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to wish DH wasn't so naive/blind

(14 Posts)
laserel Tue 14-Dec-10 21:43:34

We went out with his 2 sisters and their husband tonight. They are so nasty to him, they both have degrees and he doesn't so they take the piss out of him for it saying things like "shall I explain it in simpler terms so you can understand". They also mock his car and at the end of the meal one of them sarcastically waved some notes in front of his face.

This isn't the first time they've done this and it really upsets me to see him belittled like this but he insists its just teasing and that they maybe they go too far but they don't mean to be malicous (he thinks they love him and would be there for him if needed). I think its very deliberate and nasty and frankly if I/we never saw them again then I wouldn't mind as it upsets me to see them belittle and humiliate him like this, why can't he see it.

MadamDeathstare Tue 14-Dec-10 21:48:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Tue 14-Dec-10 21:50:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BringOnTheGoat Tue 14-Dec-10 21:51:48

IME men tend to bond in a piss-takey way - is it possibly that or are they really horrible?

Maybe DH doesn't want a fuss. You could create that fuss for him or jsut ignore them too. They sound immature and pathetic fwiw.

seteer Tue 14-Dec-10 21:54:54

YADNBU I wouldn't allow anyone to speak like that to my DH, it sounds pathetic

PinkIceQueen Tue 14-Dec-10 21:55:35

My brother treats me in this way, he calls it teasing, I call it childish. Either way, he is the 1 that ends up looking like an arse for his bad behaviour.

MadamDeathstare Tue 14-Dec-10 21:59:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seteer Tue 14-Dec-10 22:02:17

I don't know madam I'd happily fight my DHs battles if he was being disrespected or bullied in this way even if he didn't see it

SleightiesChick Tue 14-Dec-10 22:04:44

Same here seteer. It's often easier for a non-family member to do. I would think about how to handle this and say something next time - there are some good suggestions here. IME, a horrified face and a 'WHAT??' often stops things like this in their tracks.

laserel Tue 14-Dec-10 22:05:04

They have always been like this although its got a lot worse recently, it was the waving of 5 £20s in front of his face and the belittlement of how much he earns that really wound me up. Its probably not helped by the fact my sister wouldn't even think about talking to me in this way.

Adversecamber Tue 14-Dec-10 22:08:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tecerel Tue 14-Dec-10 22:13:55

I have a degree but my brother doesn't and I probably earn more than but I would never dream of saying that to him.

huddspur Tue 14-Dec-10 22:28:45

I have a degree and my sisters don't but I would even think about saying anything like this to them as its extremely obnoxious and nasty. Add to that that my sisters in the army and could beat the daylights out of me.

curlymama Tue 14-Dec-10 22:38:25

I think MDS's responses are good. You don't need to talk to your dh about using something like that, he won't see that you mean it in a horrible way, in the same way that he can't see that his sisters mean what they saying a derogetary way. Their husbands won't see it either, but they are probably being manipulated to within an inch of their lives without realising it too. Men simply don't pick up on the bitchiness between women. Be prepared OP, and be better at their game than they are.

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