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to have let DS2 and DS3 wear their new jackets - and tell DS1 that when his arrives tomorrow I'll send it back???

(6 Posts)
BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Thu 09-Dec-10 09:34:23

OK. Will try and explain a bit better. All 3 DS's winter jackets were either getting to small, or were falling apart, particularly DS2 and 3's. But DS1's was also getting on the short side and the bit on the zip to pull it up more easily had broken. DS2's was so bad that he couldn't even wear it anymore and had been wearing an old school jacket (also falling to pieces but at least in enough pieces to keep him warm).

So window of opportunity at the start of this week I ordered all 3 DS's brand new jackets. (I can't actually remember a time in the past when they've needed new jackets when at least one of them hasn't had a hand-me-down or a charity shop one as their "new" one).

They arrived last night after DS2 and 3 had gone to bed. And when I opened them I realised I'd fucked up and ordered a (very nice but not what I wanted) thin waterproof jacket by accident alongside 2 lovely warm snuggly jackets. As it happened the jacket for DS1 came up a little short when he tried it on, so we agreed there and then that DS2 would have that one, and I got online and ordered a new one for DS1 straight away (delivery due tomorrow - Friday) in the next size up.

Told him that it would arrive on Friday, and DS2 and 3 would just have theirs one day earlier. He's 10, and in this house everyone getting new "stuff" at the same time is an extremely rare occurence - and having to wait a couple of days/week/next month for stuff that needs replacing but isn't "urgent" also very common. It sucks, but it's the way it is.

Anyhow, they all got up this morning snd DS1 (who is 10yrs old) kicked up a massive fuss about DS2 and 3 being able to wear their jackets today. Saying they should wear their old ones because it wasn't fair as he didn't have his yet. Yet his jacket he's wearing today still (apart from the zip pull thing) and being a tiny bit too short for him still LOOKS absolutely fine. Probably because last time they all needed new jackets DS3 got one that had been through DS1 and 2 already, DS2 got DS1's old jacket and DS1 got the ONLY brand new jacket that time round.

I pointed this out to him (And that fact that I've not had a "new" winter jackets for years - they've all been charity shop or kind donations) and told him if he continued behaving like he was I'd send his new one back when it arrives tomorrow and buy him a cheap/charity shop one at the weekend.

Then he kicked up a fuss about not wanting to wear jackets that other children had worn (which I had to bite my lip to stop myself laughing I confess - as I've spent the last week battling with him to not let him wear his lovely Spring jacket that he adores, but is too thin for this weather..........which was given to him in a bag of clothes from a friend of mine - whose DS is in the year above DS1 at school).

Was I really being that unfair to let DS2 and 3 wear their new jackets today and expect him to wait until tomorrow???? He's 10, it's "normal" in our house to not all get new stuff at the same time (or within a day or two) , or even just to get 2nd hand stuff. Yet here I am buying all 3 of them really nice warm jackets and he's kicking off a me about 24hrs.

I suspect by the time he gets home from school he'll have changed his mind, and calmed down and see things differently. (in which case I won't send the jacket back.

BTW - I'm zooting out again in 15 minutes to go to DS3's nursery Christmas sing-a-long - so if this thread turns huge and I don't reply I haven't disappeared - I'll be back around lunchtime to reply and explain anything that doesn't make sense (probably most of it with my track record blush)

Plumm Thu 09-Dec-10 09:38:10

I don't think you're unreasonable to let DS 2 & 3 wear their jackets before DS1 gets his. I probably wouldn't send his new jacket back, but explain to him t hat 2 & 3 usually get his old clothes so wearing second hand clothes really isn't that bad.

Poledra Thu 09-Dec-10 09:40:38

No, YANBU. Even 2-yo DD3 managed to understand that not everyone gets something new at the same time. I bought new school tights for DDs 1 and 2 the other night, as they were getting seriously short of them (especially DD2 - honestly, what does that child do to her tights??). DD3 wanted to know where her tights were - so I said she didn't need new ones, she had plenty and I'd get her some new ones when she needed them. She wasn't entirely happy, and the pouty lip came out but too bad. 'Tis a lesson they have to learn.

And I bet he's over it when he gets home from school grin

DelGirl Thu 09-Dec-10 09:41:20

Being your DS1 he has probably had all the 'new' stuff in the first place and ds2 and 3 have had the hand me downs, can you tell him that?

misdee Thu 09-Dec-10 09:43:16

Not unfair at all.

But in the eyes of a mardy 10year old you will be majorly unfair and uncool lol.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree Thu 09-Dec-10 09:43:55

that's the thing though - I did explain this - and his beloved spring jacket is a second hand one (and not even a "random" second one from a shop - but one that used to belong to a boy in the year above him at school - as did his current favourite top.). We have had battles over this cold period about him not being allowed to wear that jacket.

Need to fly out now - will return to the thread later I promise

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