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AIBU?

WWYD re Grandma babysitting issue

30 replies

Udderly · 11/12/2010 23:23

I left my EBF 5 wk old for the first time today, my mother took her. I left a fridge full of EBM. When i got home she told me that she gave her some water in the bottle - cooled boiled water - as she was still hungry after a feed (EBM and formula available). DD had a big puke up this evening. I googled and it seems that babies shouldn't have water until 6 mths, I don't know what possessed her.

My mother has been absolutely brilliant since I had DD, fantastic support, and today went really well for her. I don't know whether to say anything or not. I feel like I might hurt her feelings, and make her reluctant to mind DD again, but I don't know would it be worse to say it just before she minds her again. And, I don't know am I being a bit precious. I can get stressed at times when it comes to DD and I have already let fly at my poor mother a few times over minor things, I feel terrible afterwards. AIBU to say anything, would I be better to stay schtum?

OP posts:

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OldLadyKnowsNothing · 11/12/2010 23:26

No water till 6 months? Sheesh, I'd heard of the "no solids" guideline change, but not that one. So what happens if your baby is born during a really hot summer?

prettymuchapixiegirl · 11/12/2010 23:27

All of mine have had cooled, boiled water since they were tiny, I had no idea it wasn't meant to be given until 6 months. It hasn't done them any harm.

Maybe your DD was sick because she'd drunk a lot of fluid, so would have been sick whether it had been milk or water she'd had?

Louii · 11/12/2010 23:29

A bit precious, sorry.
Water will have done no harm, I'm assuming it was boiled water, more that it was just a pretty pointless exercise.
If baby was hungry more milk would have been the obvious choice.

Thought u were going to say that she had given formula to an EBF baby without your say so, now that would have been bad.

Udderly · 11/12/2010 23:30

Good, these are the exact responses I was hoping for. It could of course be a reaction to too much fluids or any number of unrelated to water things.

OP posts:

MoonUnitAlpha · 11/12/2010 23:32

You're right, breastfed babies shouldn't have anything but breastmilk (not sure if it's different for formula fed babies?). As a one off it won't have done any harm, but I wouldn't be happy about it either.

Next time she babysits, just casually let her know that if the baby is still hungry she can have more milk - no need to give her water.

LaDiDaDi · 11/12/2010 23:33

Please do not be cross with your mum, I'm sure that she thought that she was doing the right thing. I think that the "no water" idea is because of the risk of parents giving water rather than milk on a regular basis and the baby not getting adequate calories in the long-term. One bottle of water willnothave harmed her, I agree with pixiegirl, it was probably the volume rather than anything else that made her sick.

Please also think carefully about your mood and your anxiety levels. I really believe that heightened anxiety is actually a normal response to having a baby but if you feel that it is overwhelming or causing you problems in your family relationships then you might want to talk your feelings over with someone impartial, like your HV or here but not on the AIBU board.
Best wishes

BubsMaw · 11/12/2010 23:33

Sounds like she was just being a bit batty, like why would you give a hungry baby water anyway?! No harm done. If it was me I prob wouldn't even mention it.

Mowiol · 11/12/2010 23:35

Advice used to be that it was fine to give cooled, boiled water as babies can sometimes be just thirsty. But that was 20 odd years ago so thinking may have changed but can't see what harm plain water would do if sterilised etc?
Unless there might be concerns if it was hard water maybe?

DuelingFanio · 11/12/2010 23:37

"So what happens if your baby is born during a really hot summer? " a baby gets all the fluid it needs from the breast.

I would be annoyed and would let her know in a calm way that these days the advice has changed and there is no reason to give a baby water and ask her not to do it again but to just give more milk if the baby wants it.

MoonUnitAlpha · 11/12/2010 23:39

Mowiol - the problem with giving water is it fills babies' stomachs so they take less milk. It's unnecessary for a breastfed baby as milk provides for thirst and hunger. As a one off it won't do any harm but you wouldn't want it to become a regular thing. Giving the EBM would be better.

thesecondcoming · 11/12/2010 23:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumNWLondon · 12/12/2010 00:03

Ok a bit silly to give water when more EBM available but no harm done. Babies under 6 months don't need water but it wouldn't do any harm as a one off.

