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AIBU?

to think people take the whole boy/girl baby clothes thing much too seriously?

70 replies

MotherofHobbit · 09/12/2010 19:22

I've been thrown into the bizarre world of Babyland after the birth of my first DC six months ago and am constantly Shock at how much babies are stuck in little gender boxes especially with regards clothes.

Such as:
A member of my ante natal group 'had to' give away a whole bag of new clothes and buy new ones because she had a girl and not a boy.

Another was very amused because a family member was silly enought to buy her DD a very expensive designer shirt which was actually a boy's shirt. This was also given away as not suitable.

An woman on the street was horrified when I told her DS was a boy even though his little sun hat had a bow on it (horror!)

And finally (okay, okay this is the DM) but:

really?

Aaarrggh! They're babies! Is it really so horrifying to dress your little girl in blue, or boy in pink?

OP posts:
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NinkyNonker · 09/12/2010 19:24

Haha. Little boys used to wear pink because it was the watered down version of the very masculine red. Pale blue was for little girls as it was weak and washy.

DD was wearing little boy jeans today (3rd hand after 2 little boys!) and wears a lot of navy...I am forever being asked what 'his' name is, people do look shocked when I tell them! (Her name is very feminine.)

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porkchops · 09/12/2010 19:26

You're in the UK. This sort of thing is rampant. You either care and join or don't care and get on with your own way of doing things.

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DuelingFanio · 09/12/2010 19:26

Dannii looks amazing in that photo with Matt Cardle.

I agree MoH I don't know what the ex of my child is but have been given a lot of lovely clothes which were worn by a boy previously and I will use them if I have a girl. One of the reasons I didn't want to find out the sex was so that I don't gender stereotype my baby in the womb.

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Folicacid · 09/12/2010 19:28

YANBU!

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NinkyNonker · 09/12/2010 19:29

Sorry, meant to include YANBU. If that wasn't obvious from my post! Grin

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naturalbaby · 09/12/2010 19:32

if my 3rd dc is a girl then i'll be shunning pink dresses and putting her in her big brother's clothes. i won't be splashing out on a whole new set of pink and frilly baby clothes several times a year when i've got a house full already. if it were the other way round i don't think i'd put many of the girl clothes on ds. am bit of a tomboy myself so quite happy to wear mens clothes but just doesn't seem to work the other way round!

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Firawla · 09/12/2010 19:33

the headphones thing is ridiculous but i dont really see what's wrong with exchanging girls clothes for boys etc so that the baby wears the right thing according to the gender they actually are. i know it wont "do anything to them" but i think most people would rather just go and swap the clothes rather than have to explain every 2 minutes "no its a girl, we just bought all boys clothes thinking we were having a boy"
we could all just stick them in a plain white baby grow every day for the first year or more but realistically people tend to enjoy making their babies look nice and different outfits etc, and there is nothing wrong with that. it's really not something to get too worked up about.
i have loads of boys clothes left over from my 2 ds but if this baby is a girl i wouldnt put her in them all, i would go through and pick out what's suitable and then probably swap them with someone who has the opposite genders, rather than just dress a baby in the wrong clothes out of lazyness

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borderslass · 09/12/2010 19:36

When dd1 was born we where given loads of clothes for her from a couple with 2 boys so alot of blue she wore them, but my parents and family bought dresses galore for her at one point she could of worn an outfit a day for 4 weeks without me washing.
Never had a problem with her being mistaken for a boy.
However when DS was a toddler and dressed in obviously boyish clothes he was always getting mistaken for a girl because of his gorgeous golden blond ringlets.
In years gone by little boys wore smocks up to about 18 months of age, my mum had her first in the 50's and remembers dressing him like that.

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DuelingFanio · 09/12/2010 19:37

what's the 'right thing' though? Can't boys wear pink and girls wear blue?

I wouldn't dress a baby girl in a shirt saying 'daddy's little soldier' but then again I wouldn't put a boy in one either.

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ClarasMummy · 09/12/2010 19:45

When pregnant with DD I was a little silly and went a bit mad with the pink and frilly stuff. She probably wore about 1 "outfit" and was in white cosy baby grows for the first year of her life.This time around with DS I have had most things given to me second hand and am not in the least bit bothered about him wearing stereotypical girls colours.
Went into H&M the other day with a pregnant acquaintance of mine and pointed out a lovely purple long sleeve shirt and chord set for her soon to be arriving little boy, she looked at me and said "I couldn't put a baby boy in that it's purple everyone will thing he's a girl!" Hmm
Each to their own though and all that.

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Firawla · 09/12/2010 19:48

yeah they can both wear pink and blue as in you can get pink things that are clearly boys and blue things clearly girls, but i would generally not put them in something that screams "girl" when they are infact a boy?? just as long as its fairly clear what they are, just makes life easier for everyone doesn't it? you can get some nice stuff in all different colours, sticking to just blue for boy and pink for girl would get v boring, but i just dont get why people would purposely dress them in "misleading" clothes though

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MumNWLondon · 09/12/2010 19:50

All my 0-3 month baby clothes are babygros in neutral colours so fine for either boy or girl. After that have different clothes (eg DS2 wearing DS1's clothes but not DD's). However all the babygros/vests/socks/grobags etc I bought DD were unisex so at least didn't have to buy basics again. I also bought unisex things for DD like UV suits as not worn much and good to pass down.

I wouldn't put DS2 (8 months) in pink but DS2 went through a phase of liking pink around age 2 which was fine as it was obvious he was a boy by then.

