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to want DH to go out when he's said he will?!

(24 Posts)
LoudRowdyDuck Sun 05-Dec-10 16:57:42

I am aware I do not sound terribly loving. grin

DH said earlier today he was planning to go out with a group friends for a meal (it's a regular thing they do on Sundays and he's not been for a couple of weeks). I quite fancied an evening to myself, to be honest. Now, he says he's checked and only a couple of people are going so he won't bother.

He has had a cold and took two days off work this week, which - as I study at home - meant he was there all day. Yesterday and today he's been sniffling and feeling sorry for himself, sitting around making sinus-y noises and so on. He's been wearing his dressing gown all day both days (I don't know why that irritates me but it does!).

I would just love to have the place to myself, to put a film on and get some work done without him constantly interrupting me to get tea/more tissues/food. He can see I'm fed up and keeps coming to give me big hugs and I, bad wife that I am, am really struggling not to tell him to eff off!

He's also not drinking at the moment as it is Advent and he fasts from meat/alcohol, so has turned down the offer to share a bottle of wine this evening. Like a big killjoy.

Grrr! So, come on - am I a horrible wife who should learn saintly patience?

Itsonme Sun 05-Dec-10 17:01:36

This is one of the weirdest posts I've ever read!

He go out and he won't drink cause he's fasting and is ill! God the cheek of the man!

ilovemyfestivehens Sun 05-Dec-10 17:02:24

YABU, the poor man is sick.

Can't you just go into another room and watch your movie in there? I'm sure he can manage to fix himself up with food and tissues even though he's sniffly.

LittleMissHoHoHoFit Sun 05-Dec-10 17:02:44

Why don't YOU go out with a girlfriend for a bit of a diversion?

LittleMissHoHoHoFit Sun 05-Dec-10 17:03:53

BTW, totally YANBU.... nothing worse than a sick man hanging about snivelling.

LoudRowdyDuck Sun 05-Dec-10 17:03:53

Sorry, I know, I realize I'm being mean.

I'm not actually doing anything except bringing him hot drinks and so on, I just felt a bit ranty and thought I'd let it out.

I guess it's that he isn't ill enough to mind going out!

Batteryhuman Sun 05-Dec-10 17:09:28

I feel your pain and add to it mine...

My DH is sniffing and it is driving me crazy. He criticizes my (admittedly crap) taste in TV and then gets upset if I go and sit in another room to get away from his documentaries (does anyone else watch "men cutting down trees for fun over and over in some sawdusty groundhog day"?).

Oh and it is his birthday. [bad guilty wife emoticon]

LoudRowdyDuck Sun 05-Dec-10 17:13:01

Oh no! You win battery.

I think it's the sniffing that's the worst, too ... I end up going into toddler mode and have to bite my tongue instead of saying 'now, get a tissue and BLOW like a good boy!'.

And we don't even have kids grin

He won't stay in one room, keeps wandering around and asking for hugs ... look love, I know you're ill, but I have got up to hug you five times in the last half hour, you can probably give it a rest now!

LittleMissHoHoHoFit Sun 05-Dec-10 18:14:21

Ew, if he hugs you, you'll get it... and then who'll have to look after you? HIM?? hmm

TrillianAstra Sun 05-Dec-10 18:33:30

LRD were you previously another animal with the initials LRD? If not then someone is missing. (not a stalker honest, just someone I used to notice about)

Go be nice to him.

I agree though, it is nice to have an evening to yourself and annoying when something you have been looking forward to fails to happen.

LoudRowdyDuck Sun 05-Dec-10 18:41:02

Right: I have been good, and I have gone out and bought him sushi and pretzels because he likes them, and he has cheered up, and his friend has rung and persuaded him to go out after all. And so fate smiles upon me! grin

He still doesn't realize my mood was because I was being a rotten impatient wife ... he thinks I'm having work trouble. blush

Thanks all for listening when I was ranty, you made me feel better and encouraged me to be much nicer when I was slipping a bit. smile

Trillian - hello! Good to 'see' you. Yes, I'm LRD. I miss my old name but wanted it not to be too search-able.

diddl Sun 05-Dec-10 18:44:14

"so has turned down the offer to share a bottle of wine this evening. Like a big killjoy."

Don´t understand that tbh.

You can still have some if you want, can´t you?

Why does not wanting a drink make him a killjoy?

I do sympathise though, as there´s not much worse than an ill man.

Onetoomanycornettos Sun 05-Dec-10 18:47:25

Oh I always feel disappointed initially when my husband turns up when I think he's going to be away, I kind of plan things and relish the time on my own, and am not good at switching to enthusiastic caring wife mode. But you have, plus he's going anyway, so you get to look great and have the night to yourself. Result!

MsFC Sun 05-Dec-10 18:50:28

I'm with you OP. Ill men really bug me. And drinking alone is dull unless you can have uninterrupted viewing of X Factor and eat chocolate without having to share...

MsFC Sun 05-Dec-10 18:56:47

battery that made me laugh! Read your post to DP and he said 'oh oh, Swamp Tree Loggers, I love that!'

Alouiseg Sun 05-Dec-10 19:10:20

I feel your pain! Dh has been lurking working from home and I can't bloody stand it. I like to see my men at 6.30am with a cup of tea in hand then again at 7.30 ready for dinner. Anything in between is intrusive and irritating.

LoudRowdyDuck Mon 06-Dec-10 16:59:47

Oops, sorry, keyboard died last night and I didn't reply. Thanks for the sympathy, and PMSL at Alou! grin

diddle - I didn't really mean that he was a killjoy! I was anticipating the standard MN 'have a glass of wine' as a response tba.

ThwopGoesTheMooncup Mon 06-Dec-10 17:41:56

YAsooooooNBU LRD. I like my alone time and rarely get any now we have DS. I would LOVE a night in on my own, and if I was expecting one and DH let me down I would cry.

I also have no patience with ill men. If it's flu, go to bed. If it's just a cold, man up! Get dressed and take some Beecham's. I have to be properly ill for it to stop me working, drinking or going out.

knitpicker Mon 06-Dec-10 17:45:30

Ha ha - the movie you need to watch together is Synedoche NY, that will make all the sick husbands buck up.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 06-Dec-10 17:50:59

omg that is the maddest film of all time.

LoudRowdyDuck Mon 06-Dec-10 18:45:17

Ooh, ok, will tell DH to see if it's in the rental. grin

He is much better today and wants to go out for dinner to celebrate me passing the thing I've been working towards for a while, and I suspect he knows I'll enjoy my turn being fussed over! blush grin

ElephantsAndMiasmas Mon 06-Dec-10 18:50:11

Hey well done for passing the whatever-it-was!

I didn't mean mad in a good way re: the film BTW. confused

LoudRowdyDuck Mon 06-Dec-10 18:55:26

Thanks! And ... Hmm. I'm quite curious now, though!

knitpicker Tue 07-Dec-10 09:51:40

It does go on a bit. Isn't there a bit in it where the wife tells the husband she only wants to be around happy, heathly people at the moment just as he is experiencing some health worries? That's what made me think to say it

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