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A Phallic Length?

(21 Posts)
ChristmasTrulyReigns Thu 09-Dec-10 19:11:13

AIBU to think that just what this country needs right now is another unit of measurement.

I've been thinking that,along the same lines as a Country Mile and a Plumber's Hour, we could institute a Phallic Length to establish distances such as:

the distance between my rear bumper and the TwuntBehind's front bumper at 70+ mph on the motorway.

the distance between where men are looking for an invisible item and where it actually farking is. <<screams into coffee>>

the distance that I would like DH to be sleeping away from me so I can enjoy my own space. <<more frustrated screams>> angry

Has anyone got any other uses for this essential unit of measurement?

grin

juneybean Thu 09-Dec-10 19:14:13

Phallic length............. phallic......isn't that "penis shaped" ?

littlenuttree Thu 09-Dec-10 19:14:40

Wouldn't men grossly overestimate the length?? grin

juneybean Thu 09-Dec-10 19:14:57

ROFL littlenuttree

juneybean Thu 09-Dec-10 19:15:11

Also do we measure from erect or flaccid?

juneybean Thu 09-Dec-10 19:15:29

the tape measure I mean

discobeaver Thu 09-Dec-10 19:15:31

I like the idea of new measurements. On the radio the other day, a comedian was talking about the Toyota Prius. He said that the dash lit up in leaf shapes, so you could measure how smug you were supposed to be in milli-Bonos. I liked that.

A phallic length could be used to measure the space between my trolley at the checkout and the halitosis ridden lech behind me.

cherrybea Thu 09-Dec-10 19:15:50

Isn't that just the same as a smidgen hmm

Asteria Thu 09-Dec-10 19:16:07

the trouble is that would never be accurate... Everyone knows that yhey measure from their bum hole to give an extra couple of inches - although in the case of bumpers and personal space every little helps!

MsElleToe Thu 09-Dec-10 19:16:43

I thought much the same as littlenuttree, a phallic length would be twice as far in a blokes opinion wink.....think of the confusion

PlentyOfParsnips Thu 09-Dec-10 20:05:30

I like it! We already differentiate between inches and man-inches in our house grin

JarethTheGoblinKing Thu 09-Dec-10 20:08:16

POP - what's the conversion from inches to man inches? grin

SantaIsAnAnagramOfSatan Thu 09-Dec-10 20:14:55

1:1.8

i think i prefer 'erection'. i was an erection away from slapping her. there was no more than an erection between us etc.

Asteria Thu 09-Dec-10 20:15:08

the conversion from inches to man inches is relatively easy - just half it!

Asteria Thu 09-Dec-10 20:15:52

the real inch that is!

Asteria Thu 09-Dec-10 20:16:49

and this is why i didn't get maths GCSE - 5 times.... grin

Asteria Thu 09-Dec-10 20:19:25

blush

PlentyOfParsnips Thu 09-Dec-10 20:23:17

yes, 1:1.8 is about right. Just asked DP. He reckons 1:1.5 - 1:2 depending on the insecurity of the man. That's why I love him, he's bloody honest about this sort of stuff.

ChristmasTrulyReigns Thu 09-Dec-10 21:29:22

Nice one POP, I'll bet his man inches are accuarte! wink

0Lucylabia Sat 11-Dec-10 09:50:18

I've always like the "Firkin" unit of measurement. It can be very handy Too firkin close, too firkin big, too firkin small etc

WeeScotsLass Sat 11-Dec-10 13:50:02

Dudley Moore is a phallic thimble. He's 5' 0". Is that a phallic length??

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