My baby was EBF but when I left him with the nanny or grandma during a hot summer day I left him with a bottle of water. Obviously if I was around I'd have offered him a feed very regularly as it was hot but if I wasn't around (for a couple of hours) I wouldn't want him to be thirsty.

Could it be that she didn't want to "waste" the BM? I left DS2 with my mum at 10 weeks, left bottles of 4oz. He finished one and my mum said she cuddled him to stop him from crying as she was worried that if she warmed up another bottle he wouldn't drink it and it would be wasted. Not ideal as he woke up during the night for the first time in ages, but no harm done.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 12/12/2010 00:39

DuelingFanio, it was me who asked about hot summers; what about FF babies? Isn't there a risk of over-feeding?

(It's just that In My Day, it was OK to give cooled, boiled water...)

ShanahansRevenge · 12/12/2010 00:43

I have never given it..on the advice of midwives...but I think a little is fine. You're not meant to as it fills them up and breast milk or formula is perfect for all their needs. It has fluid and food within it in perfct measures.

Just tell your Mum that water isn't recomended...not for FF or BF babies of that age...and why.

DuelingFanio · 12/12/2010 00:49

"what about FF babies? Isn't there a risk of over-feeding?"

I don't know. I don't know much about FF, or breastfeeding for that matter(am pregnant and hoping to Breastfeed). It's just that I have been told that there is no need to give a baby water even if it's very hot. Though I do understand that it was common practice in days gone by and so a lot of older people do think it's something parents should do. As far as i know it's just not advised today as it provides no nutritional benefit and a baby won't be dehydrated on just breastmilk/formula.

DuelingFanio · 12/12/2010 00:51

some info from Kellymom

Udderly · 12/12/2010 00:52

I don't think she was point proving or anything like that, I think she just got a daft notion. The next feed she gave an extra 2ozs of EBM, DD only took 1 of them and there were 6ozs left in the fridge so the wasting of it isn't the issue.
There probably is a bit of what was ok when we were babies is different to whats ok now. I had left a few little cartons of formula as I had no idea what DD would take, I estimated 4ozs per feed. I had told her I didn't want DD to have formula, it was just in case. I kinda found it weird that she took such a decision without checking with me first. Maybe its worth having the conversation for that reason alone.
I don't think I'm overly anxious or overwhelmed, more that my tolerance levels are lower at the moment and whereas I'd previously been quite passive, I'm now more likely to say something if its annoying me as I don't have the time to have the same patience with people.

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ShanahansRevenge · 12/12/2010 00:57

My MIL gae my DD1 all kinds of crap and she did it in innocence...it's a generational thing. They were SO much mre relaxed than us about all kinds of things.

I suppose your Mum did what she did with you when you were a baby and thought nothing of it.

Udderly · 12/12/2010 00:57

Just in case that wasn't clear coz it reads back a bit funny. She knew I had strong views about not using formula so I don'r understand why she wouldn't check with me before using water.
Can you overfeed a baby with EBM as a matter of interest does anyone know?

OP posts:

JarethTheGoblinKing · 12/12/2010 00:59

OP, it's not that BF babies under 6 months shouldn't have water, it's more that that they don't need it as the breast milk is more than adequate (apparently it changes so that it has a higher water content when it's hot!!)

I think FF babies sometimes need water when it's extremely hot as they can become dehydrated.

Agree with everybody else though, just outdated thinking and good intentions, it won't have done any harm.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 12/12/2010 00:59

Cheers, DuelingFanio. :)

Casmama · 12/12/2010 01:02

A little cooled boiled water is nothing to worry about. It is unnecessary for a bf baby but it won't do her any harm. I really wouldn't make an issue out of it with your mum, just mention the next time that your baby doesn't drink anything other than ebm even water is not necessary. If you are concerned about hurting her feelings then even say that you double checked as you weren't sure yourself. YOu can make your point without offending your mum I'm sure.

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Casmama · 12/12/2010 01:03

No you can't overfeed a baby with ebm, they may find it easier/less work than bf but babies are pretty good at regulating their own appetite and will just stop feeding when they are full.

Udderly · 12/12/2010 01:08

Thanks everyone for all of your opinions, I really appreciate them! I think on balance that I would be a bit unreasonable to say anything at the mo.

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ShanahansRevenge · 12/12/2010 01:12

No. Formula fed babis do not need water at such a young age. Its all in there.

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