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To be fuming with DH for going out today

(28 Posts)
Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 16:05:05

DH has gone out for a work party leaving me with 4 DC, 3 of which have tonsillitis, as do I.

AIBU for thinking he could have just called and cancelled? It's only a team do.

scurryfunge Fri 03-Dec-10 16:07:28

He is a bit unreasonable - if I felt I had no choice but to go I'd have gone for a couple of hours only.

bruxeur Fri 03-Dec-10 16:09:43

Did you actually ask him not to or did you use the wonder that is telepathy?

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake Fri 03-Dec-10 16:11:27

depends. I would not expect dh to cancel a work do as he leads his team - it would look crap if he wasn't there. Also, his team, manage to get together once a year so cancellation not really an option.

Aren't you all just in bed or watching movies while eating ice cream?

Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 16:14:38

No I did ask him not to go, he said that he 'had to'. Meal was at 3, I asked if he would be home to help me bath the kids or at least get them into bed, he said it would be bad form for him to leave before his boss hmm

I did suggest that he explain the situation to his boss, who also has children but apparently this wouldn't be acceptable either.

Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 16:16:11

Oh and his team get together once a week for half a days training followed by lunch, so it's not like they never see each other.

ll31 Fri 03-Dec-10 16:18:21

well presumably its snow day for school and tomorrows weekend and you've all tonsillitis so why are you bathing kids.. let them stay up late watch dvd till they're asleep and carry them into bed... maybe these days people are being more concerned about ensuring they do nothing to upset job/boss etc so he may be being very realistic about what he has to do

SandStorm Fri 03-Dec-10 16:20:04

Is his job secure? Could he be worried that 'bad form' may put him first in the line for any redundancies?

Plus, 3pm is during the working day when he should be at work regardless so I'm afraid I think YAB a little bit U.

MrManager Fri 03-Dec-10 16:21:50


In this economy, no-one wants to be the one who doesn't go to 'optional' meetings.

AgentZigzag Fri 03-Dec-10 16:22:25

Not sure, it's hard to get across to someone else the atmosphere there can be in a workplace.

I can see his point about not feeling comfortable bringing problems he has at home to his boss.

Presumably he loves both you and your DC, and would never choose work over you unless he really had to.

I'm sure it's not a raving knees up and he'd much rather be at home with you than with the tossers he's forced to work with smile

Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 16:24:33

They are salespeople in media, it will definitey be a raging piss up

AgentZigzag Fri 03-Dec-10 16:40:31

If that's the case, just console yourself in the hangover he'll have tomorrow <<evil revenge grin>>

Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 16:46:28

True, but that means I will have to care for all the SC whilst he wallows in bed holding his head and claiming it's not a hangover and that he's genuinely ill hmm

Can you tell that all the illness this week is getting to me and making me grumpy

Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 16:47:14

DC doh

SantasENormaSnob Fri 03-Dec-10 16:48:02


Go Fri 03-Dec-10 16:48:12

No it doesn't - go out tomorrow if he has a hangover. Even if he is genuinely ill, then it's just the same as you are today. Might teach him a lesson grin

JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube Fri 03-Dec-10 16:51:04


There is a solution however. Tomorrow morning, when he's severly suffering, get yourself up and dressed and out the door (for the day I mean, I'm not crying "leave him")! grin

Rudolphsnose Fri 03-Dec-10 17:28:35

Oh also, it's not a snow day here, we don't have any. Have to do baths as they haven't had one for 4 days because of being ill, they really need one.

Day out? DH would do his nut.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly Fri 03-Dec-10 18:13:21


So it's ok for him to go out but not you?

upahill Fri 03-Dec-10 18:15:54


and all these childish responses about going out tomorrow while he has a hangover are predictable, boring and bloody mean tbh

LoveMyGirls Fri 03-Dec-10 18:17:43

I'd def go out. So what if he does his nut, no good having 1 rule for one and one for another

FakePlasticTrees Fri 03-Dec-10 18:22:21

YABU - these team dos are often 3 line whips.

Consider this to be work - not 'fun' - these things are important for the way he is seen within the company.

upahill Fri 03-Dec-10 18:28:26

Ok I would be annoyed at the one rule for me malaky but if it was a level playing field I wouldn't be bothered - having been in this situaton myself when the boys were younger.

I know you are feeling grotty and so is DC but work is work even if it is on a team do/ work party.

LoveMyGirls Fri 03-Dec-10 18:37:24

Level playing field then fair enough but it's not is it? Plus 4 dcs when they and you are ill needs both parents imo.

MrsGuyOfChristmasBorn Fri 03-Dec-10 18:38:03

I have been in this position both ways round and to be seen to be in the team is part of the job, as I oul think in his as it is a sales team.
I would agree about not bathing the kids etc, do it in the morning.

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