To think people should not be checking their BlackBerry's all night, at the table, when you have invited them for dinner?

(137 Posts)
strandedatseasonsgreetings Tue 07-Dec-10 14:05:07

We had some good friends - a couple - over for dinner last night. I cooked up a storm, made a curry and a side dish, we had some wine, it was all lovely. Except the male half of the couple kept reading messages on his Blackberry all night.

Now he has a very senior job in a large company so I assumed it was work and thought nothing of it. My dh also had his Blackberry on the table as he is always on call. But he had it there for important calls only.

However, towards the end of the night, Mr I'm Very Important confessed he had been checking messages about the (American) football results all night. I was fuming (inside - I didn't say anything except to take the piss a bit).

That's rude isn't it? They are really good friends of ours but not sure I would invite them again.

Greenmantle Tue 07-Dec-10 14:06:37

I would be extremely pissed off if I were you. Very rude. Could he not have waited until the end of the night to check final scores?

onceamai Tue 07-Dec-10 14:06:50

YANBU. Poor form, with manners like that he's probably won't get any more senior.

Chil1234 Tue 07-Dec-10 14:07:51

YANBU... "Height of bad manners" as my mother would say. If they return the dinner invitation, show up with a newspaper and make a big play of reading it whilst eating. Same thing.

lucy101 Tue 07-Dec-10 14:08:35

It is rude and I would be annoyed... but I might also say something but it's very tricky. It would be a shame not to invite them again... perhaps you can think of something jokey/gentle to say next time... but it's very hard when it is other people's manners.

My DH on our first date took several calls from mates. I liked him but said I wouldn't go out with him again if he took a call... he didn't do it again! I think he just had no manners and didn't see it was wrong.

santadefiesgravity Tue 07-Dec-10 14:09:25

It is very rude. Dh gets on my nerves when he is on his blackberry all the time. Mostly on facebook messaging friends. I'm like - is my company not good enough.

gramercy Tue 07-Dec-10 14:09:31


There soooooo needs to be a Code of Conduct regarding new technology. Keeping a phone on to check for an urgent message is (semi) ok, but looking at sports results/checking facebook whatever is tantamount to saying "You are not interesting enough to occupy my full attention".

I'd have submerged his stupid Blackberry in the curry.

TheMollyRogerandtheIvy Tue 07-Dec-10 14:10:10

This is a huge pet hate of mine. there is no excuse.

BunnyLebowski Tue 07-Dec-10 14:10:55

An ex-friend of mine used to do this.

She would come round for dinner/wine/a movie and would spend the entire time with her phone in her hand, nodding half-heartedly as I talked while she text people.

In the end I told her just how bloody rude she was. It's one of the reasons we are no longer friends.

YANBU at all.

strandedatseasonsgreetings Tue 07-Dec-10 14:11:23

I love chil1234's suggestion about the newspaper!!

He isn't British (Jamaican) so it could be a cultural thing? (although I know plenty of other Jamaicans and don't think they behave like this).

I wonder if he thinks because he is so busy and important he has to use every opportunity he gets to catch up on, important matters.

KERALA1 Tue 07-Dec-10 14:12:53

Unanimous YANBU. Sends out all sorts of messages none of them good. Possibly acceptable if person explains something has blown up at work, is very apologetic and mimimises blackberry fiddling. Otherwise no way.

Blu Tue 07-Dec-10 14:13:00

Incredibly rude.
And I think your DH's Blackberry should not have been ion the actual table, either. Either oin vibrate in his pocket or in the side, but if it was on the table, your guest may have thought it was acceptable.

Dead rude. Did is partner not tell him to stop it?

strandedatseasonsgreetings Tue 07-Dec-10 14:16:43

Blu - you make a good point about dh's blackberry, I hadn't even noticed it until Mr Important confessed he was checking football results and dh's was pointed out as well.

His wife uses hers a LOT as well (although not last night) so I don't think she thinks there as anything wrong with it.

I hate the bloody thing and I think it is one of the reasons dh is so stressed all the time, he can't get away from work. I caught him answering (non-urgent) messages from a colleague on sunday - and told him to tell his colleague to bloody well wait until the working week so get his answers.

PaisleyLeaf Tue 07-Dec-10 14:18:56

You should have texted him. 'More wine'?

LadyBlaBlah Tue 07-Dec-10 14:20:30

yanbu he should have had an iPhone.

Acanthus Tue 07-Dec-10 14:20:47

And did he then get on his high horse and say that his work is Very Important and he's Expected to be Available? <twitch>

onceamai Tue 07-Dec-10 14:21:29

What a brilliant idea - I shall remember that one Paisley Leaf grin

christmasheave Tue 07-Dec-10 14:23:23

YANBU - rude as hell.

strandedatseasonsgreetings Tue 07-Dec-10 14:24:27

Ladyblahblah - unfortunately can't use Iphone's here.

Love the ides of the "more wine" text, wish I'd thought of that!

Unfortunately dh does have a legitimate reason to always be on call so I can't tell him to turn it off. Although there have been days when I have hidden the damn thing....

Poledra Tue 07-Dec-10 14:27:22

'Twas very rude - I keep my BlackBerry somewhere I can hear it if I'm out (as it's the number the babysitter has) but wouldn't dream of checking email!

We had friends arrive with their children one evening to stay the weekend - I was not happy that I had to spend nearly 2 hours on the phone trying to sort out a mess with shipping for work and was most apologetic to our friends.

Hullygully Tue 07-Dec-10 14:35:02



GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Dec-10 14:36:11

I agree that it is bloody rude to check football results, there was no need for that.
However, re work emails, lots of bastard companies expect you to be 'on' at all times, so for some people there is no avoiding it.

strandedatseasonsgreetings Tue 07-Dec-10 14:39:11

Getorf - I agree which is why I excused it while I thought it was work. But when I found out it was football I felt like a mug.

GetOrfMoiLand Tue 07-Dec-10 14:40:29

Yes, that is bloody rude.

The fact he admitted it as well, he has no shame.

YoginiBikini Tue 07-Dec-10 14:43:55

He was rude but its hardly a good reason to not invite good friends to your house again

And Jamaican/cultural thing? hmm

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