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To consider getting married just before we move house?

(25 Posts)
LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 16:30:04

Story is roughly this:

We've been engaged a year and saving up for a summer wedding. Half of this DP was a student and then for two months he was unemployed so savings are a grand total of £650.

We also now need to move house in the next few months as DP has got another (permanent job) two hours away.

I am really really sad about having to move. I love living where I live, I will have to leave so many friends and our community behind and start again where I don't know anybody at all.

Because of this I thought it would be really nice to move the wedding up and get married end of January/February time (if there are spaces at the registry office) so that it can be a bit of a leaving party as well as our wedding.

Negatives:
Obviously, our wedding fund is now bookmarked for rental deposit on a new place and moving costs. Although my dad (very kindly) is offering us £1000. So we can still have the wedding and lots of people for a drink and some food at the village hall. (the registry office is really expensive £350 so that and food/drink for 70 friends and family takes up most of £1000 very quickly)

We will be getting married right before we move house and trying to organise both at the same time.

DP would like something 'unique' which since our budget is small means we will have to put lots of time into whatever it is. And we don't necessarily have the time to do that.

Before anybody suggests we have a small intimate wedding and just go out for dinner after this would be my idea of hell. I don't get along with lots of my immediate family - although they will obviously still be invited to a biggish wedding where I can avoid them when I start fantasising about committing acts of violence.

So AIBU to still want to get married ASAP?

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Sun 12-Dec-10 16:34:04

I got married less than a month after moving house. I wouldn't recommend it. The move date was put back, inevitably, and we ended up getting the keys on the day of my hen night, which was a bit crap. Too much stress, TBH.

I ended up taking control of the wedding, and DH sorted the house move.

By the time we got on the plane for our honeymoon, we were both totally exhausted. From my experience, I'd say do one, get settled, then do the other.

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 16:39:28

There can't be that much to organise for a basic wedding though can there?

Possibly I am being super niave. But there won't be a sit down meal, party favours, band, new clothes, rings.

Probably wouldn't have a hen night or a honeymoon (no money for them)

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 16:42:25

Sure. Why the hell not?

Depends I suppose if you want to get married or if you want to have a wedding, iyswim.

If you just want to be married, nip down the registry office! Job done.

It's not really any work at all to get married.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 16:45:36

"There can't be that much to organise for a basic wedding though can there?"

nope.

we booked the registry office, went and bought an outfit each, turned up at the registry office, signed grin stood outside while a mate took some photos, piled into a pub for lunch after and went to the local in the evening, where the landlord who was a mate let us use the back room for free, wegot the local college catering students to knock up a buffet (they LOVE the opportunity!)

We had people staying over the night before and someone crashed the night of the wedding, next day business as usual except we were married.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 16:46:30

oh, we didn't book the registry office, go buy clothes and then go back the same day btw. in case it reads like that grin

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Sun 12-Dec-10 16:49:08

Hec, have you read the OP???:

"DP would like something 'unique' which since our budget is small means we will have to put lots of time into whatever it is. And we don't necessarily have the time to do that.

Before anybody suggests we have a small intimate wedding and just go out for dinner after this would be my idea of hell."

BrandyButterPie Sun 12-Dec-10 16:50:21

Our wedding cost less than that, and we had quite a big do

We had the very basic register office bit (£120) for just us, the kids and both sets of parents (plus my mate and Nana), but then we did a ceremony for a our friends a few days later (which is when our wedding anniversary is - the register office was just signing forms - we were in and out in ten minutes)

For the ceremony, we took over a little local theatre, had our ceremony on stage, then a big party with buffet, drunken uncles and so on.

It was great :D Didn't buy ONE wedding magazine, only wore a white dress because my mum wanted me to - just went into debenhams, found one in my size in the sale, tried it on, it fit, job done.

Rings were Argos - although in the end I ended up using a ring that used to be my nanas.

We were going to catch the bus to the wedding, but ended up just jumping in parents cars - I got changed at the venue to stop any posing, then we went to a local rock pub afterwards and had our wedding night in a local hotel.

Not a small quiet affair, but pretty cheap :D

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 16:51:53

Yes. I was saying that you can get married without any fuss if you don't care about making a big deal of it.

It's an alternative for someone who has indicated that she'd really rather just like to get married.

Don't see what's wrong with her putting it to her partner as an alternative.

I read op as just wanting to get married.

If OH wants unique he can always do a naked bungie jump afterwards.

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 16:52:14

Ah, but hec went to the pub after - so I'm assuming there were a reasonable amount of people and drunkness -

which I am totally okay with.

