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(36 Posts)

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LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights Mon 06-Dec-10 21:13:23

I's so bloody sick of DH farting. I've told him he has to either make a concerted effort not to in my presence or he can move to the spare room. Surely if he can't stop himself at least some of the time, he needs to see a doctor?

He has been at home today and I've caught him out at least 10 times. Am I being unreasonable to ask that he tries to stop?

MrManager Mon 06-Dec-10 21:16:13

It's his house too, and it's a natural bodily function. YAB a bit U.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights Mon 06-Dec-10 21:16:50

Oh but it stinks!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Mon 06-Dec-10 21:16:52

What's he eating? If it's nothing but baked beans and cabbage, ywb a bit u.

hormonesnowmore Mon 06-Dec-10 21:18:26

Encourage him to eat bio yogurts - it worked for me smile

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights Mon 06-Dec-10 21:19:04

The same food as me, and I'm not farting all over the place. If I did need to (not that I ever do, of course) I would discreetly go to another room.

zapostrophe Mon 06-Dec-10 21:21:27

Message withdrawn

Adversecamber Mon 06-Dec-10 21:21:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrManager Mon 06-Dec-10 21:22:14

"If I did need to I would discreetly go to another room."

In your own house? How bizarre!

RobynLou Mon 06-Dec-10 21:24:10

I used to admonish DH for faring, then I got pg for a second time and seemingly from the moment of conception I have been farting constantly, and loudly, there's really nothing I can do, it's terrible!

headfairy Mon 06-Dec-10 21:25:09

well there's farting and there's farting... my dh thinks it's hilarious to lift a leg and let rip with a big loud fart, in which case I usually chase him around the room until I've thwacked him as that is just plain revolting. However, normal farting is just a normal bodily function, best to try and be discrete but it's not always possible.

curlymama Mon 06-Dec-10 21:25:30

I would go to another room too. I don't expect Dh to though, he is a man! smile

I really don't understand how he can fart so much more than me when we eat the same stuff though. It's always loud, and way smellier than anything I could produce. I don't get it.

ModreB Mon 06-Dec-10 21:32:28

Be glad you didn't grow up in my family. They used to have farting competitions. Who could do the loudest, who could do the smelliest, who could do the longest. Who could do the most musical.

My uncles, aunts, mum and NAN all joined in.

Xmas day after loads of sprouts was the worst. Took my DH a long time to get used to it, his family were very coy about any bodily function. grin

onceamai Mon 06-Dec-10 21:36:40

I think he needs to get a dog to look at in a cross and meaningful sort of way grin.

Mumcentreplus Mon 06-Dec-10 21:38:47

I think he should respect how you DH is an uber farter and although he does fart in my presense he apologises..thank fuck they rarely smell!!

notanumber Mon 06-Dec-10 21:39:51

ModreB - Ha ha, reminds me of the first time a new boyfriend came to pick me up from my house as a teenager.

When the bell rang, my granny wasn't anywhere to be seen, but after a few moments she appeared, looking satisfied, announcing "That's better. I've just done a load. Oh, hello, you must be notanumber's young man. Nice to meet you at last, love."

Poor bloke didn't know where to put himself.

Alouiseg Mon 06-Dec-10 21:41:43

Cut out carby stuff, it's the bread, pasta, biscuits and junk that give you wind.

furrybootsnotjandals Mon 06-Dec-10 21:43:03

Has he tried charcoal? I know I dabbled with being a veggie for a while but went a bit crazy on the beans and tofu -it was pretty grim there for a while blush back to being a carnivore and all is well in the bottom department.
PS, Your DH may appreciate this

Mumcentreplus Mon 06-Dec-10 21:44:02

Oh and green veg..avoid brocolli,cabbage and brussels grin

marriednotmulled Mon 06-Dec-10 21:46:58

YANBU at all. I do not understand the need to share!

I've only ever heard DH fart when he's asleep and we've been together almost 9 years.

We expect whoever has wind to leave the room or make sure they are out of earshot/whiffing range. The kids get DH's coldest deathstare should they fail grin

ModreB Mon 06-Dec-10 21:52:11

notanumber - he got used to it to the point that when on holiday and doing one of those horrible Mr & Mrs comps, (which the DC's entered us for) when the question came "What does your DP do when they wake up in the morning?" his answer was


break wind grin

Marjee Mon 06-Dec-10 21:54:35

I have no idea if yabu or not but I'm giggling like a schoolgirl at this thread!

Try to look on the bright side, at least hes never asked you to pull his finger grin

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights Mon 06-Dec-10 21:57:29

he has. blush

TattytinsellooksDevine Mon 06-Dec-10 21:58:07

I've had a bit of an issue with my DH lately with this. He had a bug that upset his equilibrium slightly, and consequently he's been a fair bit windier of late and more frequent. So the farts themselves are not his "fault" and are not the issue. (Some may say its natural and never your "fault" but if you are being subjected to hangover farts or something then you could argue a lifestyle choice)

However, my patience is starting to wear a bit thin. I had the bug too so know what it does and it does go on and on but I've just got so sick of copping a lungful because he hasn't warned me. I understand if I "follow" him somewhere and corner him that its not his fault but if I'm in the kitchen and he wanders in, sits down, starts chatting, lets rip, says nothing and suddenly I'm in a cloud, well, that's not acceptable.

I also dont like hearing it - some effort to be silent is appreciated. It is possible to let them out silently with a bit of careful separation of butt cheeks effort.

So the other day I actually sat him down and raised it as an issue. I said I dont mind farts per se and think its good that we have a farting relationship, but that if he has a smelly one, it wouldn't hurt to leave the room, or at least warn me depending on who was there first etc.

He agreed, and apologised that he'd slipped a bit on the promise he made himself when we married (he promised himself on our wedding night that he'd treat me like a queen!)

ModreB Mon 06-Dec-10 21:58:27

Beans, beans, are good for your heart,

The more you eat, the more you fart,

The more you fart, the better you feel,

So let's have beans, for every meal!


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