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To expect MIL to trust me to ...

(13 Posts)
Yulephemia Tue 14-Dec-10 21:56:25

... know when DH's birthday is?
Every year she gives me a bag with reindeer and Santa and shit on it, and a bag with blue patterns and male-type symbolism on it for DH. A card is attached to the latter stating "DS BIRTHDAY 24 Dec".
Well, duh. hmm After 17 years I think she might expect me to be able to deliver the correct bag of shite destined for the charity shop presents on the correct day.

Ooh get me! How nasty! It's been a hard life week, ok? grin

tabulahrasa Tue 14-Dec-10 22:10:50

is she one of those people that buys presents in January for the whole year? I've got a friend that does that and marks who they're for and when so she remembers - so it might be for her benefit rather than yours?

maddy68 Tue 14-Dec-10 22:36:31

my aunty does that, she buys them all in advance and then writes the names and dates on them so she can remember.

I doubt very much its because she doesnt trust you to remember lol

poor MIL's they have a hard time dont they

LionsAreScary Tue 14-Dec-10 22:40:08

God I dread the day I become a MIL. Looking on here you get the impression they can't ever get it right.

Yulephemia Wed 15-Dec-10 09:18:20

I think she can't really cope with Christmas herself, and transfers her anxiety onto everyone else! She gets quite anxious about most things these days, especially since she was widowed and doesn't have FIL to bounce ideas off/help her get stuff organised.

She gave me instructions three times on Sunday as to which bag was Christmas and which was DH's birthday. hmm I was also given instructions on how to climb the ladder to the loft and bring down the bag with the Christmas tree in it three times. Oh and on the way up the ladder she was at the bottom instructing me on where to put my feet and hands. confused (This is the loft DD's not allowed in until she's 12, for reasons that make no sense to anyone.)

When I am retired I will not be living in freezing cold Scotland unless DD is here - I will be away in Australia/Malta/anywhere, living it up and not giving a stuff about Christmas cards, etc., etc. I refuse to spend my twilight years getting all anxious about shit that doesn't matter!

moondog Wed 15-Dec-10 09:20:25

That post makes me so sad.
A loving mother looking out for her baby (as he always will be) and you slagging her off to all and suyndry.

Cretaceous Wed 15-Dec-10 09:22:30

I think you should cut out your post and file it away. Then bring it out in thirty years' time and give it to your children-in-law grin. It happens to us all, whatever we think when we're young...

werewolf Wed 15-Dec-10 09:26:01

I think she's just trying her best to be organised and the tag is for her benefit, not yours.

Re the loft thing, she was only looking out for you. As you get older, I think it's easy to forget how able-bodied younger people are. She's probably reminding herself all the time to take care as she lives on her own and doesn't want to fall.

Cut her some slack.

SantasENormaSnob Wed 15-Dec-10 09:26:46


Yulephemia Wed 15-Dec-10 09:31:30

You only have a small picture of MIL here - the woman is a lazy, bigoted, selfish, stingy old cow and DH can't stand her.

In order to keep the peace and to allow DD to have some kind of relationship with her Grandma, I do all the visiting and dealing with her and her nonsense. DH grudgingly sees her about twice a year.

Quite often she gets on my nerves. I cut her lots of slack, thanks, by not screaming at her and having anything to do with her at all.

moondog Wed 15-Dec-10 09:35:45 stealth eh? grin

werewolf Wed 15-Dec-10 09:54:11

'lazy, bigoted, selfish, stingy old cow'

Well she can be that and be anxious about her concerns and worried about you falling off a ladder.

HelenaRose Wed 15-Dec-10 10:01:40

My grandparents always used to write my birthday on the back of envelopes; I loved it! Like "do not open until 12th Dec!" and such.

But, er, yeah. How dare she ... er. Give presents to her grandchild.

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