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to think my friend was right

(14 Posts)
Catnao Tue 07-Dec-10 17:22:04

my friend's colleague was so vile to a member of her staff today that she made them cry uncontrollably. My friend reported colleague to the boss for being so awful to another member of staff. She will prob/maybe be in trouble now (the one who was horrible). Another friend of mine thinks you shouldn't tell tales to the boss, esp since it was not my friend who was upset. But I actually think that if sure of the facts it is right to stand up to a bully even if on someone else's behalf? Sorry not many specific details, but want it to be anonymous iyswim?

scurryfunge Tue 07-Dec-10 17:24:24

Your friend did the right thing.

For another friend to tell you it was "telling tales" sounds about 4 years old and clearly doesn't understand bullying in the workplace.

taintedsnow Tue 07-Dec-10 17:24:42

Which friend do you think is right? The one who told the boss or the one who said that was wrong?

Catnao Tue 07-Dec-10 17:25:13

I think the one who told is right - sorry.

taintedsnow Tue 07-Dec-10 17:26:44

Then YANBU. smile

Catnao Tue 07-Dec-10 17:28:18

Thing is - the other friend thinks the horrible colleague will get a bollocking from the boss and then be more vile to the other lady, just more subtly...Do adults really behave like this?

roomonthebroom Tue 07-Dec-10 17:38:44

YANBU and neither was the friend who reported the bullying.

My student job was in a shoe shop and the manager used to play 'practical jokes' on the Saturday staff to make them look silly and make himself feel superior. I hated it and spoke up: he stopped.

AMumInScotland Tue 07-Dec-10 17:41:33

YANBU - people shouldn't stand by and do nothing when they see bullying, as a lot of the time the victim won't feel able to report it themself. Anyone who thinks that is "telling tales" needs to grow up out of the playground mentality.

frgr Tue 07-Dec-10 17:50:31

Your friend witnesses bullying to the point a member of staff started to cry, and someone tells her to not tell tales? Was that person who spoke to her about 4 years old? hmm

YANBU, neither is your friend. angry to the nasty shouty person - HR/boss should sort them out, people like that do much MUCH more harm than good in a workplace, there just is no need for it.

Catnao Tue 07-Dec-10 17:53:06

Apaarently, in front of others, this woman finished her actual SHOUTING with - "Well this kind of idiocy is TYPICAL of someone like you!" Or words to that effect - I wasn't actually there.

sims2fan Tue 07-Dec-10 18:54:42

I think your friend should be proud for standing up for colleague who was humiliated. I once had a job where my life was made hellish by 2 members of staff and everyone else on the team admitted they were awful to me but noone would do anything as they didn't want to rock the boat as they'd been there so long, and also I suspect in case they became the next person to be bullied. (I heard that I wasn't the first, so doubt I would be the last) So I just spent a year being miserable and dreading seeing these 2 women, and feeling utterly alone. Good for your friend!

hairyfairylights Tue 07-Dec-10 19:09:01

She did the right thing. I am a boss. I can tell the difference between someone who is 'grassing to make a scene or cause problem for someone' and someone who is genuinely concerned.

I also let all my staff know that I can only solve a problem if I know that there is a problem, I try and encourage them to tell me when there are problems.

lilyliz Tue 07-Dec-10 20:08:43

your friend was right ,there is nothing worse than a bully at work

unfitmother Tue 07-Dec-10 20:20:13

Your friend is right, we all need to challenge bullying in the workplace.

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