It would just be in a village hall instead of a pub. (Cheaper.)

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 16:52:29

oh, that was in reply to evil asking if I had read the OP.

BrandyButterPie Sun 12-Dec-10 16:52:53

I did the cakes myself- loads of edible glitter, lurid icing and rice paper butterflies, and our three year old and the bridesmaids made the decorattions.

I asked my friends to each make a cloth flower and I attached them all toagther to make the bouquet.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 16:53:12

so I'm assuming there were a reasonable amount of people and drunkness -

yes.

They bought their own.

And ours grin

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 16:54:33

I also think DP is being a bit daft with his 'unique' wish.

But one of his suggestions was making our wedding a foursquare event. hmm so he isn't necessarily talking about something elaborate and difficult.

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 16:55:36

We're not having a wedding cake either. Just some Pavalovas. (Easy as anything to knock up and look pretty - I can't decorate cakes for love or money)

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Sun 12-Dec-10 16:56:10

I read the OP and understood that the lower budget would mean a higher input of actually doing stuff, which would be potentially time consuming. Having moved house and got married within a month, I would say that there is no time to do both as you would want to, without getting stressed (I also started a new job 3 weeks before the move, which may have contributed though... grin)

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Sun 12-Dec-10 16:57:07

OP, you obviously want to, so go for it. Just make sure you've got some time off afterwards, even if you're not jetting off anywhere for a honeymoon.

FancyALittle Sun 12-Dec-10 16:58:17

Not at all! Three months before our wedding my OH was in a car accident and two weeks later my OH was diagnosed with cancer and underwent treatment, the next month we moved house (or rather, I did!) and the month after that we got married.

Seriously stressful, but getting married was the most important thing to us and nothing would have stopped us!

You can definitely do it. We got married in a church hall and nearly everything was homemade. Rope friends in to help on the day, letting them know exactly what is supposed to happen and when, and it will be fine!

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 17:00:10

To be fair EvilTwins, originally I wanted a lovely homemade wedding and it would all be pretty but cheap.

My demands have got a lot shorter because at this point I just want to get bloody married.

But I do still want a party after. Just of the village hall, chuck some nice table clothes and flowers in scrounged vases on the tables, ipod music.

I would have to do some of the food. (like the pavalova and probably some cake) And instead of a signature book we were going to stick some big A1 bits of card up with photos stuck on that people can sign.

Set up, and clear up.

I have told DP I would sort out wedding details, if he sorts out moving details which I don't mind either.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 17:02:22

really?

I met a man, moved in with him the same day, we moved together into a flat a few weeks later, got married 3 months after we first met, we gave notice on our jobs a month after we married, stuck a pin in a map and decided that's where we were going to, he went down while I worked my notice, found a job and a flat, we shoved all our stuff into the car and a van and buggered off there, I found a job and 3 months later I discovered I was pregnant. (add to that 1 x erbs palsy, 2 x autism, 1 x starting own business, 1 x failed business, 1 x bankruptcy, 3 x moving...)

I think people get too stressed about weddings and moving and shit like that, tbh. It does you no good at all. What's that really annoying wartime motto? keep calm and carry on grin

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Sun 12-Dec-10 17:03:35

arrgghh! stop posting while I'm typing grin The above was about getting stressed.

And was not intended as smuggery btw grin but as advice to not get yourself wound up about life stuff. Doesn't help.

EvilTwinsAteRudolph Sun 12-Dec-10 17:04:10

LaWeasel - that's what we did (he did the move, I did the wedding) and that actually worked out quite well. It meant he didn't have to pretend to be interested in flowers or table plans as he was busy talking to solicitors and chasing estate agents.

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 17:04:20

Does that mean I have permission from MN to tell DP to just get on with it and stop moping about stuff we can't afford atm? (Who knows if we ever could after all!)

LaWeaselMys Sun 12-Dec-10 17:06:38

I agree Hec. Life is too unpredictable.

But DP likes to plan, so I think suddenly saying 'well lets just do it in 6 weeks' when he was thinking of a summer wedding has caught him off guard a bit.

ohforfoxsake Sun 12-Dec-10 17:18:29

We married earlier this year, had a big old do, and moved 200 miles away the following month.
Yes it's mad, it's busy, and its hard work, but it's not impossible. All the moving stuff doesn't really happen more than a month before.

If you want it unique, a way round this is simply to personalise it. We chose the music that was significant, had a pub quiz, had a friend do playlists for dancing etc. Get friends involved, that will LOVE to be part of your day, share the work load. Weddings are only as fussy as you chose to make them.

Good luck!

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