She is one of my best friends and I have known her since I was about 2 (so over 30 yrs) we went to school together, she moved away in her teens but we always kept in touch by letter. I also moved away and when I had my first child in my early 20's we met up again with my partner and her husband.
She told me she was unable to ever have a child of her own. Something she rarely confided in anyone. A few months later I said when my family was complete I would be their host surrogate. We moved abroad and they came to visit and lived near us. I became pregant with my second child and returned to the UK - they also returned.
A year after the birth of DC2 she and I went through the process of fertitlity treatment which was unsuccessful. Two years later we tried again and I became pregannt with my own DC accidently - which was difficult for me and devastating for them. We managed to resolve this and they adore my DS3.
I got married and shortly after we tried again and became pregant. I lost the baby which was devastaing for us all. I decided I had reached the end of the road with the surrogacy and needed to focus on my own life and family.
We remained really good friends seeing each other regually and she continued to confide in me each stage of their journey throughout successful and unsuccessful attempts with several other surrogates one of whom became a really good friend to her and who I also am fond of. One new year they lost a baby and I cancelled my plans and drove straight there to be there for them - and they were there for me through various traumas including the breakdown of my marriage.
This year I have seem them 5 or 6 times for weekends (we don't live near) and asked how its all going to which she has told me various things and spoken frequently about the other surrogate who is the good friend and things they have done and shown me pictures - and I looked after their dog for a few weeks while they went away.
A few days ago I recieved a text telling me their baby had arrived safely a few days ago.
I was very 
but at the same time delighted for them after 15 yrs of trying.
I sent a short text back congratulating them.
I feel so hurt she didn't confide in me but understand after so many things going wrong they may not have told anyone and that is their business not any elses but AIBU after spending 3 years of my life trying to have their baby and being a confidant of and being a constant support and at times defending them to those who said "they should just accept its not going to happen" to have wanted to be phoned and told of this wonderful news not told in a text a few days later. When I didn't even know about the pregnancy.
I feel so shocked and hurt I cannot even bring myself to phone them which makes me feel like a complete bitch.
Sorry for long post - needed to get it out.
AIBU?
to feel overjoyed for my friend but so hurt I'm not sure if I want her in my life anymore..
Ladyanonymous · 03/12/2010 18:22
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
LA I am going to say this as sensitively as possible as I have no idea of the circumstances so forgive me, but she got over the hurt of you falling pregnant with your own child whilst trying to fall for her. That must have been very difficult for her and tested your friendship to the absolute limit.
If she managed to move on from that I really think you need to make every effort not to ruin what has clearly been an incredible friendship.
FWIW I think it is strange that she didn't tell you about teh pregnancy. I don't think you should read anything into only receiving a text a few days after the birth. Just remember back to your DC's and how utterly wrapped up with them you are in the early days 
I really hope you can get over this.
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