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to not expect DH to call me lazy?

(35 Posts)
JingleJulezbooBells Mon 13-Dec-10 16:44:15

Ok hormonal rant coming up.

I am 31 weeks pregnant, I have had both of my boys off sick since last tuesday, they would have gone back today but for some reason school decided to have an inset 4 days before they finish for christmas.

I have SPD and nasty Rib flare so not mobile enough to take them out and about. TBH household tasks prove a challenge at the moment. They have been cooped up for days, they have bitched and fought all pissing day long.

Yesterday I cleand the hous top to bottom with the exception of the two loads of washing that was ther because DH promised to do it. Washing is still there btw.

I just asked him not to be too late home from work, we need stuff from teh shop, the boys need tea and his reply was "ill be home no later than 7:30pm and to be fair you can make them tea and stop being so lazy angry

Probably a good job hes not here, else I'd have punched him in the face. Now im "getting my knickers in a twist"

FrostyAndSlippery Mon 13-Dec-10 16:46:05

OMG. Give him a punch in the face when DH returns please!

AliBellandthe40jingles Mon 13-Dec-10 16:48:57

Oh my god Julez that is unacceptable. To be honest it would be unacceptable if it was a question of either having had sick children or the problems you've had this pregnancy.

I would be tearing a strip off DH if he said this, and expecting a grovelling apology.

Aims80 Mon 13-Dec-10 16:49:02

Give him both barrells. What a dick.

BootyMum Mon 13-Dec-10 16:50:12

How disrespectful to speak to you like this!

I would be furious too.

booyhohoho Mon 13-Dec-10 16:52:13

show him your OP. he clearly thinks pregnancy with two young dcs and SPD is a doddle.

JingleJulezbooBells Mon 13-Dec-10 16:52:31

Oh I teared several strips off him and told him i will make the kids and him dinner then throw his at him angry

I am sat here crying in a hormonal mess now. He knows how much pain I am in. I cant even go the shop for the things we need because he has the car Not essential things i have ran out of chocolate

chitchatinsantasear Mon 13-Dec-10 16:54:09

Oh god, nasty rib flare? I had inflammed ribs with DS1 and it felt as though I was being stabbed with a knife from week 16 all the way through to week 37. If that's what you've got your DH is lucky to be alive after that bloody comment!!!!!

MadamDeathstare Mon 13-Dec-10 16:54:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MadamDeathstare Mon 13-Dec-10 16:55:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

overmydeadbody Mon 13-Dec-10 16:56:17

Your DH is well out of order.

Will he be grovelling later or is thissort of comment not that unusual from him?

JingleJulezbooBells Mon 13-Dec-10 16:56:41

Chitchat - thats how it feels. All day and all night. I am scared to take anything stronger than paracetamol bcause im into 3rd trimester, so I am managing on that and deep freeze. I have a support belt for SPD but i can handle that pain, its the rib/shoulder/uuper back pain thats turning me into a miserable cow.

Right ribs actually stick out to the side quite a bit. One consolation is due to other reasons (clotting disorder) the consultant wont let me go past 38 weeks, so only 7 more weeks to go.

JingleJulezbooBells Mon 13-Dec-10 16:57:50

Over - he will be grovelling, no usual for him, can only assume he is stressed at work. No excuse though.

overmydeadbody Mon 13-Dec-10 16:59:17

Thank goodness Jules, at least it's not normal for him. No excuse of course. With any luck he will come home with chocolate.

faverolles Mon 13-Dec-10 17:01:24

YANBU
I am 33 weeks PG with none of your complications, and I would murder DH in his sleep at the moment if he said anything like that!
He owes you big time.
How I wish there was a way for men to experience the joy hmm of pregnancy. Because then they would definitely not make such stupid comments.

englandsmistress Mon 13-Dec-10 17:03:42

You cleaned the house from top to bottom with SPD.....?!! Youre a better woman than I. I could bearly wipe my own arse when I had it.

