, erm, what?' and I have to say something back which kind of defeats the point of it. Then they say I'm being rude.

And I don't like being rude. Generally speaking they sneak up on me from behind in supermarket queues, at the dry cleaners, in the pub etc so I don't have time to notice anything to comment on.

Maybe I should just walk backwards everywhere?

Hmmm. It's a dilemma.

AKMD - I think your DH should say 'I know, I stole him' grin

ClenchedBottom Fri 17-Dec-10 11:17:57

Hmm, I have said, "No, I'm on stilts" before which throws people a little as I'm obviously not on stilts.......

But then I don't like being tall (and am only 5'11 anyway!) - I'd love to be 5'7 and am sad to think that I must have been that height once but was too bloody young to appreciate it at the time!

AMumInScotland Fri 17-Dec-10 11:18:02

I don't think you need witty comebacks as much as you need to perfect your expression of total disbelief that they would say that. Worked right, rasing an eyebrow in silence while giving your best "Nutter alert" face can have people stammering and apoligising without you even having to open your mouth.

The shelf thing is fair game - even at 5ft 7 I'm asked to get things off the top shelf, as I outreach little old ladies by enough to be worth a try. But total strangers walking up to you to comment on your appearance must be hell.

twirlymum Fri 17-Dec-10 11:18:39

My sister has the same problem.
She used to have a real problem finding shoes (she's a size 9) but more shops seem to stock them now. I remember her crying when she was younger as there was no choice for school shoes.

She did see the funny side though, when a transvestite bought all the shoes she was selling at a boot fair grin

MsKalo Fri 17-Dec-10 11:18:48

some people are so bloody rude! i feel for you OP

SnowyIcyFrostyRinglets Fri 17-Dec-10 11:20:08

I love the Lilliput comment!

I'm also going to work on the Noone has ever said that to me before thing, GetOrf.

And you're right, it is usually small men with Napoleon complexes. And it's not normally malicious.

I just don't like being made to feel like a freak. Which is what someone said to me this morning sad

StripeyMoon Fri 17-Dec-10 11:26:18

You're not a freak, you are tall and beautiful. An Amazonian princess!

ClenchedBottom Fri 17-Dec-10 11:32:22

I think quite a few short blokes struggle to deal with much taller women.

Cyclebump Fri 17-Dec-10 11:32:53

Someone called you a freak shock

Clearly they have issues.

The shelf thing makes me laugh, my DP is 6ft4" and we were once followed round the supermarket by two middle-aged ladies so that he could get them things off the top shelves. He blushes but doesn't mind doing it. His siblings are also tall but his mum's only about 5ft so he reasons that he'd like someone to help her if needed shelf assistance.

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