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I feel im not coping,and need mn hug?.

(15 Posts)
cherrytreeblooms Fri 03-Dec-10 21:01:30

I dont know whether im coming or going, we live in housing had a problem with neighbours for the last two months had our property damaged,cant prove anything except a used cigerate butt was flicked onto my kids trampoline and burnt it twice,other incidents have happened.

Tonight kids through a snowball at the front door,I caught them they were hiding.

Approached them they also live in the street,they said it was an accident,I questioned them as to why they were hiding if that wa sthe case,then they went into the neighbours where we have been having problems with.

He did apologise before hand ,but laughed and went into their house when he thought I had gone,I knocked the door at the house he then said to me get over it.

Came back to have the dd's mother at my door ranting at me about involving the police ,because in anger I said would report it.

She started to shout at me infront of my kids saying I had overreacted and I should know it wa sher dd,which I did I admit to you no I did not know it was her dd.

I lost it with her and swore,tbh I have had enough of it all,I dont want to live here anymore?,Im not used to dealing with this never had problems with anyone,but can assure you it seems one thing after another.

Dp has had a offer for us to move into his parents house and share with them in the near future,having seperate parts of their house they would be next door in there annexe we have a chance to buy their house ,plus dp is investing money with the inlaws,which has caused arguments between us as we were planning to move eventually.

I feel I have no control of anything at the moment,I have also told new boss im leaving my second job due to them misleading me in the job interview,as I being asked to go to other places of work,this was not agreed,and is not covered by my insurance as that would be business as I have to claim for petrol.

Im here on my own dp gone out said i overacted and im a loon,im feeling very down,I have no control of anything I feel everyone is walking all over me,and im left to deal with the dcs.

I have yet to go back to work as the school has reported my employers,and I know im about to have new employers wanting to talk to me about leaving,i alos have to go to work tomorrow at my other job and dont really feel up to it.

I left the incident with the snowball as it would lead to more hassel as advised by the police, which tbh I overreacted and I cant be dealing with,I feel like leaving and going back to parents.

Im sorry it sounds stupid but Im not happy infact im miserable,maybe im a drama queen.

I need a mn hug,im a regular been here for years but change my name alot.sorry.

cherrytreeblooms Fri 03-Dec-10 21:07:33

anyone you can tell me im a Drama Queen.

oldenoughtowearpurple Fri 03-Dec-10 21:08:13

Here's a hug. ((((())))). There seem to be a lot of problems all building up to big stress and big confusion. I hope you can untangle all the different threads and deal with them one by one.

cubbie Fri 03-Dec-10 21:08:26

Hey, am a newbie here, have replied to a few posts and lurk a lot, but here's a gentle hug((((((((( )))))))) and lots of sympathy and understanding.

I'm sorry you're having such a rotten time just now. Afraid I have no advice for you as I'm just about to log off, but I saw your post and wanted to reply quickly so that you don't feel so alone.

If it's any consolation at all, I have chronic facial pain for over a year now plus another very painful. debilitating condition, and I often feel very down and isolated because of it.

I know it's nowhere near the same as the aggro you have, I just mean that I can understand being in a situation that seems to have no solution or end in sight. (am not looking for sympathy for myself, I just take loads of painkillers and plenty of wine haha!!!!)

Hope someone else can be of more use to you, love, cubbie

Mumcentreplus Fri 03-Dec-10 21:14:41


maryz Fri 03-Dec-10 21:22:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cherrytreeblooms Fri 03-Dec-10 21:28:09

Thanks I think your right,deep down its all biult up and I lost it tonight over something small.

trixie123 Fri 03-Dec-10 21:41:03

general ((((hugs))))

trixie123 Fri 03-Dec-10 21:42:31

oohh, just saw the christmas smileys so am sending you a bear as a nice cute thing, don't know if thats how it is supposed to be used (i thought the biscuit one was a nice one for ages)

marriednotmulled Fri 03-Dec-10 21:55:40

Hi cherry, I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.
It all sounds like lots of horrible niggles getting out of hand. ((big hug))

cherrytreeblooms Fri 03-Dec-10 22:07:09

Thanks,Trixie123 and Marriednotmulled im sure tomorrow will be bettergrin.

kaiki Fri 03-Dec-10 22:14:33

yuck cherry, sounds hideous all round. when you say housing do you mean an HA ? i worked for one up until earlier this year (when i had dd) and dealt with all kinds of horrific disputes between neighbours. if that is the case then you need to have a word with your housing officer (the office will be able to tell you who that is) and if necessary keep a log book or diary of any problems no matter how minor - it seems ineffectual but it does contribute to your case if you choose to have one.
however any type of rehousing is very hard to come by without 'valid' reason (destruction of property, threats of violence etc) so if you have the chance to move, even to your dp's parent's annexe then do so, if you feel it will make you feel less stressed and reduce the pressure.

it sounds as though you have so much going on that you can't focus on any one thing long enough to be able to repair or adjust it. try to think about what is foremost on your list of priorities - is it your job, the way your dp treated you tonight or your housing situation ? once you can confront and begin to change one thing you will feel more confident and better equipped to deal with the others (so says me, sat in wellies and a blanket on her third beer).
happy to help if you need it, big hugs if not.

LadyGolden Fri 03-Dec-10 22:18:59

huggles,cuddles and smooshes Deep breath, Cup of tea/Glass of wine, Bar of chocie! Everything thats wrong right now seems worse than it is because it's all happening at once you poor thing! Take tonight for yourself and put it to the back of your mind (easier said than done!) but it will seem easier tomorrow! The neighbor will be thrilled with this drama it will give her something to talk to her clearly pea brained husband about! and when you DP gets home just hug him and say sorry. An argument tonight is not what you want! even if you're p*ssed off beyond belief it's so much better to just let it go (For now! hehe) Feel better chick!

cherrytreeblooms Sat 04-Dec-10 08:58:28

thanks everyone its just nice to have someone to listen to me,and give me mn hugs.

DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain Sat 04-Dec-10 09:06:06

ok. You obviously feel totally stressed with one thing and another atm. I didn't understand what was going on with school/work but here you are unhappy wtih the houseing/neighbours and you have the possibility to move into your PIL's house.

Is that alright with you, even as a temporary solution or would you rather not?

If you are soon moving out, forget the neighbours, just shrug it off as best you can. I think you are right, it seems you lost it not because what happened was all that bad but because you feel totally under stress anyway.

Is there any point having a cup of tea and a chat with that neighbour to gloss things over a bit in the meantime, till you're out of there? No need to go over what happened, just offer an olive branch.

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