Unless you are by nature a lazy old mare and he's had enough wink

ledkrsbellyislikesantas Mon 13-Dec-10 17:05:39

Wtf? Get abloody take away delivered just for you 3.I did this yesterday when dh told me that all i seem to do is tell him to do things-i am 33 wks with spd and breathlessness and dd off school.It was worth it for him to walk in and inhale saying"mm that smells nice" me and dd were just stuffing it into our faces grinthere was of course none left for him.

scruffybird Mon 13-Dec-10 17:07:26

If it was the other way round though and you were at work until 730 and dh had been at home all day and then expected you after a long day at work to then get some shopping, how would you feel?
If you are well enough to clean house from top to bottom.
Not a popular opinion I know, but just trying to see it from his perspective

Fiddledee Mon 13-Dec-10 17:11:22

No punishment would be too harsh. I had rib flare with both and no SPD although morning sickness throughout. How the hell did you manage to clean the house I insisted on a cleaner - hire one now. Takeaway a brilliant idea.

Do your boys have any friends from school who could have them over tomorrow - you need a break.

fedupofnamechanging Mon 13-Dec-10 17:23:43

scruffy her DH has the car. Easier for him,I think, to stop at the shop on his way home, than for the OP, with her health issues and 2 DC to go out and get shopping.

My DH works full time and never complains about stopping off at the shop on his way home. After all, he uses the shopping too!

I can't see this from his perspective. Yes, he is out in paid employment, but the OP has been home with 2 sick kids, is pg, in pain and would like a bit of help/support from her DH. Instead he calls her lazy. I would bet money that his day has been no harder than hers.

AliBellandthe40jingles Mon 13-Dec-10 17:26:50

Absolutely legit to request that the working person stop off for shopping if the alternative is getting out the house with young children.

Especially in this weather, especially if you are PG and have SPD, and especially if the working person has the only car!

ledkrsbellyislikesantas Mon 13-Dec-10 17:30:33

scruffy i work full time in a very stressfull job,normally and i think nothing of stopping for a bit of tea on the way home as dh often works later and especially if he was ill, fwiw he has just finished and is on his way home and is stopping for a prescription for dd on his way back,normal marital stuff i think,have you ever had spd?It is soooo painfull.

JingleJulezbooBells Mon 13-Dec-10 17:39:26

Scruffy - Im asking him to come home early enough so I can go and get the bits we need, not exactly "shopping" just squash, bread, milk...

He doesnt have to work until 730pm and has quickly had a change of heart and is leaving work in the next two minutes. I cant walk very far, let alone chase my 3 yr old and we live in a valley so nearest shop would take me 3 hours to walk to without SPD/Rib Flare!

Yesterday was a good day for me, but even so, with all thats going on, I have still managed to keep on top of the houswork else it would go to shit. Baby could arrive any day now (waters went at 30 weeks second pg and DS1 was born at 31 weeks) so I am being prepared.

I am furious at him for calling me lazy.

Bunnyjo Mon 13-Dec-10 17:39:40

If DH had dared say something like that to me, I think I would have killed him gone slightly off my rocker at him.

I'm only 17wks pregnant with no 2, but have SPD again (and already, sob) and awful sciatica at the moment. I also had bad morning sickness until 15wk. DH has been working 6-7days per week for the last 12wks and he has been doing whatever housework I cannot manage, the shopping and much of the cooking when the morning sickness was really bad.

I agree with Fiddledee, get a lovely takeaway for the three of you and tell DH his dinner is still at the supermarket!

chitchatinsantasear Mon 13-Dec-10 17:41:17

OP, I truly understand the pain. Thank goodness for me I had it only with DS1 - coping with the pain and with other children at the same time would have been more than I could deal with!!!! It's quite freaky when you can see the ribs actually protruding out!

You're right though, the only thing that can really help is an anti-inflammatory which they can't give you in the 3rd trimester sad. However, in my case it stopped all on its own a few weeks before my due date. So there is hope that it won't last all the way through to 38 weeks. Also, I didn't have a repeat with DS2 so you won't necessarily have it with any future pregnancies (if you were so inclined, and if you ever let DH near you again grin!).

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