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To go away for week without hubby and 3 kids

(10 Posts)
whattodonow1 Fri 03-Dec-10 23:46:07

Hubby has been very selfish over last couple years. Was out loads whilst I was pregnant, when darling baby wouldn't take a bottle saying just cos you can't go out doesn't mean I can't, not saying he can't but a little more enthusiam to have special time with me a home wouldn't go a miss, he went away for 2 stag weekends, leaving me with the 3 kids,, all aged 4 and under.
Before his last weekend away I said if he was going to do all this socialising I should go away childfree for a week next year. I really don't feel hubby appeciates everything I do. He has had cheek in the past to moan about state of the place, believe me pur house is pretty spotless considering having 3 kids so young, never actually had to deal with putting all three to bed or even deal with them all day.
I sort of feel the need to go away for a week just to let him fully appreciate a day in the life of me. Part of me feels guilty on the kids though and I know I'd miss them. Should I go anyway though? scared also the kids will be in their pjs all week eating crap!

iamamug Fri 03-Dec-10 23:51:23

I think you should have a break but maybe a week is a liitle ambitious with the DCs so small.

I do it every year at least once for a week but my DCs are older and my DH works from home.

He is off to Cuba in Jan for 2 weeks then Vietnam for 3 weeks in March. (with a 2 week family holiday in Thailand in between!)

We are gettng on a bit and he needs to do this stuff while he still can - I'm happy for my weeks in the sun on my own!

Try a weekend city break before you go for a full week and DON'T fill the freezer before you go!

cat64 Fri 03-Dec-10 23:55:22

Message withdrawn

greenbananas Sat 04-Dec-10 01:08:50

I do kind of understand how frustrating it can be when DH doesn't appreciate the day-to-day stress involved in full-time childcare. But perhaps I will go against the grain here... I say put the kids first... obviously being in their PJs won't do them any damage, but if you are seriously worried about their physical or emotional safety then you should not go, no matter how entitled you feel.

(Feel free to ignore me completely - I confess that I am a rather hippy sort of mum who feels that playing is more important than housework and who cannot imagine being able to afford this kind of break anyway grin )

PureAsTheDrivenShow Sat 04-Dec-10 01:32:47

Well I wouldn't do it with children that young. I'd miss them, they'd struggle if their Dad truly isn't able to do these things for them.

I'd work to change some of the problems instead. I'd worry that at the end of the experiment, he'd just think, thank f I don't have to do that again and then nothing's been achieved.

CheerfulYank Sat 04-Dec-10 01:51:33

Honestly, I think it'd be good for you all.

onmyfeet Sat 04-Dec-10 01:56:57

Maybe go for a week-end on a regular basis, just because the kids are so young, it may be hard on them. Unless there is a specific place you are thinking of and you need to be away for a week to enjoy it.

mumoverseas Sat 04-Dec-10 09:10:13

I think you should go away and I think I should go with you grin
I've been feeling the same recently. DD is 4 and DS 21 months and I've not had more than 6 hours to myself since they were born. DH regularly gets time to himself, not so much weekends away with mates but regular time away from the chaos of the house. A lot of my friends go away for girly weekends and I really feel I need a break now. Much as I love the kids, I need some ME time.

Am thinking of booking a long weekend at a health spa or just anywhere in the new year.
Go for it

DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain Sat 04-Dec-10 09:12:29

yes, go, it will make him pull up his socks but make sure you are not worrying the whole time! If they are in pjs all day, eating crap for a couple ofdays, it's not the end of the world in the long run. If it was their regular life-style it would be more of a problem but a couple ofdays like that, will be ok.

Be warned though: he mayjust park them in front of the tv from morning till evening and lie in bed himself!

LoveMyGirls Sat 04-Dec-10 09:32:56

I would go but I know dh would cope, infact I'd be very ashamed if he couldn't be trusted to look after our dc's on his own. I have always been of the opinion that should anything happen to me (god forbid) then my dh and dd's would be able to cope without me, I don't think I have made myself totally indispensible - I am in the way that I'm their mum and no-one can ever be me BUT not in the way that they wouldn't be able to get dressed, eat, do their own hair, work the washing machine, keep the house clean etc

So for the reasons that he should be able to cope and if he can't its high time he learnt and also that you need a break and to be appreciated (and you know what they say "you don't know you've got til its gone) I would be going, I would plan it well in advance though, so say the last weekend in march so he has plenty of warning and you have time to teach dc's things like maybe get your eldest dc to learn how to make cereal or drinks, dress themselves that kind of thing (sorry don't know how old your dcs are) not only will this make you more confident they will be fine without you but also make your day to day life a bit easier if each child can be as independant as they can be, encourage them to do things for themselves with stickers and praise (sorry if you do this already and I'm telling you everything you already know) also I would build up to the going away for a week, I would start with an evening, a day, a weekend so dc's get used to the fact sometimes daddy looks after them on his own while you are not there.

my dh learnt to do all this when dd2 was 6 months old and I went to work as a carer, I would work evenings and weekends then I started childminding as well and was working 66 hours a week, he HAD to learn how to run the house and look after dc's on the weekends because I wasn't there and couldn't get the washing/ proper cleaning/ food shopping done during the week.

I hth and you get the break you deserve.

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