woooh just had my head bitten off.(23 Posts)
Mind you my mil couldn't come and see her grand-children in any christmas productions etc because they're too busy looking at houses online And also have a dentists appointment in December.
Oh that sounds just like sort of thing my mum says! Think the older my parents get the less spontaneous they are.
My retired dad can allocate an entire day to 'admin' ..
I'm in a panto (professional one) and my mil and fil are too busy to come and see it, with my ds (free tickets too!). Weirdly thay can come and see it on a performance date that he is not available for as he is at a party...
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
YA*D*nbu. My IL's said me, DH, and DD couldn't stay with them because we hadn't given them enough notice. They lived in a six bedroom house and we'd told them a couple of months in advance that we would be flying to the UK from Thailand on X date.
DH planned to stay in a hotel for a couple of days, I didn't go to see them. Cunts they are.
I'm starting to think that this [overestimating how busy you are] is a symptom of early retirement.
I know several women who are in their sixties and I am astonished on an almost daily basis about how much they enjoy to tell me about how busy they are (with normal everyday stuff). I wonder if it is a need for routine now that the structure of paid employment isn't there.
The ILs do it too. I have to bite my tongue when they appear to be being difficult by telling you that yes they can pick up DS from school (as in an emergency only - hapens approx once every six months!) but MIL does the shopping on a Wednesday, so they will have to rearrange that. Once it was difficult for them because they had to watch SILs dog....next week! OMG!
Yup, defo an old folks thing. I've only just persuaded my Dad that he can see my sister for one evening in the week between Christmas and New Year, in spite of the fact that he is hosting a party on New Year's Eve. He was going to cancel, even though he's cooking all the food and freezing it this week and I've offered to come and help clean the house before his guests come!
My parents do this a bit too - although to be fair, they WIL rearrange stuff to help us and are fabt with DD. I think it is a case of the things you have to do expanding to fit the time available IFYSWIM. Also my mum is a bit of a worrier, so even a fairly short journey has to be planned and worried over. They are in their 70s now though, so I try and bite my tongue....because I know they mean well.
Kreecher your example left me flabbergasted!!
Sign my retired dad up to this one as well. I asked him the other day if he'd like to come out and spend some time with me and DS when I had a rare day off. He said he couldn't as it was his housework day and he had to mop the kitchen floor.
Ach, my mother is like this "For god's sake colditz, I work thirty hours week, I don't have time to do anything at the weekends!"
(But mum, you don't ever work at the weekend. You work 6 hours a day. Then you go home and have some lunch. Then you put a load of washing on. Then you cook some dinner. Then you eat it. Then you fall asleep with a small glass of vodka and the dog.)
Totally understand. I have learnt that my mum gets freaked out if she is asked to do something spontaneous. So I now try to suggest it in a non-committal way and then say 'why don't you ring me back when you have thought about it?'.
Think she can't quite process all the information at the same time somehow. And actually sometimes (if I am tired/ill/pre-occupied) then I can feel the same way
Can we just bitch generally about unreasonable parents here?
My father, from whom I was estranged for the best part of 15 years, before making contact again when DS was born. We have seen him twice in the last year (us going to him) and he has been very good about staying in contact and birthday/christmas presents for DS etc. I recently spoke to him on the phone to tell him we were moving from London to Bath - he lives in Newcastle. His response "Ooh, don't you think that is a bit too far away?"
Why? Why? How many times in the last decade and a half have you decided to pop by for a cup of tea? Were you planning on calling in to see us on your way from Newcastle to Exeter to do the shopping? Fill the car up at the garage at the end of our road in London before driving it back the 300 miles to Newcastle? Seriously!
my mum is incapable of doing more than one thing a day. phone call example
me - hello mum i have been given a hospital appt cancellation for this afternoon.
mum- oh thats great.
me- can you look after DD for me just for the hour?
mum - oooo im not sure i have to go out to day and i have to get the dog his spot on.
me - and?
mum- i told you i have to go out and get the dog his spot on. (sigh) i suppose i could but you can't be here later than 12.
this is typical. she moans about how busy she is when on asking its stupid things like getting the dog his spot on or doing her food shopping. things that would take MAX 1 hour.
i don't understand her mentality. she is retired with just her dog and my dad to look after. at one stage in her life she had 3 tween daughters, a baby, a mother with parkinsons living with her and she worked full time as a hv, but now she is somehow always "busy"
They get "set in their ways", you know.
Having said that - my Dad, I can't fault him - he is on a mercy mission to procure something for me today so a friend can bring it out with her to Australia - she's leaving this afternoon and was supposed to have got it herself but left it til the last minute and couldn't get hold of it. So Dad, bless him, is fitting it into his (genuinely) busy day to go and get the stuff and get it to my friend so I can have it when she turns up at the weekend.
Thanks Dad! You are a one in a million Dad and a complete star.
'spot on' is that flea stuff you put on the back of their neck.
I'm half torn between being terror of getting set in my ways like that and resentment every time I am asked to actually leave the house in the evening.
My MIL makes comments like "well you've got more time for things like that than me", insert, cooking, cleaning, having my hair cut etc.
She works 20 hours a week, her DH is retired and does a fair amount around the house.
I work 30 hours, I'm doing a MSc, I have a 6 yr old DD, my DH works 12 hour shifts and does very very little around the house.
What is she busy doing?
Shopping, meeting friends for coffee and reheating M&S ready meals.
Monday was like this for me. I am now 40wks +3 pg and Monday was my birthday AND estimated due date. Knowing Dp was working I asked my retired parentals over... Dad can't "fit me in" this week (a direct quote) as he has lodge Christmas do, domino club luncheon and a Merchant Navy function. Mum has some European businesswomen's luncheon, THREE Christmas do's and some fragrance party.
I wouldn't mind so much, were it not for the fact that their social life is better than mine and I spent two hours of my birthday trying to find ways to angle the mirror so that I could trim me fanjo.
I can sympathise.
My Mum retired from teaching in Sept.
She always seems to be busy but it mostly involves having to go food shopping.
How many times in one week do you need to go food shopping?
If she pops in on one of my days off for a coffee she will drink it and be off again in about 10mins, stuff to do you know.
I think that the stuff she does just expands to fill the time she has. She still gets up at 6:30 every morning, and I honestly have no idea how she manages to keep busy all day.
I think she is secretly sitting at home, eating hobnobs and watching daytime tv but wants to keep up the pretence of being ridiculously busy!
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