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To not want to change my plans for Christmas morning?

(84 Posts)
follyfoot Thu 16-Dec-10 17:22:49

DD has always wanted to go to New York, its her big dream. I got made redundant in October and got some redundancy money and luckily, last week I got another job so will be earning again from the new year. As a huge surprise for her, I've booked a trip to NY for the two of us (DH not interested grin ).

Have got it all planned for Christmas morning so that when she opens her pressies first thing, there will be some NY themed things in amongst her other small gifts, and as she unwraps more things, the gifts will give bigger hints, so the last two are a luggage strap with US appropriate padlock (its got a USA flag on the packet) followed by two USA plug adaptors....then we'll give her the tickets. Cant wait to see her face. She and I had a very tough time in the past (DV) and it will be the trip of a lifetime for us. Have spent ages planning the build up to her finding out on Christmas day.

My Mum has been in touch to ask us not to give her the tickets until she gets there (lunchtime). Sorry this will prob sound v selfish, but she always opens her pressies at breakfast time and I dont want to do anything different this year to make her suspect there is a huge surprise is in the offing. Because of the way the small presents will drop hints, we'd have to not let her have any gifts in the morning at all. Am not normally a control freak, but have spent ages planning this and its making me smile just thinking about the build up to the BIG present!

Should I abandon the plans and not give her the ticket until my Mum and the inlaws get there? Have offered to video it all with the new camera I might be getting for Christmas from DH grin

FioFio Thu 16-Dec-10 17:24:32

Message deleted

MsElleToe Thu 16-Dec-10 17:26:31

How old is DD? Would she bothered/suspicious if you said let's wait for the GP's?

Alternatively could the GP'd get there earlier?

Vidoeing it seems a good compromise (as lonng as you can work the new camera and it's charged up etc) smile

scurryfunge Thu 16-Dec-10 17:28:55

Depending on how far away your mum lives, could your mum join you for the present opening and then you follow her back for lunch later?

follyfoot Thu 16-Dec-10 17:30:17

She's 17. She would wait, but she would find it veeeery odd if we waited, its something she's never done. The GPs cant get there any earlier, have tried that.

The bit about being able to work the camera is sadly very relevant!

soapydishcloth Thu 16-Dec-10 17:30:23

I agree that DD's age is relevant - could she open presents from other people and leave yours until GP's get there?

This has always been a bit of an issue with me - MIL insists on being there when the DSs open their presents and they're 16 and 14 ......

follyfoot Thu 16-Dec-10 17:32:33

She's getting a lift with the inlaws (all of them are over an hour away) and the inlaws arent free until 11ish so coming over any earlier isnt possible, nor is my Mum driving up as she doenst drive any further than round her village any more.

MadreInglese Thu 16-Dec-10 17:32:45

I think if they have contributed to the present then wait, if not then let her open it whenever you want

She will be just as hyper about it (if not more so, having had time to get really excited) when they arrive later

PaxoIsEvil Thu 16-Dec-10 17:33:00

I wouldn't wait. This is a surprise between you and your DD. I'd do it exactly as you've planned

diddl Thu 16-Dec-10 17:33:27

I´d let her get them when GPs are there.

It´s not as if she´ll be expecting it, so won´t feel as if there´s a present missing.

follyfoot Thu 16-Dec-10 17:35:40

diddl, I cant just hold one present back, it would have to be everything (see OP.

PIE - thats sort of what I think, but I wondered if that was being a bit arsey of me, and no they havent contributed.

PsecretSantead Thu 16-Dec-10 17:35:49

Why don't you suggest to her opening the presents after lunch, as it is the adult thing to do?

If she doesn't go for it, at least you tried

RockinRobinBird Thu 16-Dec-10 17:36:32

I wouldn't wait. Agree it sounds like something special between you and your dd. You've obviously planned every last detail and I would hate to change it if it was me. Ordinarily no biggie but this is special (and sounds amazing, have a gorgeous time!)

Fibilou Thu 16-Dec-10 17:37:08

No, you have spent considerable care and thought to arrange this and you don't want anything to spoil the surprise or give it away at all. You've either got to wait till later for the whole lot or do it all early - but you've got to do it all together

expatinscotland Thu 16-Dec-10 17:37:28

What Fio said. Tell your mum and she can like it or lump it.

I can't believe all these parents who expect themselves to take priority over their own grandchildren. They need to get over themselves big time!

MsFC Thu 16-Dec-10 17:38:13

I think you should go ahead as planned. It's your present and your plan.

nickeldonkeycarrymary Thu 16-Dec-10 17:38:35

I say to your Mum, Tough.

It's not her gift, it's yours. You've spent ages on the surprise and planned it out, why should your mum get any of the glory?


that sounds really harsh, doesn't it?

but if she can't be there for the opening, I don't see why that's your problem.

alicet Thu 16-Dec-10 17:38:57

Do it exactly as you have planned.

WHile I can understand your Mum wanting to be there to see your dds face I think if she can't get there earlier she can suck it up. Fact is she can drive so if she really wants she can get in the car and get herself there.

curlymama Thu 16-Dec-10 17:39:19

I wouldn't wait either. I know how you feel, i did something simelar for Dh's 40th, and I was so excited to give it to him, I'd played the moment in my mind a million times before the day came.

If there are lots of people there they will all be staring at her waiting to see her reaction, it will give it away and it just won't be the same. This is something special that you have worked hard for, you don't owe it to anyone to share it with them.

TwinklePants Thu 16-Dec-10 17:39:22

As long as it won't tip her off by waiting, I would be tempted just to hang on a bit, especially if she has other gifts (not NY related) that she can open in the morning. It won't spoil the suprise at all - she'll be every bit as thrilled as if you did it in the morning, maybe more so as she won't be expecting such a big gift.

No wonder you are excited for Christmas - I am excited on your behalf, I bet you won't sleep a wink on Christmas Eve! you sound like an ace mum - I would love to go to NY just me and my mum. Your DD is a very lucky girl!grin

TwinklePants Thu 16-Dec-10 17:41:08

Just to add, if you think it would tip her off in the slightest, I wouldn't wait. It's not worth it to risk spoiling the surprise.

Anyway, I don't think your Mum will be too miffed if you don't hold out. DD will likely be giddy all day, it defo won't have worn off by lunchtime!

IAmReallyFabNow Thu 16-Dec-10 17:42:17


This is about your DD and you and a special trip. Do what you always do.

RJRabbit Thu 16-Dec-10 17:42:46

Could you ask your Mum to stay the night Christmas Eve?

diddl Thu 16-Dec-10 17:43:09

Why would the fact that you have bought NY themed stuff make her think that she will be getting a trip there?

IAmReallyFabNow Thu 16-Dec-10 17:43:35

I don't get the it is the adult thing to do waiting to have presents until after lunch.

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