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RockinRobinBird · 09/12/2010 19:51

I don't care what colour the clothes are but I can't believe you're surprised that putting your son in a hat with a bow on confuses some people. You can be as trendy Wendy non conformist as you like, good for you, pat on the back and all that. But most of the country isn't, so expect questions. Or are you expecting Original Mummy Points? I'm never sure with threads like this.

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ToysRLuv · 09/12/2010 19:51

I have actually been looking for a pink (hot pink rather than soft) shirt for a boy. Finally found one in Next, but it was in a 4 pack with lots of boring coloured shirts. I hate navy and bloody khaki! DS is often wearing red or yellow, also nearly bought him a red, orange and pink winter hat, had it not been for my friend who was with me in the shop at the time. She was horrified that I should even think about buying him a "girl's" hat. Pah, I say. He is very cute and secure in his masculinity :) , so can wear "girl" colours, although would not put him into obvious girl clothes (soft pink or lilac with glitter, sequins etc., and words like 'princess'). If my next one is a DD, she will wear all the stuff my DS has (he has no silly logo shirts) with the possible addition of a few dresses. Anyway, if I had any girl stuff DS could wear it at home. It really does not matter what kind of top the tomato sauce gets rubbed on Grin .

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misdee · 09/12/2010 19:54

YANBU

I have 4 girls and i buy clothes from both depts for them, boys jeans fit dd1 better than girls one due to her build.

I am expecting out first son in a couple of weeks. There are some things which are too girly IMO like dresses, but a lot of stuff I have gone through for ds from the girls clothes are fine. i am keeping things like jeans with have small bits of pink piping or flowery embrodiery and plan to go over stuff like that with star patches, or even leave it if not noticable.
I have stripey brown and light pink tops which are from dd3+4 baby days, and they are fine for boys as well.

his first winter hat is a multi-coloured one which is purple, aqua and pink.

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nickytwotimes · 09/12/2010 19:58

yanbu

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katiepotatie · 09/12/2010 20:00

Oh i'm in trouble then DS (18 months) was wearing tights today Winkand was prancing about in a pink sun hat and his sisters shoes today Grin

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waitwhat · 09/12/2010 20:02

YANBA

Ds1 loves girls skinny jeans from next.He has such girlish hips they fit him like a second skin.

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Baublepink · 09/12/2010 20:23

I'm not amazed at the gender boxes for girls/boys... because they are either a girl or a boy! The converse side of your argument is that babies are gender neutral. Some parents wish to embrace that early on, some don't. No biggie! I wouldn't waste time being shocked by it, really.

I wouldn't put my DD in a boy's shirt no matter how designer, unless she had no other clothes to wear. I would give it to someone who had a DS who would really love and appreciate a designer shirt, because if I kept it, I would only use it for dressing down or for when everything else was dirty which is a waste.

Clothes are not just rags or skins to put on when we are cold, like the caveman days. They signify different things to different people and that's a very personal matter.

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ShoppingDays · 09/12/2010 20:26

YANBU. There is no real reason why girls or boys should wear specific colours. Some clothes manufacturers seem to have forgotten most of the colours apart from pink or blue even exist.

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Kaloki · 09/12/2010 20:29

YANBU, as shoppingdays points out, there is a whole rainbow of colours out there. How do people cope when they see a baby in a colour other than pink or blue?! Shock

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Joolyjoolyjoo · 09/12/2010 20:33

well, I'm not usually silly about such things, but I did dress my girls in "girls" clothes (although not dresses- too faffy and impractical) and ds is such an obvious boy, iykwim, that he would have looked odd in girls clothes- obviously maybe just to me, but it would have felt wierd.

I guess it's strange- I'm not a girly girl myself, at all. I think it might be a throwback to being a child of the 70s and always being dressed in fairly boyish clothes and having very short hair. I used to pretend it didn't bother me that everyone mistook me for a boy, but it actually did, even as a small child

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Madinitials · 09/12/2010 20:40

Didn't find out sex of DD so bought lots of unisex babygros and rompers for 0-3 months but for most her bigger clothes, I then went mad with "girl" colours. At 15 months, I have now started to buy boys clothes, esp jeans as I have tired of pink flowers on the bum and ankles.

Took DD on holiday at 5 months and if she wasn't in a sundress, people would ask if she was a girl or a boy. You wouldn't believe how many people actually suggested that I have her ears pierced to make it obvious she was a girl!

Have found out that I'm pregnant with a boy and I have throughly enjoyed buying "boy" coloured clothes. If he turned out to be a girl, I would only be more annoyed that I spent so much money on boy stuff when baby could have worn DD's hand-me-downs, she has enough of them.

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Porcelain · 09/12/2010 20:46

I always put ds in bright colours, or navy because it really suits his colouring. If I have a girl she will wear multicoloured outfits with monsters dinosaurs and robots on, I'm sure as hell not buying a whole new set when they grow so fast.

Viking warriors wore pink, because it camouflaged their wounds and made them look more hardcore in battle.

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HerculesPoiroastinOnAnOpenFire · 09/12/2010 20:49

YANBU. I went to buy my DD her first shoes today - there were 6 options for her to choose from - all of them were pink except one which was grey/purple colour with pink on. I asked if they had any other colours but apparenly they don't make them for girls in other colours and girls feet are different from boys even at 12 months old. I am thankful that she won't be able to wear them for much longer and just pray that as she gets older she will have more choice. I know it doesn't matter really, but her shoes will not 'go' with any of her clothes...!

I realise there must be a market for it, but I was thinking that surely I can't be the only person who doesn't want pink shoes for my daughter?!?

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