xmas difficulties(33 Posts)
I suppose it all depends on what sort of relationship you have. I have been shopping with my Mum, and if I see something I adore I would say, 'I'm not pressurising you, but if you were looking for inspiration for my birthday, I would love this.'
Mum would prefer to get something I really like. and I know she wouldn't be offended by my suggestion.
Why would you be dissapointed? You're not a child I assume? Peresnts for adults at Christmas are blessing not something you can expect to be something you want particularly.
You could in future suggest she spends less...but unless she asks you directly what you want you cannot say anything without appearing grabby.
textfan, it sounds to me like the actual present is not the issue - more the fact that your mum does not really think about what you would like. I don't have any advice, just wanted to say YANBU.
would it be worth talking to her? what do you think? not sure how I would phrase it though... maybe somebody will have some ideas...
You're not alone! My bil and sil always get me gifts with no thought behind them at all. I'd rather get nothing, or an Oxfam goat. At least it'd be nice for somebody.
What does she say when she sees you're disappointed?
Could you go go out with her for a coffee and tell her a story about a 'friend' who has a problem with her husband. He never listens etc.
Might be too close to home.
Or explain it to an understanding member of your family who your mum might listen to?
If it doesn't get resolved then you have to sort it out in your own mind. Accept there is no resolution, feel the pain and move on in your own mind.
I got a used two year old bottle of Estee Lauder (sp) perfume last year.. My parents are multi millionaires; it wasn't a money issue.
Sometimes they just don't give a shit; and (I'm 49 on Monday); it takes years to accept it.Wish I'd just cut to the chase years ago; but really only managed it since last year.
When you open it, say "Sorry, I can't make use of this so I'm going to return it to you." and just make sure you do. Don't make excuses or apologise further. If you are at their house, don't take it home. Yes, they'll be offended. They'll get over it.
Why don't you ring her and tell her that you have just bought the horrible thing that she has bought you. Then she will have to return it to the shops and get you something you really want.
I had this problem with my mother, it was never resolved (sigh). I am very fussy and she had very different...er, taste from me, anyway. Some of the stuff she sent was truly comical.
My dad and I don't exchange gifts and it's bliss! We are both too old to want people to buy us gifts, anyway.
I have this with MIL.
I would soooo rather she just got me a card, no present. I'm useless at hiding my feelings and I have to open my gift in front of her in her house.
She hands it to me and I'm thinking <what the hell is it going to be this year?! Just keep smiling.>
I peel back the wrapping <what the fuck IS it? No, please don't let it be another 2 for £5 dress thingy or another pair of spongebob slippers> (yes really)
Hold it up to admire <Jesus Christ what was she THINKING!>
"Thanks, it's lovely"
Anyway, that doesn't help you OP. The only solution I've come up with so far is to feign illness so I stay home and she sends my pressie back with DP then I can just sigh and put it to one side.
Receive it graciously and then ebay and buy something you'd have liked from her.
Im not going to be popular here .
you know youre gonna get a crap present,youve been subtle youve been unsubtle=live with it.
I have no family to buy me crap gifts.
My DM is completely and utterly lovely. However she buys me the WORST presents, and I too feel bad that she has spend money on things I will never, ever, use (nor am able to 'regift'!)
I should say something but don't want to hurt her feelings as on the contrary to OP, I think she puts quite a lot of thought into them. She just gets it spectacularly wrong.
I've tried telling her the kind of thing I like, but she says 'oooh I thought I'd get this because it's so unique and you can't get it down south'
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