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My husband is annoyed with me for being ill.

(58 Posts)
Dexterrocks Sun 12-Dec-10 13:04:27

We had a babysitter booked on Friday night so we could go out for a meal and to the cinema.
Over the course of the afternoon I started to feel really ill but tried to put a brave face on things.
By the time I had got dressed up and the babysitter had arrived I felt awful and we had to turn back 20 minutes after we left as I couldn't stop shivering.
I spent the night going hot and cold, aching all over, temp of between 39 and 40, being sick, unable to drink water etc - I'm sure you get the picture.
Dh refuses to do anything to help me and actually seems very annoyed with me for being ill. He is doing nothing to entertain the dcs either.
I spent the whole of yesterday unable to do anything. I have perked up today but I am still not well, not eating etc but he is barely able to speak to me and has become really sullen.
Am I unreasonable to have left everything to him on Friday night and yesterday, while I was ill or is it him?

RockinRobinBird Sun 12-Dec-10 13:06:31

Not unreasonable at all. DH is pissed off with me too but I've been ill for 3 weeks. I assume that if he was ill he would expect you to cater to his every whim?

Hope you're better soon

Nickoka Sun 12-Dec-10 13:07:16

He is unreasonable. Most def!

FrostyAndSlippery Sun 12-Dec-10 13:09:04

YANBU at all what's he like when he's ill?

Dexterrocks Sun 12-Dec-10 13:12:01

When he is ill he hides in bed. I go through and ask if he needs anything so he doesn't need to ask. (water, paracetamol etc) and I go to the shop for him if he has a particular need too.
I would also do everything for the dcs and make sure they stayed out of his way.

diddl Sun 12-Dec-10 13:16:15

Perhaps he´s pissed off that you didn´t cancel earlier?

Not that that excuses him, of course.

If I´m ill I go to bed, as does husband.

We tend to just pop up at mealtimes to see if any food is wanted.

Katisha Sun 12-Dec-10 13:37:29

Ask him outright - do you have a problem with me being ill and if so why?

ChippingIn Sun 12-Dec-10 13:38:50

Dex YANBU he is being an arsehole. He should be looking after you and the kids, letting you get some rest in the same way you do for him. You know what to do next time don't you - send the kids in to annoy play with Dad & don't take him anything. GIT.

Sorry your evening was spoilt on Friday & hope you are feeling better soon.

YankNCock Sun 12-Dec-10 13:40:50

what a dick. is this what he normally does when you are ill?

Limara Sun 12-Dec-10 13:48:36

Dexterrocks what do you want people to say? Of course he is being unreasonable. Bank this for when he's ill maybe?

Try and let it all wash over you, just think bank smile

feedtheyakandhewillscore Sun 12-Dec-10 13:49:49

YANBU I started with that bug on thur night-I was violently I'll for 4 hours- dh didn't once check I was ok. BUT I also gave it to him so come fri night when he was sick I gave him a bucket and left him to it!

My mum is a saint and had the dc.

thumbplumpuddingwitch Sun 12-Dec-10 13:51:17

Tell the immature prick to grow the fuck up.

LoudRowdyDuck Sun 12-Dec-10 13:54:53

YANBU - but are you sure he's being sullen, and not coming down with something himself?

Ephiny Sun 12-Dec-10 14:02:01

YANBU, I had a bug like that the other week, I thought maybe it was Norovirus? It was really unpleasant, so I do sympathise!

Of course he's being unreasonable though, it's hardly your fault you're ill and I'm sure you'd prefer not to be! Does he think you're making it up, or does he really not care? Either way it isn't good!

Anyway, you should be tucked up in bed or on the sofa, and he should be taking care of everything practical and checking regularly to see how you're feeling and if you need anything. And offering hugs and sympathy. Not sulking around the house and giving you more stress to deal with! angry

pollywollyhadadollycalledmolly Sun 12-Dec-10 14:10:29

YANBU at all. It's not like it's your fault that you are ill or that you are lying about it!!

Is he always like this when you are ill?? What happens when he is ill? I assume you take the best care of him, which is something that should be returned.

I do hope you feel better asap.

x x x

ChaoticChristmasAngelCrackers Sun 12-Dec-10 14:13:12


Your 'd'h, however, is being an immature twat and needs to grow up.

pawsnclaws Sun 12-Dec-10 14:17:24

OP he sounds delightful! Not all men are like this and I'm always amazed at what people put up with. I'm nowhere near as ill as you, just got a bit of a sore throat, and DH has so far got 3 dcs their breakfast, been to the shops to get some essentials, washed the car (with all 3 dcs hanging all over him), and got their lunch. He's just taken them (and the dog) for a walk to give me a break. I'm sat on the sofa being pathetic and watching telly.

sue52 Sun 12-Dec-10 14:18:12

Yanbu and your husband sounds like an ignorant, self centered arse.

MadamDeathstare Sun 12-Dec-10 14:22:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altinkum Sun 12-Dec-10 14:44:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dexterrocks Sun 12-Dec-10 14:56:06

And now he is having a tantrum about how hard it is to keep the place tidy, and how when you tidy up one mess another appears. Feel like shouting, "Welcome to my life!" except my throat is too sore from spuking. [angry}

RevoltingPeasant Sun 12-Dec-10 15:52:11

OP -- shock

I have only been really ill once since I've been with my DP and we don't yet have DCs, but when I was ill he

a made me a plain dinner I could keep down
b made me hot drinks so I could sit still
c gave up the bed to me and slept on the floor so I could have space to myself

I cannot believe your DH is sulking because you are ill! Because you chose to get sick, right, just to spite him.. hmm

I'd have it out with him when you're feeling better, and ask him exactly what he'd like you to do when you're ill -- give him his money back??

TottWriter Sun 12-Dec-10 15:53:17

Maybe make a little "Hello and welcome to the real world" placard to hold up for him if he gets arsey again.

Or send him our way and we can do the shouting for you.

LadyoftheHouseofLove Sun 12-Dec-10 16:05:12


Your DH will probably catch the same bug, these things spread like wildfire. Make sure you give him the same treatment if and when he does catch it (might help to breathe on him lots just to make sure wink )

ChippingIn Sun 12-Dec-10 17:14:23

Oh diddums - is he finding it hard to keep the place tidy (pout)

You need to book yourself a week away without him & the kids.

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