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To be worried that tomorrow the baby's legs will be crossed..

(86 Posts)
Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 10:35:27

.. and i wont be able to find out the sex of the baby!
Also is it true that some hospital wont say anymore?

FindingMyMojo Mon 06-Dec-10 10:38:06

do you really need to know? To the extent it's causing you worry? Why not just go for the result on the day the baby comes?

BooBooGlass Mon 06-Dec-10 10:39:54

With dd I didn't know and finding out at birth was amazing. With ds I quite clearly saw his bits myself at the scan and tbh although the birth was still amazing I did miss that surprise. Keep it a surprise, there really is no reason to find out.

TwinklePants Mon 06-Dec-10 10:40:19

I heard in our hospital that they have a policy not to tell Asian parents the gender of their unborn children hmm

But soon after this I got a letter along with my 20 week scan date saying that you can find out the gender at the scan if it is practicable, and have to notify the scanner straight away if you didn't want to know.

I imagine most hospitals must be similar? - if they're trying to stop people from finding out and its such a big deal to the parents for whatever reason, surely they would just book a private gender scan?

Hope you have a brazen baby in there!

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 06-Dec-10 10:40:24

YABU. If you can't find out, then you can't find out - does it really matter?

We asked to be told if the sonographer could see, but they couldn't with either DS or this baby so we had one surprise and will have another one.

Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 10:40:28

Cause i want to know, im too excited not to.
Worry was a bad choice of word.

EricNorthpolesChristmas Mon 06-Dec-10 10:40:53

YABU to worry about it!

D0G Mon 06-Dec-10 10:41:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenOfFlamingEverything Mon 06-Dec-10 10:43:06

Does it matter?

Really, truly, does it?

chorltonandthewheelies Mon 06-Dec-10 10:44:09

You are obviously very excited at the idea of finding out and I understand that. It never occured to me to find out with my first, I wanted to know with my 2nd but hospital wouldnt tell me, it was against their policy then, but I did find out with my 3rd and it didnt spoil anything!

I could clearly see he was a boy before they told me!!

TwinklePants Mon 06-Dec-10 10:44:28

I don't really think the OP has to justify her reasons for wanting to find out. Some prefer the surprise, others (like my brother and his wife) are really glad they found out and feel like it helped them both bond with baby before he was born.

I was in the 'want a surprise' camp myself, but as I have an ultrasound scan every two weeks, I know it is only going to be a matter of time until baby waves its bits at me. I would rather it happen at the 20 week scan when DH is there to share the moment, than a few weeks later when he isn't.

Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 10:47:12

I dont think me wanting to find out what the sex is is really important here.
Thats my own personal choice.
But i am just hoping that i can find out.

Francagoestohollywood Mon 06-Dec-10 10:47:50

I don't think there is anything wrong in being excited to know the sex of your baby.

Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 10:48:57

Thankyou Francagoestohollywood

TwinklePants Mon 06-Dec-10 10:49:11

Not sure why the OP is being flamed either - what's wrong with being excited about the scan and wanting to know the gender? My 20 week scan is in a few weeks and I am excited to find out too, didn't realise that I was BU for thinking 'it matters' and not worrying about 'far more important things'. Geez!

D0G - I am sure she will be exceptionally grateful that the baby is healthy, what a strange thing to say.

chorltonandthewheelies Mon 06-Dec-10 10:49:29

Nor do I! Fingers crossed for you smile

Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 10:55:45

Thankyou Ladies im just very excited :D

Francagoestohollywood Mon 06-Dec-10 10:57:17

Sometimes people prefer to concentrate on "less important" details such as the sex of the baby than worrying about the possibility that a scan could reveal "problems". It is a totally reasonable behaviour.
I think it is great that science and technology are able to give us important information about the health of our babies and on top of that also "trivial" details like "oh look baby has got plenty of hair" or "baby is waving at you" or "it is a boy/girl".
It is a lovely moment.

MumNWLondon Mon 06-Dec-10 11:07:27


The point of a 20 week scan is to check the baby is healthy. Our sonographer said she was fed up with people asking as soon as they came in about sex and not seeming to care if everything is ok. We did ask, but not until she had checked everything was ok first.

Its ok to be excited about finding out the sex, but in the scale of things not really important and not the point of the scan.

Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 11:09:47

How do you know im not worried about the baby's health?
Just because i choose not to share that with the world doesnt mean im not thinking about it.
Jesus Christ, can a girl not be excited about finding out the sex of her first baby?

Francagoestohollywood Mon 06-Dec-10 11:12:04

Don't worry Charleney, I totally get how you feel smile, I hope you haven't misunderstood my latest post.

Charleney Mon 06-Dec-10 11:12:44

No not at all thankyou for being nice about it! lol. x

TwinklePants Mon 06-Dec-10 11:20:02

MumNWLondon - the letter I was sent specified that you should make your feelings known to the sonographer straight away about whether or not you want to know the sex of the baby. For this reason I will make sure I do this as soon as we go in for the scan. This does not mean that I care any less about the health of my baby, or that I don't appreciate what the true purpose of the scan is, it just means that I will be doing what I have been asked to do.

At the end of the day, all of these people banging on about the scan being to check if the baby is healthy, and the gender 'not being important' - the health of my baby is uppermost in my mind, but (and this is the crucial bit) no amount of worrying is going to make the slightest bit of difference to the outcome of the scan (including gender). I figure that I might as well occupy my thoughts with thinking about whether I am having a son or a daughter, than worrying whether there is something wrong with my baby.

If there is something wrong with my baby, that is the point I will find out and I will try and deal with it then. Doesn't seem a fat lot of point in gnashing my teeth and wailing much before then.

FFS, let the lady have some excitement.

Unrulysun Mon 06-Dec-10 11:30:58

I have no idea why some people think it's morally superior not to find out.

My FIL went on about this like it mattered greatly - tutting and huffing and saying he didn't 'care so long as it's healthy' like we didn't care if it was healthy. Bizarre. And then when she was born going around saying 'of course I didn't officially know she was a girl until after the birth' WTF? No-one cares you silly man.

chorltonandthewheelies Mon 06-Dec-10 11:32:01

Totally agree TwinklePants people are being very judgemental and I speak as someone who was on the recieving end of having a very sick and disabled little boy despite having numerous scans which showed no problems.

Due to finding out what I was having at my 20 week scan I had bonded with my little boy so much before he was born that I saw him as my little boy first and all his problems second. I am sure it helped me.

Enjoy your scans and have a wonderful relaxing pregnancy!!

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